Nowhere to Run
by ShadowGraffiti
Summary: *COMPLETE* *Santa Clause 2* She knew the look in his eyes. He wanted to run... oh, she knew how badly he wanted to run, but he couldn’t. None of them could. There was nowhere to run.
1. Prolouge

**Nowhere to Run  
****by CrystalHorse72**  


  
A/N: Yup... started nother one ^_^ Well, this idea has been building in my head for a LONG time... Okeday, I own Kae, Jacey, and Perrin, Agurakki/Rejah, and the Dark Elves... thas it!!!!!! I DON'T OWN SANTA CLAUSE OR BERNARD!!!!! Okay, happy Disney??? Sheesh!! ^_^  


  
**Prolouge****  
  
**

A young elf sat by the cackling fire, rubbings his pale hands over a cup of cocoa that had long gone cold. He was lost in thought, staring into the fire as it flickered in his eyes. The brown had gained a slight, red tint to it over time. They shone red with blood.  
  
The elf had murdered many, for he was the Second Assasin in the organization known as the Dark Elves. No one knew anyone's real names, instead identified by numbers. He was D.E.-712, just 712 for short. Dark Elves were elves against Christmas and everything it stood for. The hate ran deep, for there were many elves in the world who were forced to mingle with humans, despising those who were able to live in Christmas Town, always with friends, never without a smile. Didn't they know what it was like to be out in the real world?!   
  
No, they didn't. They were nothing but children, their innocence and ignorance preserving their young appearence forever. Every other elf grew up like a normal human, for each of them knew the horrors of the real world. They could end their lives with a single thought, and many saw no reason to live. The Light Elves, on the other hand, had no reason to die, living forever in happiness. And every Dark Elf hated them for it.  
  
The Dark elves had been started the night a young elf boy named Rejah had finally been consumed by his hate. He murdered his family, smiling wickedly at their pain as she squeezed the lives out of them from between his fingers. He had set fire to his whole village, and as he watched the burning flames, he laughed and let the darkness forever hold him. And thus, he had started the Dark Elves, recruiting all elves that hated those of the Light. He gained power, learning Elven Magic that could torture and kill. As the Dark Elves grew, Rejah was forever transformed into Lord Agurakki, the Dark One.  
  
712 had been exposed to Dark Elf Magic for years, his parents having been murdered by it when he was young. He wasn't innocent, yet in a way, he was. He had only been a Dark Elf for seven years, giving himself to the Darkness the New Year's Eve just after the newest Santa Clause had spent his first Christmas in the North Pole. However, he had started training two years before that. He could use Dark Elf Magic well, while many couldn't kill unless they tried several times.   
  
712 suddenly became angry with himself. His eyes seemed to gain a reddish tint, as they did when he was filled with rage or sent out to kill. And suddenly, from between his fingers, the cup of Cocoa shattered into millions of pieces, though not a single one hit him.   
  
WHAT HAPPENED?! his head snapped up to see a small elf named Judy standing in the doorway, hand over her heart in panic, looking at the shattered glass.  
  
I dropped it, sorry, 712 laughed nervously, which made Judy eye him skeptically.  
  
she replied with a sigh before meeting his eyes with her own. He secretely prayed they had returned to brown, for what would Judy say if she saw his eyes? He was a murder... and she would know. He imagined how her face would twist in horror and hate if he told her the countless innocents he had murdered with his own hands.  
  
Are you alright? Judy asked, making him snap out of his daydream.  
  
Of course, he smiled. Don't worry... I'll clean it up.  
  
Yeah, you better! Judy flashed him a mischevious smile before laughing. See you around, Bernard!   
  
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A/N: Doncha hate me?? ^_^ Don't worry... I have a perfectly good explanation!! This is a very complex story... I mean, honestly, can you see Bernard hating Christmas and murdering innocents for no reason?! Trust me... this will probably turn out much different than you think. And you will find it all out in the next chapter... SO **REVIEW**!!!!!! ^_^


	2. Running From Me

A/N: Alright, alright... here's the explanation!! SHEESH *throws it at readers* Also, I'm going to put a song at the beginning and end of each chapter... its supposed to simbolize what Bernard feels. I think this first song is PERFECT! ^_^  
  


**Running From Me  
****chapter 1  
  
Trust Company - Running From Me  
**  
Say a prayer for me, cause I can barely breath,  
I'm suffering, and I can't take it.  
Because of me, no one will ever see,   
This side of me, if I don't make it.  
  
It's like I can't wake up,   
It's like I cant get up.  
It's like I can't remember,  
Who I used to be,  
  
Am I running from you,   
Or am I running from me?  
  
It's like I can't wake up,   
It's like I cant get up.  
It's like I can't remember,  
Who I used to be,  
  
Am I running from you,   
Or am I running from me?  
  
Clear a path for me, because I can barely see,  
I'm stumbling, and I can't shake it.  
It's up to me, to save myself from me,   
My enemy, but I can't face it.  
  
It's like I can't wake up,   
It's like I cant get up.  
It's like I can't remember,  
Who I used to be,  
  
Am I running from you,   
Or am I running from me?  
  
It's like I can't wake up,   
It's like I cant get up.  
It's like I can't remember,  
Who I used to be,  
  
Am I running from you,   
Or am I running from me?  
  
I'm breaking out.  
Here I come, here I come, here I come  
Can't, wake, up, cause I'm not around,  
  
Am I running from you,  
Or am I running from me?  
  
It's like I can't wake up,   
It's like I cant get up,  
It's like I can't remember,   
Who I used to be.  
  
Am I running from you?  
Can't face myself, I'm just left with the suffering.  


  
~*~  
  
Bernard hated gatherings. Every Dark Elf, each of them cloaked in black with hoods that shadowed their faces, stood in a giant circle around a bonfire, the Dark One in their midst. He went on and on about the purpose of their cause, on how Christmas would be destroyed forever, and how one day, they would destroy the North Pole and murder St. Nick. In the beginning, it had shocked Bernard, but now, he barely listened. Instead, the puzzled over seamingly random things, tonight's being what had forced him to do this to himself.  
  
Judy was one of the reasons Bernard had become a Dark Elf. Judy was one of the happiest elves he had ever seen, her beautiful smile never fading. She and a few other elves were the reason he had pledged alliegence under the Dark One, the reason why he had slaughtered so many, the reason he had become a Dark Elf. There was one thing, though, that separated him from most other Dark Elves.   
  
He was a Grey Elf. He murdered the Light for the Dark, but spied on the Dark for the Light. He was nothing but a spy, having given up his whole innocent life for a cause that might be completely useless. If the Dark One found out, Bernard would be killed... but that wasn't what bothered him. The only thing that truly mattered to the Head Elf was that he didn't die until the elves in the North Pole knew he was innocent. He couldn't tell them yet, though... you never know who might be listening.  
  
Bernard thought of the Second-in-Command, who was also one of his greatest friends. Curtis had come to the North Pole during Scott Calvin's second year, and the two of them became such close friends that new elves always thought they were brothers (Ha! The way they fight, they might as well be!). Bernard had known Curtis before, though. In fact, he had known Curtis since the elf was only two-hundred years old. During those seven hundred years, they had become two of the greatest friends you could ever imagine.  
  
That is, until Bernard decided he would become a Grey Elf. He knew that with his new focus on this, he would never be able to continue the long-distance friendship he and Curtis shared, so he convinced the elf to come work at the North Pole. Bernard had always felt that, though he couldn't tell Curtis what had made him unhappy, the younger elf would always cheer him up. He remembered the day a certain new elf had come to the North Pole.  
  
His name is Perrin, Curtis growled, pointing. Bernard soon spotted an elf he'd never seen before with short, black hair, pale skin, and shining blue eyes. He was tall and lanky, surprisingly the same size as Bernard. Sighing a bit, he went over to introduce himself. He was a bit worried, because an elf would only grow up if they had witnessed or preformed Dark Elf Magic.  
  
Hullo... name's Bernard. I'm the Head Elf. I suspect you must be Perrin? Perrin had stepped back and seemed to size Bernard up before eyeing him darkly.  
  
I am, he replied before snickering, his eyes resting on Bernard's shabby clothes. You don't look like much of a Head Elf... rather pitiful if you don't mind my saying. Bernard want to sock him. From that moment on, he and Curtis had hated him. They had bribed the younger elves to dump tinsel all over him when he walked by, and for Abbey to slip sleeping powder or something like that into his Hot Cocoa. Nobody liked him, seeing him only as a ignorant prat. Yet strangely, when they scowled at him, he seemed to hold his head even higher, his sneer just a bit wider. Bernard wasn't alone in wanting to punch the elf's lights out.  
  
Then, one fateful day, when he had been summoned to a gathering, someone had waved a torch in his face, exposing it for a few brief seconds. After he blinked back the painful light, he noticed a Dark Elf staring at him. He could feel the eyes concealed under that black hood watching him the whole night.  
  
When the gathering was over, he had turned down an alleyway, the way he always did before telleporting back to the North Pole in a shower of silver specks. A voice stopped him that night, though.  
  
it questioned, which made the elf turn around. The other walked quickly towards him. Or should I say Bernard? He tilted his head back a little, letting the light shine on it so that Perrin's sneer was visible. Bernard felt the rage of betrayal build up inside him, eyes glazing over with red.  
  
he seethed, face twisting into a snarl. Without warning, he leapt forward and wrapped his hands around the elf's neck. Perrin's hood fell back to reveal a surprised face, fear flickering in his blue eyes. You came to the North Pole working for them?! DON'T YOU REALIZE HOW INNOCENT THEY ALL ARE?! YOU CAME WANTING TO DESTROY THEM?! HOW DARE YOU?!  
  
Perrin barely managed two words. I... didn't... Bernard's face fell and he let his hands drop.  
  
What do you mean? he growled, hands visibly twitching to let Perrin know he wouldn't hesitate to use Dark Elf Magic.  
  
Grey Elf... Perrin rubbed his neck. Bernard's eyes widened in surprise. For a brief moment, he wondered if this was just a trick to gain Bernard's trust.  
  
I didn't know there were any others... he gaped, but Perrin smiled at him.  
  
I'm sorry... I thought you were the one who was going to destroy the North Pole. I've been a Grey Elf for four years, and I was just recently premoted to a North Pole Grey Elf so that I could make sure no Dark Elves were there, suddenly, Perrin didn't seem quite so horrid anymore. It was kind of funny... I'd see them all glare at me, so I'd think to myself, Here I am risking my life for them and this is my repayment?!' It's really is funny when you think about it.  
  
I always wondered why you didn't seem to care... Bernard had replied, and the two had exchanged small laughs.   
  
Bernard snapped out of his memories, only to realize the Dark One was explaining some plan to the lower members. He turned his shadowed face and was greeted by shining, blue eyes next to him. A small smile crept onto his lips, for ever since he had truly met Perrin, he hadn't felt so alone.  
  
He suddenly felt guilty, as he had many times before, for betraying Curtis. Now, it was Perrin he told his troubles too... yet at the same time, it was because they shared each other's pain. If he told Curtis, the young elf was liable to attempt to become a Grey Elf, and in the end, would probably wind up dead. Bernard pictured Curtis in a black cloak, hood falling back to reveal a frightened face as he pressed his back up against the wall, four shadowed figures approaching him with red sparks dancing in their hands.  
  
Bernard imediately shook the thought away just in time to avoid Curtis's scream. No, he definately wouldn't tell the Second-In-Command. Not now, at least.   
  
You all remember the day you were joined? the Dark One was addressing them all, and Bernard nodded, focusing his attention back on his master. Well, tonight, we have someone new. Bernard hated hearing those words. He despised thinking about some elf who thought they hated Christmas be forever binded to the Dark one, forced into a deeper hate than they had ever imagined. He was rather used to it, though. He could do nothing to prevent his eyes glazing over red and his hands beginning to twitch with power.  
  
And suddenly, he saw who it was. Jacey stood there, her green eyes defiant and fists clenched at her sides as she faced the Dark One.  
  
So, you wish to become a Dark Elf? he cackled, to which Jacey nodded, her shoulder-length, red hair whirling around her face as she did. She was only a bit younger than Bernard, and he remembered her well from before. She was always laughing, always smiling, always beautiful... Bernard hated to think she was throwing that all away for this when she didn't even understand what she was getting herself into. The Dark One just smiled even more.  
  
Dark Elves, he commanded. Jacey's face suddenly twisted in fear as every Dark Elf raised their palms to her, red sparks dancing from them. Bernard exchanged glances with Perrin, and he could tell Perrin wasn't any happier about this than him. Bind her. Red streams of light encircled Jacey, making her scream in pain. A red aura built around her and she was raised off the ground, quivering under the horrible torture. Many of the Dark Elves were laughing, and Bernard found himself wanting to kill them all.   
  
RELEASE HER! the Dark One cried, and everyone dropped their hands, making Jacey fall to the ground. Still shaking visibly, she slowly pushed herself up onto her hands to meet the Dark One's eyes. Tear streaks were visible down her cheeks, but her jaw was set and eyes still flickered. When the Dark One lifted his hand, she merely closed her eyes and braced herself.  
  
A silver hand of energy flew from the Dark One's palm. It fastened itself painfully to the middle of her chest. Jacey whimpered in pain, tears still running down her face, but she didn't give in. When the hand finally pulled away, everyone saw the sign of Agurakki before it burried itself beneath her shirt, a permenant tattoo of who she was, the Kurai. Bernard felt his own hand raise to his chest and saw Perrin do the same. Jacey lay bleeding on the ground shoulders shaking in silent sobs, body shaking in pain.   
  
This Gathering is dismissed, the Dark One's laughs echoed through all their minds, and every Dark Elf departed imediately. Perrin and Bernard walked away together, but quickly doubled back once everyone was gone. They ran to Jacey, trying to force herself to her feet but failing horribly.  
  
Oh Jacey! Bernard embraced the small girl and she cried into his shoulder.  
  
Bernard... I didn't know it was like that... she managed through sobs. Slowly, she pulled herself back and placed her own hand where Bernard's Kurai was. You... you went through... the same thing? Bernard nodded, and she looked up at Perrin, who told her yes as well. Her eyes welled up with tears and she burried her face into Bernard's cloak again. A few seconds later, she slipped into unconciousness. Sighing, Bernard scooped her up gently in his arms.   
  
Together, he and Perrin made their way into a back alley, the same one they always did. They took off their own black cloaks and then removed Jacey's. Bernard sighed heavily and his eyes flickered to where Jacey's Kurai lay burried beneath her clothes.  
  
Let's just be glad a girl like her is just a Grey Elf, Perrin, for once, sounded optimistic.  
  
I couldn't ever imagine Jacey a Dark Elf... Bernard shuddered when he tried. Then, his eyes rested on her face again. He felt Perrin's comforting hand on his shoulder  
  
Let's return to the light, Perrin smiled softly, brushing an escaped, red lock from Jacey's face. Then, the three of them vanished, reappearing only to meet the expecting and concerned face of the fourth Grey Elf, Kae.  
  
~*~  
  
Jacey lay in Bernard's bed, a cold washcloth on her forehead, the color slowly returning to her pale face.  
  
How come she didn't tell anyone?! Bernard demanded. He sat with the two other Grey Elves in his private room of the North Pole, yet another perk of his seniority. Perrin and Kae exchanged worried glances and then sighed.  
  
She did... just not you, Kae replied.  
  
Bernard cried in rage, standing up so abruptly that his chair fell over. SHE WASN'T READY! SHE SHOULD HAVE HAD MORE TRAINING! IF SHE HAD TOLD ME OR IF ONE OF YOU HAD, I COULD'VE STOPPED HER!  
  
That's why she didn't tell you, blockhead! Kae replied, rolling her eyes. Can't you connect the dots?! Bernard had grown rather used to Kae's usual insults. She had grown up in the city and was actually pretty handy in bad situations. She had dark blue eyes, easily mistaken as black. Her hair was cropped short, bangs hanging in her eyes no matter how many times she brushed them to the side. She was rather pretty, actually. She was definately a rebel, though. She wore a black shirt that cut off above her navel, and had made it jaggedly sleeveless, grey sleeves coming out from under it and navy, baggy pants hanging low on her hips. She had been training for almost two years now, and that New Years, she too would take up her role as Grey Elf.   
  
But she's been training for even less time than you, Kae! You won't even let yourself become a Dark Elf until at least two years of practice! Bernard protested.  
  
Okay Bernard, fine! Lets just go find the mirror that will take us back in time and ask her to please stop, she stood up and whacked Bernard over the back of the head (OW!). I mean, shyte, what do you want us to do?! It's done and over with... GIVE IT UP! She flopped back down in her chair, crossing her arms and legs. Perrin was trying very hard (and failing, I might add) not to crack up. Bernard was glaring at them both.  
  
The world is against me! Bernard flailed his arms, making Perrin explode in laughter, unable to contain it any longer. I mean... if she was really so set in it, I wouldn't have been able to stop her, would I?!  
  
Bernard, if I told you, you'd have me tied to a chair with three guards around me and seven at each exit, Kae started laughing hysterically as Jacey stumbled across the room and joined their circle.  
  
Shut up! Bernard grumbled, making them all laugh. Not much later, Jacey and Kae stood up, stretching.  
  
Alright, we better be gettin' home... see ya' soon! Kae smiled at them before putting her arm around Jacey and dissapearing.   
  
Yeah, I'm hitting the sack... night Bernard, Perrin yawned, stood up and left the room. Bernard found himself smiling even after his friends had dissapeared. He loved knowing he wasn't alone anymore.  
  
A sudden pain in his chest quickly ended his happiness. Leave it to a summon to ruin the mood!  
  
~*~  
  
the Dark One stood up as he adressed Bernard, making the elf bow down on one knee.   
  
What can I do for you, master? Bernard felt his eyes turning red. When that happened, he always felt like he had suddenly become 712 instead of Bernard.  
  
I would like you to have Mr. and Mrs. Danigan dead by tonight as well as anyone in the house at the time, he ordered.  
  
Yes Master, 712 replied, bowing his head again and vanishing. Moments later, he reappeared in front of a large mansion. Suddenly, he felt himself focus on nothing but the deaths of those innocents. Without hesitation, he walked to the door and placed his hands on it. In seconds, it had shattered into thousands of splinters. Smiling to himself, 712 walked into the house and up the stairs. He could hear everyone in one room, laughing and talking. He didn't even think of the innocent lives he was about to destroy. Instead, he placed his hands on the double doors and sent them splintering as well.  
  
DEAR GOD! a woman screamed, hurling her wine glass at him. With a simple flick of his wrist, Bernard smashed it in thin air. Then, he raised his hands as red sparks began to fly.  
  
Moments later, Bernard left the house, everyone inside the room dead on the floor.  
  
~*~  
  
Oh... Bernard, he was greeted as he walked into room 7431 on the fourth floor of the North Pole, a room reserved for Special Business. Only Bernard and Perrin knew what it truly was.   
  
Evening Ron, Christy, Ian, he nodded at the three as they set their poker cards down and pulled out pen and paper. Bernard sat down, rubbing his forehead.  
  
So, what happened tonight? Ian asked.  
  
I killed the Danigans, he replied and Ron whistled.  
  
What is the Dark One doin' to ya?! That two murders in five days! he meant it sympathetically, Bernard knew. The three before him were also Grey Elves. He reported every murder to them, while Perrin reported everything he stole and all information he had to tell the Dark One.  
  
Well, you want a cocoa or something? Christy motioned towards the steaming mug next to her.  
  
Naw, I think I'm gonna turn in, Bernard replied. I still have to pretend I'm someone I'm not tomorrow... as usual...  
  
Go to bed, Ian told him sympethetically as Bernard leaned his head back, one hand over his eyes as he rubbed them.  
  
Why in Gods name am I the fucking Head Elf? he grumbled, which made Christy laugh.  
  
Its hysterical to see you around us and compare it to when you're around everyone else, she smiled at him.  
  
Thanks, glad you enjoy it, Bernard eyed her darkly, making her giggle. Then, he stood up, stretched, and headed back to his room.  
  
~*~  
  
Bernard and Curtis circled the sleigh one last time before Scott came bounding out.  
  
Merry Christmas! he called, waving to them as he took off. Bernard and Curtis waved back.  
  
A Merry Christmas indeed... Bernard watched the sleigh dissaper, smiling.   
  
he heard his name called and turned around to meet Perrin.  
  
What do _you_ want?! Curtis growled. Bernard made himself look bored and uninterested, as he and Perrin had agreed to still pretend to hate each other except if it was important.  
  
No, not now! aparently, this was important. COME ON! Perrin grabbed Bernard arm and hauled him into a corner. Curtis watched the two, a bit surprised. Suddenly, he saw Bernard's eyes widen.  
  
WHAT THE H- he was cut off quickly by Perrin whacking him over the back of the head.  
  
Shut up, will you?! he growled.  
  
Kae is joining on New Years... seven days... one week... Bernard didn't want to believe it. Then, he rubbed the back of his head in annoyment. Ya know, between you and Kae, I'm going to form a permanent lump there! Then, he turned around and walked back over to Curtis.  
  
What was tha-  
  
Don't ask, was Bernard's only reply.  
  
~*~  
  
... and on behalf of another succesful Christmas, here's the Big Guy! Bernard stepped away from away from the balcony as Scott stepped up. He eyed his watch.  
  
Two hours... he thought to himself. It was amazing how fast the week had gone by when he didn't want it to. Scott began rambling about how proud he was of them all. Curtis turned bright red when he was thanked, the way he did every year.  
  
...and for once again making sure Christmas went exactly as planned, I would like to specially thank our Head Elf Bernard! everyone burst into applause and Bernard felt guilt wash over him. If only they all knew he wasn't just Head Elf Bernard...  
  
He was Second Assasin 712.  
  
He smiled brightly and nodded in thanks to them as best he could. Curtis and Judy were waving energetically at him. The three were close friends, but it pained him to know he was always lying to them, every word he said and every smile he faked. Then, he looked over to where Perrin was standing. At least he had someone to share his pain with.  
  
WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT?! HE'S MY ARCH ENEMY! Bernard tried to tell himself, but it didn't work. Instead, he focused on Santa's speech, only to find it had just ended. As he did every year, he hugged Scott and waved good-bye before sprinting down the stairs to meet his friends. He knealt down to their size, nodding to both of them in greeting. Judy had tears in her eyes.  
  
I hate it when Christmas ends! she groaned pitifully. We all see fireworks for New Years and then we all just... LEAVE!  
  
Well don't worry! We'll all be back in September! Bernard tried to cheer her up, smiling as she wiped her tears.  
  
Yeah... besides, we'll see each other before then! Curtis assurred her.  
  
Well, we better, because I don't know that I can stand being away from you guys for eight months! Judy told them, making all three laugh.   
  
You're both coming to Fire Works, right? she asked, to which Curtis nodded and Bernard sighed.  
  
No, sorry... he replied, making Judy gasp sadly and lower her head. A minute later, she raised it again.  
  
Well then, I guess this is good-bye... For a minute, they just stood looking at each other. Then, Judy's eyes filled with tears again.  
  
Oh come here! she threw her arms around Bernard's neck and hugged him tightly, and he hugged the young girl back. Curtis laughed and placed his hand on Bernard's shoulder  
  
I don't deserve friends like this, Bernard silently thanked his lucky stars. Judy released him and he stood up.   
  
Well, see you all soon! Bernard waved at them, and after they both exchanged good-byes, the two, childlike elves vanished in a puff of silver specs. Bernard watched the glittery pieces float to the ground, instantly dissapearing when they hit it.  
  
Hey Bernard, he turned around to see Perrin. Suddenly, a pain in both their chests made them cry out in unison.  
  
Damn summons! he cursed, to which Perrin nodded in agreement. Then, they both telleported to where the Dark One was waiting.  
  
It was horrible to know that in that fateful night, while all the other elves were laughing, Bernard, Perrin, and Jacey would be forced to help torture Kae. After a speech of what they had acomplished that year, Kae was brought into view. Perrin and Bernard imediately exchanged glances, then looked down at the shadowed face of Jacey between them. Bernard nudged her as a way to comfort him, and she moved closer to her elvish friend.  
  
Do you wish to become a Dark Elf? the Dark One smiled hungrily at her, not exactly a comforting smile. Kae looked just as rebelious as usual, and nodded in stiffened resolve.   
  
Bernard found himself silently praying for her. He was surprised when he felt Jacey slip her hand into his, begging to be comforted.   
  
Dark Elves, releasing Jacey's hand, Bernard raised both his palms. A picture of Kae's smiling face flashed through his mind only to be replaced a moment later by her screams of pain and anguish. Her face was twisted in agony as she was raised off the ground. Bernard thought he heard Jacey sob a few times. He looked at the Dark One, who was laughing.   
  
he cursed under his breath. He found himself thanking the stars for a second time that night when Kae was released. To his surprise, the defiant girl stood up on shaking legs, facing the Dark One with fierce eyes despite her state. It surprised him how much stronger she was than Jacey. She waited for the Kurai, not even a hint of fear on her flawless face. She was truly amazing.  
  
~*~  
  
Curtis and Judy sat next to each other on the snow with the thousands of other elves. Everyone was drinking cocoa by the gallons, anxiously awaiting the fireworks, which would be set off at exactly midnight. In their happiness, they didn't know of Bernard's pain for his friend. They didn't share the utter loathing for the Dark One that he did. They knew nothing but laughter as the clock struck midnight.  
  
And as the first firework exploded into the sky, a silver hand burried itself deep into Kae's chest, forever robbing her of her soul.  
  
~*~  


Say a prayer for me, cause I can barely breath,  
I'm suffering, and I can't take it.  
Because of me, no one will ever see,   
This side of me, if I don't make it.  
  
It's like I can't wake up,   
It's like I cant get up.  
It's like I can't remember,  
Who I used to be,  
  
Am I running from you,   
Or am I running from me?  
  
It's like I can't wake up,   
It's like I cant get up.  
It's like I can't remember,  
Who I used to be,  
  
Am I running from you,   
Or am I running from me?  
  
Clear a path for me, because I can barely see,  
I'm stumbling, and I can't shake it.  
It's up to me, to save myself from me,   
My enemy, but I can't face it.  
  
It's like I can't wake up,   
It's like I cant get up.  
It's like I can't remember,  
Who I used to be,  
  
Am I running from you,   
Or am I running from me?  
  
It's like I can't wake up,   
It's like I cant get up.  
It's like I can't remember,  
Who I used to be,  
  
Am I running from you,   
Or am I running from me?  
  
I'm breaking out.  
Here I come, here I come, here I come  
Can't, wake, up, cause I'm not around,  
  
Am I running from you,  
Or am I running from me?  
  
It's like I can't wake up,   
It's like I cant get up,  
It's like I can't remember,   
Who I used to be.  
  
Am I running from you?  
Can't face myself, I'm just left with the suffering.  
  


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
A/N: I'm working VERY hard on trying to keep Bernard the same character he is in the movie. I was reading over it when I came to the f***ing Head Elf part and I was imagining from the movie when Bernard says: ...and whatever you do, don't mention the word plastic'. Thank you! I started cracking up soooo hard... poor Bernard!!


	3. All The Things She Said

A/N: Okay, now I'm happy ^_^ Lots of stuff happens this chapter, so pay attention!!!! Sheesh, I feel like a teacher.... oh well, read and enjoy!!!... and **review**!!!   
  
2nd A/N: BTW, of course I've been imagining my characters, so I must tell you all this: I will have my drawings of Kae and Jacey posted soon, I really hope you all know what Bernard looks like, and Perrin is supposed to look like Elijah Wood... as I write this, I'm looking at the picture on the cover of my Your Magazine'... thats what he's supposed to look like! Shadowed eyes, pale skin, dark hair and bright blue eyes... you'll get it if you look at it,so I'll probably scan it! It is EXACTLY what Perrin looks like *nods*. I'm hoping you know who Elijah Wood is, and if not, he's the guy who plays Frodo in Lord of the Rings' except Perrin's hair isn't curly!**  
**

  
**All The Things She Said  
chapter 2  
  
T.A.T.U. - All The Things She Said  
  
**All the things she said, all the things she said,  
Running through my head, running through my head,   
Running through my head.  
All the things she said, all the things she said.  
Running through my head, running through my head,  
All the things she said.  
This is not enough.  
  
I'm in serious shit, I feel totally lost,  
If I'm asking for help it's only because,  
Being with you has opened my eyes,  
Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise?  
  
I keep asking myself, wondering how,  
I keep closing my eyes but I can't block you out,  
Wanna fly to a place where it's just you and me,  
Nobody else so we can be free.  
  
Nobody else, so we can be free.  
  
All the things she said, all the things she said,  
Running through my head, running through my head,   
Running through my head.  
All the things she said, all the things she said.  
Running through my head, running through my head,  
All the things she said.  
This is not enough.  
This is not enough.  
  
All the things she said.  
All the things she said.  
  
And I'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed,  
They say it's my fault but I want her so much,  
Wanna fly her away where the sun and rain,  
Come in over my face, wash away all the shame.  
When they stop and stare, don't worry me,  
Cause I'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me,  
I can try to pretend, I can try to forget,  
But it's driving me mad, going out of my head.  
  
All the things she said, all the things she said,  
Running through my head, running through my head,   
Running through my head.  
All the things she said, all the things she said,  
Running through my head, running through my head,  
All the things she said.  
This is not enough.  
This is not enough.   
  
All the things she said, all the things she said.  
All the things she said, all the things she said.  
All the things she said, all the things she said.  
All the things she said, all the things she said.  
All the things she said, all the things she said.  
All the things she said.  
  
Mother looking at me   
Tell me what do you see?   
Yes, I've lost my mind   
  
Daddy looking at me   
Will I ever be free?   
Have I crossed the line?   
  
All the things she said, all the things she said,  
Running through my head, running through my head,   
Running through my head.  
All the things she said, all the things she said,  
Running through my head, running through my head,  
All the things she said.  
This is not enough.  
This is not enough.  
  
All the things she said, all the things she said.  
All the things she said, all the things she said.  
All the things she said, all the things she said.  
  


~*~  
  
Kae was dreaming... that little she knew. Her dream was strange, though. It was a dark night, one without stars or moon, in a seeminly diserted city that would give almost anyone the creeps. In the middle of the street, she saw Bernard lying on his back, eyes closed, and a ghostly looking aura around him. Then, her vision switched to a different part of the city, where she saw Bernard standing in the middle of a different street, Perrin and Jacey behind him on either side. Somehow, she understood that these were Bernard's two sides. The one lying down was 712. The one standing up, staring into the darkness with the other two Grey Elves was the North Pole Bernard.   
  
Her vision switched back to 712, right up next to his face. His eyes were moving rapidly behind closed lids. Suddenly, the image of a cloaked Dark Elf flashed through her mind before she saw 712's eyes snap open. The image backed away from 712 quickly as he stared into the darkness, different images of Bernard jumping into the air and screaming in fury cutting in every now and then.  
  
Slowly, the cutting images subsiding, 712 sat up and looked around. For a moment, he seemed puzzled, but then it was as if he understood. The vision changed to Bernard, who was landing on the ground from his jump. Just as he stood back up to his full height, it switched back to 712 now standing in the street. He seemed afraid, yet somehow knowing. He looked around before walking away from the center, and Bernard was now crying out to the darkness from his part of the city. Suddenly, Kae saw many people walking through the city, all of them looking like punks and goths, the kind that young children shyed away from in fear.  
  
Like her.  
  
They were all walking to certain places, and Dark Elf cloaks were hung everywhere. Strangely, though, the cloak was more like a mask. It had the hood so it covered their faces and it had fabric around the neck, but that was it. She saw a girl with blonde, spiked up hair take her cloak and pull it on.   
  
The vision would switch back and forth between Bernard, still calling out, and people sprinting somewhere. Kae got the feeling they were all running towards Bernard.   
  
Sure enough, all the people made a large circle around Bernard, Perrin, and Jacey. It was as if Bernard was trying to tell them all something, but he was drowned out by their cheering and heavy-metal type music that had been growing steadily louder throughout the dream.  
  
712, on the other hand, was moving slowly from between two, tall buildings. He seemed in slow motion as he jerked his head around, his hair flying wildly with him. He was looking at two, elderly, professional looking men. Suddenly, in a flash of black, he saw them in Dark Elf cloaks. He shut his eyes and looked at them again only to find normal men.  
  
As for Bernard, more people were still joining. It was as if his call had summoned them all. Everyone would find their black cloak somewhere in the city and then sprint to Bernard's every growing circle.  
  
And suddenly, Kae saw something she didn't expect. She saw 712 walk amongst the others and pull on his own Dark Elf cloak.   
  
As he pulled it on, the clouds above them began swirling horribly, darkening the sky further. In the street walked four cloaked figures, and if Kae could've gasped, she would have. Even with the cloaks on, she recognized them as 712, Perrin's other side 971, Jacey's other side 4039, and her own Dark Elf side, 4041. It was their other sides... their Dark Elf sides.  
  
In an explosion of water, rain soaked Bernard, Jacey and Perrin in the center of the crowd. Kae was almost surprised not to see herself with them.  
  
All of them called out in the rain, everyone around them cheering. 712, 971, 4039, and 4041 joined the back of the crowd, slowly pushing their way to the front. It was strange that the rain only fell on Bernard, Perrin, and Jacey, leaving everyone else dry.   
  
And suddenly, the four Dark Elves reached the front. Bernard's attention turned to 712, seeming to recognize him. 712 pulled off the hood to reveal his truly shocked face. Kae saw in the background Perrin back away as 971's hood fell, and Jacey's face twisted in horror as she covered her mouth with her hands at the revelation of 4039. Kae saw 4041 remove her own mask and she locked eyes with her other side.   
  
And there they all stood, their White Elf sides soaked through and through, their Dark Elf sides dry. They stared at each other a moment before Kae looked to Bernard. She knew the look in his eyes. He wanted to run... oh she knew how badly he wanted to run, but he couldn't. None of them could.  
  
There was nowhere to run.  
  
Suddenly, her vision shot towards Bernard and straight into his left eye before backing away just as quickly from 712 lying on the ground in the middle of the street just like the beginning. 712 shut his eyes and everything faded away.  
  
~*~  
  
Kae opened her dark eyes and tried to focus on the room. Slowly, Bernard swam into view. She became aware of the blanket tucked under her chin as she lay on her side, and of Bernard's hand resting on her covered shoulder. Slowly, she began to make out the image of Perrin with his arm around Jacey comfortingly behind Bernard, and she began to feel the cool, damp cloth on her forehead.  
  
Are you... allright? Jacey asked hopefully, walked forward with her hands clasped.  
  
I've been better... Kae groaned, way better...! Jacey seemed almost relieved, but her eyes brimmed with tears.  
  
OH KAE! she collapsed on top of the girl, arms thrown around Kae's neck, sobbing. How... how were able to stand?! You're so much more powerful than I am... I should have trained longer...  
  
Wah! Get of me will ya? Kae cried, making Bernard and Perrin burst out laughing, and Kae's glaring at them didn't help.  
  
I'm sorry... but how... I... it's just... KAE! Jacey continued wailing.  
  
Kae to Jacey, LET ME GO NOW! Kae tried desperately to push Jacey off her.  
  
So touching... Perrin wiped away imaginary tears, making Bernard howl with laughter. Kae, on the other hand, had managed to slip mostly away from Jacey. The red-head was clinging to Kae's arm, which Kae was shaking furiously.  
  
Jacey, get OFF of me! her voice was practically a shriek. UGH! BERNARD... PERRIN... CAN'T SOMEONE GET HER OFF ME?! Finally, Kae managed to slip her arm away, and Jacey suddenly fell to the floor and clung to Bernard's ankle. The Head Elf cried out and jumped into the air, shaking his leg.  
  
Think it's funny now?! Actually, that is really funny... Kae started laughing, and Perrin was leaning on the wall for support, holding his stomach.  
  
IT'S NOT THAT FUNNY! Bernard cried.   
  
Oh, I should have trained longer... and listened to you... Jacey was a wreck.  
  
EVERYONE JUST CALM DOWN, WILL YA?! JACEY, IT'S NOT THAT UPSETTING! PERRIN, IT'S NOT THAT FUNNY! (Perrin laughed even harder) KAE... well... GET HER OFF ME!   
  
In truth, it wasn't that funny, but when you lived a life as dark as they did, it was strange how things that weren't really that funny could suddenly become hysterical. Unfortunately, their rare moment of happiness was ended abruptly as they all cried out in pain, each of them slapping a hand to their chest.  
  
WHAT THE HELL?! Kae cried.  
  
Summon... a damn summon... Perrin growled.   
  
Will the Dark One get mad if I get summoned and I've had a few drinks? Jacey asked innocently.  
  
A few? Kae raised an eyebrow, and then they all dissapered in a shower of silver.  
  
~*~  
  
D.E.-712. D.E.-971, Bernard could feel his eyes begin to glow red as his second side was adressed. He and Perrin bowed on one knee, their heads tipped down.  
  
Yes sir? they replied in almost perfect unison.   
  
I understand we have two new members, the Dark One continued. 712, I would like you to train them. 971, I would like you to supervise.  
  
Yes sir, they both bowed their heads again and rose to their feet.  
  
I would like you to begin by taking them to a raid, his lips twisted into a horrid smile. Kae realized she was clenching and unclenching her fists and Jacey found she couldn't move. Bernard and Perrin, however, were far too used to what had originally made their insides run cold. Both of them bowed their heads again, rose to their feet and left the cavern, Kae and Jacey right at their heels.  
  
~*~  
  
So... what is a raid? Kae asked. They were all standing in a clump of trees in a park. The moon had abandoned the night and the stars didn't seem to shine at all.   
  
You'll find out... Perrin seemed not to like the thought of it, though. Bernard was surprised to find himself shaking. It was strange... he'd murdered so many, yet he could never get used to the screams, or their faces pleading, the horrible hate flickering in their eyes. He often found himself wishing he had just stayed a normal elf.  
  
But he never could have been a normal elf anyway. He was exposed to Dark Elf Magic when it killed his parents... no, he couldn't have been a normal elf. At least he could try and help the world with what he was doing. Yet at the same time, it bothered him to think he'd killed so many innocents... were all their lives really worth this single cause?  
  
It had to be.  
  
Suddenly, they saw red sparks shoot up from somewhere deeper into the forest. Bernard held out his hands, his palms upwards, and closed his eyes. Red sparks danced in his palms. Suddenly, they consumed him, spinning around him like a tornado. Then, in a flash of red, they became his black, Dark Elf cloak. Perrin followed suit while Kae and Jacey exchanged glances. Kae soon tried it and found herself dressed as Dark Elf. All eyes turned to Jacey.  
  
Here goes nothing... she held her palms and red sparks began dancing in them. Sure enough, there was a flash of red, but she didn't quite get the result she wanted.  
  
Everyone burst out laughing. Jacey's cloak had appeared on her backwards with the hood covering her face. She was stumbling around, her arms flailing, and hitting several trees.  
  
Jacey... just how many drinks... did you... really have? Kae asked between laughs.  
  
No comment, came Jacey's muffled reply as she pulled the hood down and turned it the right way. However, the mood was quickly ended when Bernard and Perrin remembered what was ahead. The girls pulled closer together, both of them frightened. Well, Kae wasn't really frightened... she was more curious about what could make Perrin and Bernard shake like that. The walked shoulder to shoulder, visibly shuddering.   
  
They soon came to a clearing, but Bernard held his hand out almost protectively to keep Kae and Jacey from walking out of the trees. He imagined himself trying to hide two elves at the North Pole from something horrid... he had always felt protective over them all. He was quickly reminded that this wasn't the North Pole as Kae pushed his arm back down. He turned to look at her shadowed face and could barely see her eyes flickering beneath the cloud of blackness. Unfortunately, he also saw Jacey clinging to Kae's arm in fear.  
  
Good luck... he told the darkness before turning to face the clearing.   
  
Sure enough, a group of small children came running through, each of them pulling a parent along.  
  
Come on mummy! We have to find the treasure! a little boy cried. Another girl was singing:  
  
Going on a tweasure hunt, X marks de spawt! and was skipping through the grass. Jacey felt her heart lighten to see all these children, so happy...  
  
And then she realized what was going on. All around them, red sparks began to flash in the trees. Fear overtook her and she turned to Bernard, hoping against hope that he wouldn't do the same.  
  
But as Second Assasin, he was the first one to strike.  
  
Jacey's scream was drowned out by the children's screams around them. She watched as Perrin raised his own palms and the sparks began to fly.  
  
Children screamed, trying to run with their parents. Kae found herself letting the deadly red consume several. It burned her, every death making her want to scream. She knew she had to, though.  
  
This is what I trained for... I have to get used to it! she told herself.   
  
Jacey ran through the crowd with much different intentions. She wanted to get away... Jacey coudln't kill! In no time, she found herself facing a mother clinging desperately to her child.  
  
Please... take me... just don't hurt him! she pleaded, tears running down her face.   
  
I... I... Jacey shook her head and tried to focus. She lifted her arms, but she couldn't get anything. She couldn't do this. Feeling defeated, she lowered her arms.  
  
A horrible cry of anger came from the mother as she threw a rock right at Jacey's head. The young elf found herself falling, blood running down her forehead.   
  
She looked up at the woman, who was wound up to throw another rock, the look on her face a mixture of fear and hatred. Jacey held up her hands to stop the woman.  
  
I don't want to hurt you! she cried. Hurry... run... get away! Jacey whispered urgently, nodding her head away from the place. The woman's face fell in shock, and then she bowed her own head. A moment later, she turned to flee...  
  
And ran striaght into a cloaked figure.  
  
Red sparks danced in the palms of the figure as it raised its hands and then smashed them against the woman. She screamed a terrible scream and began to fall, dead before she even hit the ground. Her child slowly sat up, staring into her face with wide, blue eyes. With a gasp, he grabbed her shoulders and tried to shake her.  
  
Momma! MOMMA! his shakes became frantic, tears streaming down his face. Please, wake up! Open your eyes! MOMMA! He collapsed onto his mother's shoulder, hugging her neck, sobbing into her soft clothing. His mother... gone forever. Her eyes were expressionless, nothing behind them. He felt alone... so very alone! She was gone... His eyes red with the tears that were now running down his face, he looked up at the one who had killed his mother. The killer lifted its palms, and the sight of the red sparks made the boy's eyes go wide. He turned to run, but he didn't get far at all.  
  
A red flash lit up the area. For a moment, he was held in mid-air by death's curse, and then he fell to the ground next to his mother, tears still running down his face.  
  
As the red began to die, Jacey looked up at the figure with loathing eyes that quickly widened in shock. Her mouth twisted into a scream that wouldn't come, for in the moment's light, she saw who the killer was.  
  
Bernard.  
  
~*~  
  
All of them sat in the Report Room, telling Christy, Ian, and Ron of the night's events. Kae looked as defiant as ever, for she knew if she didn't kill them, someone else would've. Still, Bernard found himself next to her. He tried to put his arm around her, but she shrugged it off, her eyes on the ground.   
  
Perrin was sitting on a back bench, his arm around Jacey. The red-head had pulled her legs up to her chest, her eyes dull and lifeless. She couldn't believe it... Bernard, of all people! He had killed an innocent mother and child... why?! She grit her teeth in anger, making her body shake, and Perrin shifted his arm farther around her shoulder.  
  
Sounds like a rough night, Christy said with a sigh. Any of you want a drink or something?  
  
I'd love some cocoa, Bernard said gratefully, flopping down into a chair.  
  
With the booze, I'm guessing? Christy laughed, to which Bernard nodded.   
  
HOW DARE YOU?! a sudden voice from the back of the room startled everyone. Jacey was on her feet, fists clenched, tears running down her cheeks and utter hatred in her eyes. You... you killed that mother and child! I WAS RIGHT THERE! HOW COULD YOU?! THEY WERE INNOCENT... THEY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!  
  
Jacey, please... Perrin tried to get her to sit down, but she yanked her arm away from him.  
  
NO! HE'S A MURDERER! HE'S A CRUEL, HEARTLESS MURDERER! she pointed at Bernard, who suddenly felt very sick. It was true, wasn't it... he'd never really though of himself as a murderer. Yet suddenly, he remembered how it felt when he lost his parents... he had been doing that to all these innocents. Bernard slumped down into his chair, and tears began to stream down his face. And before he could do anything to stop it, the memories came rushing back.  
  
~*~  
  
He finally struggled free of the broken boards and ran to where they both lay. The Dark Elves had vanished, leaving his parents dead on the grass. Bernard didn't understand, though...  
  
he shrieked, falling to his knees at her side. He looked at her face, left without color, her eyes lifeless and lips slightly parted, a blade of grass sticking to the side of them. He looked at his father, face still twisted in terror. His father had died trying to protect the family... why had they taken him?! His parents didn't diserve to die! They were good people!  
  
He looked at his father and remembered when they had gone fishing together, laughing in the small boat, lost in their happiness. He remembered camping, smores around the fire, the stories every night. His father would never pick him up again and spin him around, or tell him how proud he was of him, or ruffle his small black locks from under his lopsided beret, or help him reel in fish, or laugh at his jokes. His father... gone...  
  
And his mother. She would never be there to protect him again. She wouldn't take him for walks in the garden, looking wherever he pointed and asked. She wouldn't bake him his favorite dinner, or kiss him goodnight, or pull him close when he was scared. When he was upset, he couldn't bury his face in her dress and feel her place her protecting arms around him. She couldn't ever shelter him from the world again, or read him bedtime stories tell he fell asleep, or sing him sweet songs to cheer him up. She just lay there, limp and lifeless.   
  
they had arrived. One look at his parents told them all they needed to know. Bernard felt hands go around his arms and pull him away.  
  
he cried, trying to take hold of his mother, but her cold fingers slipped through his. He screamed, fighting tooth and nail, biting at the hands that tried to hold him, tears streaming down his face. MOTHER! FATHER! He looked at them, lying with open eyes and cold faces on the ground. Their image blurred through the tears that brimmed in his eyes. Closing them, he jerked his head into the air and screamed for all he was worth.   
  
And that was the last time he ever saw them.  
  
~*~  
  
Bernard let his head fall into his palms, sobbing horribly. He lifted his face a bit and stared with blurry eyes at his hands. With them, he had done to many what had tormented him his whole life. Jacey's words were true: He was nothing but a cruel, heartless murderer.   
  
I'm sorry, Jacey, Bernard slowly raised his head to face the girl, dreading what he had to say next, but we all are.  
  
Jacey's face fell into shock, her fists unclenching. For a moment, she just stood there, blinking at Bernard as a tear ran unchecked down his cheek. Then, clamped her eyes shut and shook her head.   
  
and with that, she fled the room.  
  
Jacey, wait- Bernard started to get up, but Kae pulled him back down. He eyed her quizzically, and for the first time in... well... ever, she looked symathetic.  
  
Now that was something you don't see everyday. A street-elf looking sympathetic. It bugged Bernard.  
  
Listen... I'll go talk to her. It'll all be fine, she smiled at him. Bernard blinked at her a moment before smiling back.  
  
Who are you and what have you done with Kae? she punched his shoulder, making them all laugh. Bernard momentarily forgot about Jacey, who was right outside the door, hugging herself as the tears ran down her face, wondering how they could laugh after what happened. How?  
  
What if she did become like them?  
  
~*~  
  
Kae glanced at her watch, tapping her foot impatiently. It was sunset, sending red and orange light through the forest trees on the mountainside. Not far away was Bernard's house where they were all going to meet for dinner. It had become a tradition to trade of houses and eat with eachother every Thursday. Kae, however, was waiting for Jacey. She was going to talk to her about what she had said to Bernard.  
  
a small voice asked, causing the punk-elf to spin around.  
  
Jacey, how could you do that to him?! she cried, making Jacey flinch. Kae didn't believe in small talk, instead just jumping to the point. Jacey hadn't really expected it so bluntly, but after all, this was Kae. Soon, though, Jacey met Kae's glare. She looked strong, but her voice shook.  
  
He's a murderer...- Kae cut her off.  
  
GET OVER IT! HE HAS TO BE! IF HE BACKS OUT NOW, THE DARK ONE WILL KILL HIM! Kae shouted, anger boiling up inside her. Oh, how she wanted to punch Jacey right then.  
  
Let the Dark One kill him for all I care! Jacey screamed back, her fear of the she-elf in front of her fading.  
  
Do you really want that, Jacey? HUH?! Cause you see, Bernard kills because he's trying to kill the Dark One. Every innocent's life helps him all the more. Should Bernard be killed, every innocent slaughtered by his hands will have died for nothing. He would have killed them and accomplished nothing by it. That's why he can't back out, Jacey! Don't you get it?! Kae understood very well, and the way Jacey's face fell told her the red-head was beginning to understand. Jacey, he wants to run. Look into his eyes and you can tell he does. But he can't... there isn't anywhere he can run! Kae thought back to her dream. It was if that dream had helped her understand. Did you even see how pained his eyes looked when you called him a murderer?! He hates it, but he does it to protect those he loves! He's risking his life for the world!  
  
He didn't even hesitate though... he just... killed them! Jacey protested. Kae clenched her fists. She had had enough.  
  
Kae's cry of anger and Jacey's of fear and pain had every bird within earshot screeching as they fled. Had they looked down, they would have seen Kae holding her fist and Jacey lying on the ground, blood running from her nose as the area darkened, tears in her eyes.  
  
Grow up Jacey. We aren't innocent little elves anymore. Deal with it! and with that, Kae vanished.  
  
Jacey lay on the ground a moment, shaking slightly, staring where Kae had just been. Then, slowly, she raised a hand to her nose. She winced at the touch before pulling away to see deep red liquid on her finger. Her eyes narrowed in anger, though not for Bernard anymore. As she thought about it, she began to understand. No, she wasn't upset with Bernard... but she was racking with anger for someone else now. She had to clench her teeth to keep from screaming in hatred. Instead, she resorted to something else.  
  
she seethed, wiping the blood from her nose and getting to her feet.  
  
~*~  
  
I'm getting worried about Jacey... Bernard said, looking out the window.  
  
I'll alert the media, Kae replied nonchalantly from where she sat on one of the rafters.   
  
Okay Kae, what curse did you use to kill her and where is the body? Perrin asked, making Kae snort.   
  
Kae, I'm serious! What did you do to her? Bernard cried.  
  
I just knocked some sense into her... literally knocked some sense into her, Kae was struggling not to laugh.   
  
How hard did you punch her? Bernard asked. Kae laughed and swung her legs over the rafter before slipping off it and dissapearing, reappearing a moment later standing on the ground. She sighed and leaned against the wall.  
  
she laughed lightly. Pretty damn hard.  
  
Bernard hung his head in frusteration.  
  
You said you were going to help? Perrin raised an eyebrow. Kae grabbed a vase on a nearly table and chucked it at him, making Bernard leap across the room to catch it.  
  
Okay, no throwing breakable stuff! he shouted, so Kae picked up a knife off the table and threw it.   
  
Oh shit, Perrin laughed as he dove to the side, quickly getting back up to dodge a fork. Bernard sighed in defeat as Perrin continued dodging Kae's bombardment of kitchen utensils (A/N: Kitchen Utensil Club, I wrote this scene in thought of you guys!! I almost had Kae and Jacey's fight in the kitchen so that Kae could whack her with a frying pan... ^_^).  
  
Eventually, Perrin found the bathroom door as a very nice shield, which Kae found very hard to break down. Bernard used the as a chance to reset the table. When Kae walked by asking where he kept his saws, he had to make them call a truce though.   
  
I'm guessing Jacey's ditching tonight, Perrin sighed after another ten minutes of waiting.  
  
Great! Let's eat! Kae immediately dove towards the table, soon followed by Perrin. Bernard, with one more glance outside, sat down to join them. Soon, the room shook with their laughter.  
  
Honestly, Kae, you eat like someone's gonna steal it from you! Bernard laughed. Kae paused, met eyes with Bernard, then looked accusingly at Perrin before resuming her feast.  
  
Perrin asked, making Kae choke on her food. All of them had learned it wasn't smart to attempt swallowing and laughing at the same time, as the end result was usually very similar to Kae's hacking coughs as she pounded her chest. That made Perrin and Bernard howl with laughter.  
  
A sudden noise made them all look up, their laughter fading. They then heard the door close and someone take their shoes off before walking into their view.  
  
the girl stood in the doorway, her head tipped down so that her eyes were shadowed underneath her hair. Kae rolled her own eyes and set her food down.  
  
Bernard... I'm sorry... and...- she managed, though it seemed hard. She was clenching and unclenching her fists, as if trying to hold back from something. She was cut off by Kae, though.  
  
God, finally! she cried, exasperated. That did it. Jacey snapped her head up to reveal her eyes, flickering in anger and near-hatred. She suddenly tore forward at the same moment that Kae jumped to her feet in near shock. Jacey leapt clear over the table and slammed against Kae, grabbing her by her shirt, and slammed the punk-elf's back into the wall.   
  
I HATE YOU! Jacey cried.  
  
WHY?! BECAUSE I TOLD YOU THE TRUTH?! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO HATE ME FOR, YOU BITCH! Kae threw Jacey across the room with little effort, but Jacey was back on her feet in no time, launching herself at Kae.  
  
I DON'T CARE! IT'S MURDER ALL THE SAME AND I CAN'T SEE HOW YOU CAN JUST BRUSH IT OFF AS IF IT'S NOTHING! Jacey continued, winding up and attempting to punch Kae. Having grown up in a city where this happened all the time, Kae easily dodged it before grabbing Jacey's arm and slamming her into the ground.   
  
Oh god... Bernard groaned before getting to his feet. Perrin, who was rather shocked and not sure who's side he was on, just sat on the floor feeling useless.   
  
YOU DON'T EVEN CARE WHO BERNARD IS! YOU'RE SO BLINDED BY YOUR LOVE THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN COME TO GRIPS WITH REALITY! DARK ELVES CAN'T LOVE! Kae froze, too shocked to move, and in result recieved a hard punch across her face that knocked her backwards. Jacey dove to hit her again, but Bernard chose that moment to get between them and grabbed Jacey by the shoulders and shoved her backwards. Kae was crouched against the wall behind him, visibly shaking, tears running down her face.   
  
YOU DON'T GET IT, DO YOU BERNARD?! Jacey cried before launching herself at them again. Bernard still shoved at her to keep her back, but it wasn't working. Kae didn't seem able to defend herself, for she just hid behind Bernard, which was very unusual. I'M TRYING TO GET THE POINT ACROSS TO YOU THAT SHE'S READY TO MURDER COUNTLESS INNOCENTS BECUASE OF YOU! SHE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE ELSE, JUST YOU, THE SELFISH BITCH-  
  
Bernard had had enough. Anger and frusteration boiled over, making him do something he never dreamt he would do to a friend.  
  
STOP IT! he leapt forward, his hand outstretched. Jacey's eyes turned from anger to fear for a slipt second before it happened.  
  
WHACK! He struck her across her left cheek with force enough to push her head all the way to the side. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as Jacey fell backwards with her head turned sideways and eyes closed while Bernard fell forward, hand still outstretched on his opposite side. Jacey crashed to the floor where she lay momentarily before propping herself up on one hand.  
  
Jacey looked back up at him from her now-sitting position, her hand on her cheek. Bernard's eyes lost their angry look as if he had suddenly realized what he had just done to her. Sighing heavily, he hung his head before raising it again to meet her's. It was as if Bernard had just admitted it was him, despite the fact that there was no doubt, for Jacey's eyes widened, her lip quivering as her eyes brimmed with tears, before she jerked her head to the side, tilting it just so that she shadowed her eyes as the tears leaked from their corners.   
  
Jacey look... I shouldn't have hit you, but you need to realize something, Bernard spoke affectionately, but it just made more tears stain Jacey's pale cheeks. We are all two-sided here... I truly believe each of us is still innocent, and the murderer is simply our other side. Yet at the same time, they are both still sides of one person, so in truth, all of us are murders. You can't hide from it, Jacey. You will be forced to kill... every murder is hard for me, but it all becomes easier when I'm up in the North Pole. Seeing those shining, innocent faces reminds me what I'm doing this for, and it gives me strength. We all want something to cling to... so that we can fight to protect it. Whether it's something hidden in Kae's past or simply something of her present life, its what she clings to. All of us here are fighting for eachother... we have to, or the murders would drive us insane. Unless you plan on winding up dead, which none of us would let happen, you will have to learn, Jacey. You will have to become a murder...  
  
That's why Bernard wanted you to train longer, Perrin rose to his feet as he joined in, making Jacey snap her emerald eyes up to meet his pools of sapphire. The reason it was easier for Kae is because she trained for two, solid years. Bernard as well, and I trained for three. You didn't even train for a whole year... that was why Bernard was so upset. Its because he fears for you... we all do, Jacey. He smiled at her and Jacey turned her eyes to Bernard. Again they brimmed with tears, but no longer the same kind.   
  
OH BERNARD! she leapt to her feet and burried her face in his shirt, which rather frightened the poor elf and he patted her awkwardly. Perrin crossed the room towards them only to have Jacey whirl around to glare at him.  
  
WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP ME?! DO YOU NOT CARE ABOUT ME?! Perrin knew she was joking... well, halfjoking at least... but found himself wondering if he should tell her the truth.  
  
You guys... um... Kae's gone, Bernard told them. I'm gonna go find her...  
  
Perrin nodded at Bernard and then the elf left the room. Sighing heavily, Perring turned back to face Jacey. He had decided to tell her... He rested his hand gently on her cheek.   
  
I do care about you... more than you know, she smiled at her... not a normal Perrin smile, but rather one she had never seen before.   
  
Jacey was visibly shaking almost unable to believe what she was hearing. She asked a question with only her eyes, to which Perrin replied only with a smile.   
  
You forget... we aren't true Dark Elves, Jacey, suddenly, Jacey's legs collapsed out from underneath her. She fell to her knees, Perrin crouching down with her while laughing. Jacey, on the other hand, was letting out a strange noise like a cross between a gasp and a laugh, staring with wide-eyes at Perrin.  
  
You... you really... Jacey stuttered, tears springing to her eyes. Perrin was laughing and nodding.  
  
Yes, Jacey, yes! he laughed. A huge smile broke out on Jacey's face and she nearly fell forward to embrace Perrin, who only laughed and hugged her back. Then, both of them leaned back, locking eyes. And in those next moments, nothing mattered anymore to either of them except eachother.  
  
~*~  
  
Bernard sighed in relief, seeing her standing outside on his balcony, her hands resting on the railing and looking down at the stream a couple hundred feet below, as she was on the second story and they were on a mountain side. What are you doing out here-?  
  
Don't come near me, Kae cut him off with her command, but Bernard, being Head Elf, was not use to being commanded and didn't listen, but instead stood next to her.  
  
Kae, what's the mat- he suddenly realized the answer to his question.  
  
_YOU DON'T EVEN CARE WHO BERNARD IS! YOU'RE SO BLINDED BY YOUR LOVE THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN COME TO GRIPS WITH REALITY! DARK ELVES CAN'T LOVE!  
  
_Kae... Kae loved him? Was that what it was... was she ashamed of it?  
  
Don't pretend you don't know, Kae replied, and Bernard could have sworn he saw a tear run down her cheek. She's right... dark elves can't love. I gave up my whole life to be near someone who, for once, meant something to me... someone who finally made me feel like I was more than I was. And it blinded me... you're a Dark Elf. You couldn't ever... Kae seemed to collapse at that point, suddenly breaking down into horrible sobs. Shocked as he was from what Kae had said, he was surprised that Kae's crying didn't give him a heart attack.   
  
And then, a thought struck Bernard. She loved him, but did he love her? But Dark Elves couldn't love... was that what Bernard had felt when he was around her. He looked at Kae and thought of the many times he had been around her. She was beautiful, strong, smart, brave...  
  
Bernard... love someone?   
  
You probably hate me now, Kae sobbed into her hands. Bernard put a hand on her back, but she spun her arm around to knock his away and ended up staring up at him, unable to tear her eyes away from his.  
  
Don't you get it, Bernard?! she cried, tears streaming down her face. I love you, okay?! You're the reason I didn't kill myself when I had the chance! You... you're... Kae had lost her strength and had begun shaking again, falling slowly to her knees with her last words, closing her eyes and turning her head to the side as her shoulders shook with silent sobs. You're my whole world.  
  
Bernard crouched down to her level and she looked up at him with fear in her eyes. And they locked eyes, brown and blue, everything else slipping away.  
  
You hate me, don't you? Kae asked, fear ringing in her voice. Niether of them noticed Perrin and Jacey peering around the doorway and exchanging wondering glances. Was it true...?  
  
No, Kae, Bernard smiled at her. It was impossible, yet somehow, he did. He truly did, and he finally realized it. I love you.  
  
And he kissed her.  
  
~*~  
  


All the things she said, all the things she said,  
Running through my head, running through my head,   
Running through my head.  
All the things she said, all the things she said.  
Running through my head, running through my head,  
All the things she said.  
This is not enough.  
  
I'm in serious shit, I feel totally lost,  
If I'm asking for help it's only because,  
Being with you has opened my eyes,  
Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise?  
  
I keep asking myself, wondering how,  
I keep closing my eyes but I can't block you out,  
Wanna fly to a place where it's just you and me,  
Nobody else so we can be free.  
  
Nobody else, so we can be free.  
  
All the things she said, all the things she said,  
Running through my head, running through my head,   
Running through my head.  
All the things she said, all the things she said.  
Running through my head, running through my head,  
All the things she said.  
This is not enough.  
This is not enough.  
  
All the things she said.  
All the things she said.  
  
And I'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed,  
They say it's my fault but I want her so much,  
Wanna fly her away where the sun and rain,  
Come in over my face, wash away all the shame.  
When they stop and stare, don't worry me,  
Cause I'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me,  
I can try to pretend, I can try to forget,  
But it's driving me mad, going out of my head.  
  
All the things she said, all the things she said,  
Running through my head, running through my head,   
Running through my head.  
All the things she said, all the things she said,  
Running through my head, running through my head,  
All the things she said.  
This is not enough.  
This is not enough.   
  
All the things she said, all the things she said.  
All the things she said, all the things she said.  
All the things she said, all the things she said.  
All the things she said, all the things she said.  
All the things she said, all the things she said.  
All the things she said.  
  
Mother looking at me   
Tell me what do you see?   
Yes, I've lost my mind   
  
Daddy looking at me   
Will I ever be free?   
Have I crossed the line?   
  
All the things she said, all the things she said,  
Running through my head, running through my head,   
Running through my head.  
All the things she said, all the things she said,  
Running through my head, running through my head,  
All the things she said.  
This is not enough.  
This is not enough.  
  
All the things she said, all the things she said.  
All the things she said, all the things she said.  
All the things she said, all the things she said.  
  


**------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
**A/N: I love the way this song goes with it... Bernard thinking about what she said, and the mother/father thing being what his parents are thinking about him being a grey elf... anyhoo,** REVIEW**, cuz I'm waiting for at least five before I post the next chap! ^_^ Love ya all *hugs all reviewers*


	4. Alone I Break

A/N: This will be a sad chapter in a funny way.... I did that on purpose, since the next chapter... well... lets just say if you thought the previous chapters were sad, you'll be bawling your eyes out on the next one!!! ^_^ Okay, maybe not bawling, but...  
  
**THE CHARACTER'S PICTURES ARE UP ON MY WEBSITE!!! YOU CAN NOW SEE PERRIN, JACEY, AND KAE!!!!!! **  


http://www.angelfire.com/realm2/fanfiction_aya/NtR.html  


  
Also, read through the song... as always, its what Bernard feels. Think about it.... cause it really makes sense!! ESPECIALLY AFTER YOU READ THE END!!! You all are gonna kill me for the ending to this one...  
  
And now, I have to say thanx to all my reviewers!!!  
  
Autumn Took: Thank you so much for your reviews!! They're always wonderful... THANK YOU!!!!!!! *thanks her 3000 times* I'm gonna go read your fics as soon as I finish this...  
  
Spike's Girl: Sorry the song is stuck in your head ^_~ Oh crud, now its in mine again... That you very much for the review... I'm glad it turned out sad becuz I thought I rushed that part... muchos gracias!!!! I will review your story as well cuz I love Ron and Death Eater fics... and Ron ^_^  
  
Vickietori: I LOVE THE REVIEWS!!!!!!!! A couple people will be tempted to hit you, though, if they think you stole my frying pan... I'd promise to read your fics too but I think I've already read every single one... EXCEPT FATE'S TALE!!!! I WILL GO READ FATE!!!! *runs off to read Fate*  
  
SpellGrrL: Thank you for the one review... Glad to know someone's interested!!!  
  
Horse-girl: Love ya hun!! I'm glad this is one of ur faves... and I would read your fic, but I have no idea what it is ^_^ THANK YOU!!!!!!!  
  
Silent Thunder086: You're always one of the first reviewers for these chapters... muchos muchos muchos gracias!!!! I love your story and thank you for not killing off Bernard... why do I get the feeling you will probably kill me off instead for later chapters... THANKS!!!!  
  
Simoriah: Girl of Summer: Yes, the plastic' part of the movie is one of my fave parts as well ^_^ I hope you get your SC fic up because judging by how good your poem was, the fic would be great... ^_^  
  
Tabbi: I'm sorry I had to do this to Bernard, but I wanted a Bernard angsty fic ^_^ Don't worry, I'm inlove with him too!! I made a section for him on my webpage and put up drawings of him... VickieTori and I fight over him all the time... don't worry, you aren't alone!!!!!!!  
  
MidnightLoner: Thanks... updated already!  
  
Shmeilia Rockie: Glad the prolouge got your attention ^_^ Yes, I know, I'm evil and the fic gets even crueler ^_^ Hope you like it!!  
  
Kriss: Glad you like it so far... as there is more now!!!!!  
  
THANK YOU AGAIN TO ALL OF YOU!!!!!  
  


  
**Alone I Break****  
chapter 3  
  
Korn - Alone I Break  
  
**Pick me up,  
Been bleeding too long,  
Right here, right now,  
I'll stop it some how.  
  
I will make it go away,  
Can't be here no more,  
Seems this is the only way,  
I will soon be gone.  
  
These feelings will be gone,  
These feelings will be gone.  
  
Now I see the times they change,  
Leaving doesn't seems so strange,  
I am hoping I can find,  
Where to leave my hurt behind.  
  
All this shit I seem to take,  
All alone I seem to break,  
I have lived the best I can,  
Does this make me not a man?  
  
Shut me off,  
I am ready,  
Heart stops, I stand alone,  
Can't be on my own.  
  
I will make it go away,  
Can't be here no more,  
Seems this is the only way,  
I will soon be gone.  
  
These feelings will be gone,  
These feelings will be gone.  
  
Now I see the times they change,  
Leaving doesn't seems so strange,  
I am hoping I can find,  
Where to leave my hurt behind.  
  
All this shit I seem to take,  
All alone I seem to break,  
I have lived the best I can,  
Does this make me not a man?  
  
Am I going to leave this place?  
What is it I'm hanging from?   
Is there nothing more to come?   
Am I Gunna leave this place?  
  
Is it always black in space?  
Am I going to take it's place?  
Am I going to leave this race?  
Am I going to leave this race?  
  
I guess God's up in this place?  
What is it that I've become?  
Is there something more to come?   
More to come?  
  
Now I see the times they change,  
Leaving doesn't seems so strange,  
I am hoping I can find,  
Where to leave my hurt behind.  
  
All this shit I seem to take,  
All alone I seem to break,  
I have lived the best I can,  
Does this make me not a man?  
  
Now I see the times they change,  
Leaving doesn't seems so strange,  
I am hoping I can find,  
Where to leave my hurt behind.  
  
All this shit I seem to take,  
All alone I seem to break,  
I have lived the best I can,  
Does this make me not a man?  
  


~*~  
  
Jacey embraced the Head Elf, crushing him in a giant bear hug. She soon stepped back to meet Bernard's shocked face before he shook his head in disbelief. Perrin just laughed.   
  
She's been this way since the night Perrin explained to which Bernard had to force a laugh before resuming biting his lip nervously. He had invited the Grey Elves up for an afternoon in the North Pole. Kae usually loved it there... Perrin and Jacey exchanged knowing glances. They knew the risk Bernard had taken.  
  
They both remembered that night, which was now called the night to marks its significance. They remembered seeing Kae crying on her knees, Bernard's face inches from hers. They clearly remembered when Bernard had told her he loved her before kissing her... the image of Kae would be impossible to burn from their minds. She had gasped and jumped backwards a bit, but Bernard didn't seem to notice, for he had kissed her. They remembered the shocked look on Kae's face as she stared ahead with wide eyes. Slowly, her eyes had begun to close and she finally kissed him back.  
  
But more than ever, they would never forget that when the two finally moved apart, Kae had burst out sobbing and burried her face in Bernard's shoulder. And when he had put a comforting hand on her back, she had suddenly pushed herself away from him, spinning around as she got to her feet and dissapearing in a shower of silver sparkles mid-spin.  
  
I'm here! a voice sang, making them all spin around to see Kae.  
  
YOU'RE LATE! Jacey thundered.  
  
Oh come on... I'm only... she glanced at her watch, three minutes late! Besides, we still have to wait for the boys- She suddenly caught sight of Bernard and Perrin before her eyes narrowed. They both sneered at her before laughing. Oh fuck you too!  
  
they all spun around to see a tiny elf sprinting across the grounds. Before they could even blink, she had thrown herself around Bernard's middle, knocking him to the ground.  
  
Sheesh! Miss me that much Abbey?! Bernard laughed as the she-elf jumped to her feet, smiling at him.  
  
Well I... actually, all of us, especially Curtis and Judy... have been worried about you, she admitted.  
  
Bernard asked, straightening his beret as he stood up.  
  
Well, you weren't at Fireworks and some of the elves saw you and Perrin both cry out and dissapear... and when we taking your bed apart to clean the sheets, we found blood on them... Bernard looked at Kae with questioning eyes. She nodded slightly and flicked her eyes to her shoulder.  
  
I just... bit my lip... really hard... nightmare, he laughed nervously and Abbey sighed.  
  
suddenly, she began eying him quizically.  
  
  
  
You... look so... different! she was still peering at him. Without your normal clothes on... Bernard looked down before laughing. He realized how different he must look, wearing a dark blue, shortsleeve shirt over a white, longsleeve one and jeans while all the elves were used to him in velvet dress shirts and elf pants.  
  
I'm... uh... getting the clothes cleaned... yeah, Bernard nodded, making Abbey eye him again. Most North Pole elves wore the same type of clothes all year, but now the only thing Bernard was wearing that was even similar to his North Pole attire was his beret with the Head Elf pin on it. Not to mention elven attire didn't ever need cleaning...  
  
Um... alright then... see you around, Bernard! he waved at him before sprinting off. Bernard watched her dissapear around a corner with a smile before suddenly rounding on Kae.  
  
Where in God's name did the blood come from?! he cried. Kae sighed and pulled down the right shoulder of her shirt to reveal a long scar that looked like it had been a scab maybe even the day before.  
  
It ain't easy becoming a Dark Elf, you know... especially when you got dropped right on a rock, she grinned at him. Bernard laughed. Kae didn't seem any different despite the night.   
  
Um... guys, they all looked at Jacey. Perrin and I have an errand to run...  
  
We do?  
  
YES!! You know... the errand I told you about! she glared at him.  
  
Oh... yes, of course, the errand... haha, how stupid of me...   
  
See ya around! Jacey grabbed Perrin's arm and yanked him off. Kae and Bernard watched them dissapear before exchanging glances.  
  
I'll never figure them out, Bernard shook his head.  
  
Why do I have a feeling we weren't alone on the balcony last Thursday? he was a bit surprised that Kae brought it up, but she just smiled at him.   
  
Do you wanna go get some cocoa? he asked and Kae smiled.  
  
Under one condintion.  
  
Kae smiled sympathetically.  
  
I feel really awkward. Let's pretend Thursday never happened, kay? Bernard sighed in relief.  
  
Thank you Kae! he grinned back at her.  
  
Besides, Dark Elves can't love anyway, so lets just say we had a bit too much to drink, this time, he could tell her smile was forced, and he forced his own. However, they were soon walking down the street towards the cocoa shop, talking on and on about whatever popped into their head, laughing with shining eyes.  
  
Yet at the same time, Kae was upset. A part of her had truly been hoping that after she had recited the speech that had taken her all night to make up that Bernard would tell her they couldn't forget... or something cheesy like that. Yet cheesy as it was, a part of her wished Bernard would kiss her again and remind her that he had been completely out of alchohol of any sort that night...  
  
Hi Bernard! the young elf behind the counter chirped and he smiled at her.  
  
Two cups of cocoa, please, he ordered and she smiled. By the way, is Judy here?  
  
No sir, she isn't, the elf replied before scuttling into the back.  
  
Okay, we can stay here, Bernard nodded before laughing at Kae's questioning look. Judy was one of his best friends at the pole. He knew how it would be if she saw him with Perrin as him and Jacey were bound to join them soon...   
  
he whirled around in shock to see Judy and Curtis.   
  
Oh great... that plan really worked!'  
  
Hi guys, he forced a smile, making Kae laugh.  
  
Well, how're you?! AND WHY IN SANTA'S NAME DIDN'T YOU MAKE FIREWORKS! Judy cried. Bernard laughed.  
  
Her fault, he pointed at Kae, who growled and kicked him in the shin, making Bernard cry out and hop up and down on one foot holding his leg.  
  
Oh... you a couple? Curtis asked, making Bernard imediately put his foot down to stop himself from falling over in shock, grabbing his beret to keep it from flying off his head.  
  
Kae and Bernard cried in unison, exchanging glances that read the exact same thing: Are they just guessing or do we need to murder Perrin?  
  
Well... how come we've never met her? Curtis asked, grinning mischeviously.  
  
Because we just met! Kae replied, and Bernard mentaly noted that he should congradulate her acting skills later.  
  
Oh... how? Judy persisted.  
  
Bernard nodded.  
  
Bernard, you work here, Curtis replied and he felt Kae kick the back of his leg threateningly.  
  
We're doing some odd jobs around Earth... extra money for... stuff! Bernard nodded, rather proud of his explanation. Kae just rolled her eyes.  
  
Curtis squinched his nose up. What human would hire you? Kae's jaw dropped, thinking this was an insult. Bernard laughed, knowing he meant Bernard's ears and attire.  
  
Well, I dress well enough like one... Bernard motioned to his clothes, which made both Curtis and Judy's eyes become as wide as saucers, having just noticed.  
  
Besides, we weren't hired by a human. We were hired by an elf, Kae replied.  
  
Curtis and Judy exclaimed at the same time.  
  
Uh... Perrin, Kae shouted the first name that came to mind.  
  
Curtis shouted.  
  
Yeah... oh wait, he works up here, doesn't he? Bernard's jaw dropped. Kae had a mouth on her the size of Indiana!  
  
Suddenly, Bernard had to bit his lip to keep from crying out in pain. He could feel the Kuria beneath his shirt burning like it was on fire.  
  
Sorry... I have to go, he smiled.  
  
the three elves demanded at once.  
  
It's that business I told you about earlier... Bernard stared very pointedly at Kae.  
  
What business?  
  
You know... _the_ business? Bernard couldn't believe Kae had forgotten. How in the name of all that was holy could you forget something like the Dark One and his Kurias?  
  
Oh... oh! with the second oh', her face lit up in realization, her eyes flickering with sympathy. Curtis saw an understanding pass between them and suddenly found himself rather jealous... but with a quick nod, Bernard vanished in a puff of silver.  
  
So... you all work up here too? Kae asked, to which both elves nodded mechanically, still staring where Bernard had just been. Suddenly, Curtis realized that Bernard wasn't there to stop him from sounding rather powerful...  
  
Yes, I'm the second-in-command, only one spot lower than Bernard. Of course, that's understandable, as he is older. Santa still choses me for a lot, though... I guess I'm as powerful as Bernard, but Santa keeps him Head Elf because he's older, Curtis smiled and Judy rolled her eyes. Those two fought about their positions like brothers.  
  
Yes, and I am Head Elf of the females, Judy told the strange elf in front of her. Of course, because those two are so high and mighty, she glared at Curtis, who smiled weakly, I'm simply used for delivering IMPORTANT messages and lifesaving cocoa.  
  
they both suddenly remembered Kae.  
  
What's ironic? Curtis asked, making Kae laugh.  
  
I'm trying to decide who bickers more... you and her, or Bernard and Perrin, Kae replied.  
  
Bernard... and Perrin... they're actually around each other when they aren't at the North Pole? Judy asked, rather curious.  
  
Of course! You should see them some of the times... Perrin and Bernard work together all the time! Kae was completely oblivious to the two dropped jaws in front of her.  
  
Do they... work well together? Curtis swallowed hard.  
  
  
  
Because both of us like tying you to the top of the trees! Perrin had walked into the cafe and upon hearing their conversation had realized how dangerous this was.  
  
You didn't-  
  
The only reason we couldn't get you up there last time is because you gave Bernard a bloody nose!  
  
I didn't-  
  
Hit him that hard? It wouldn't stop bleeding for hours, even when we got back up here! Perrin sneered at her, and Kae was glaring.  
  
Is that why there was blood all over his sheets? Judy asked and Perrin nodded. Kae growled and folded her arms.  
  
Hey... where's Jacey? Kae looked around for the girl.  
  
Window shopping, Perrin groaned. Where's Bernard?  
  
Kae replied shortly, not looking in his direction.  
  
Oh... oh! Perrin was aparently in on it too. Curtis felt himself clenching his fists. Now he was really jealous... not to mention weirded out!  
  
~*~  
  
Bernard! You get in a fight with a lawn mower or something?! Bernard was rather annoyed by this comment as he looked up at Kae, who just smiled at him.  
  
You try three murders in two days! he replied, hanging his head.  
  
Well I have an idea then! Kae cried, looking up the hallway. They had all been waiting at Bernard's house for about an hour ever since they left the North Pole cafe. Once Jacey and Perrin get out of the bedroom...  
  
WE ARE NOT IN THE BEDROOM! they cried in unison from completely different parts of the house.  
  
... we can go out to dinner, it being Thursday an all, she smiled innocently.   
  
Allright Kae, what made you blow up your house this time, Bernard groaned at her, making Kae slink back a ways. Bernard laughed lightly as Kae began her list.  
  
The toilet pipe burst and I came home to a foot of water on the floor, all the food in my fridge is expired, the TV has decided it hates me and will no longer work, a baseball went through me window, the roof was leaking again...  
  
So where're we gonna go? Bernard quickly changed the subject.  
  
Perrin and I saw a nice resteraunt that just opened up in the North Pole! Jacey had joined the room and Perrin had finally come out of the kitchen. I think its French...  
  
Bernard shrugged before smiling. The elves up there always make me happy...  
  
Thanks, love you too! Kae snapped at him before her eyes went wide, face turning bright red. Bernard stared at her in amazement as she laughed nervously.  
  
Come on, Jacey smiled gently at them and with a nod, they all vanished in a shower of silver.  
  
~*~  
  
Oh, hello Curtis! Judy smiled as she opened her door. What brings you here?  
  
was his simple reply. Judy couldn't keep from laughing at his blunt answer.  
  
You still upset? Judy asked.  
  
I used the fire estinguisher three times in a half an hour and blew up a bowl of grapes in the microwave, Curtis replied without missing a beat.  
  
I'll take that as a yes... wait, what in the name of Christmas did you have grapes in the microwave for?! the she-elf cried.  
  
Do you want to go out to dinner with me tonight? Curtis asked, suddenly looking up with hopeful eyes. For a moment, Judy looked shocked, but then her face broke into a warm smile.  
  
I'll get my coat, she beckoned him inside before dashing upstairs. Be right back!  
  
So you'll be back down in an hour or so? Curtis asked, making Judy turn around on the top step and narrow her eyes at him. Then, she laughed again and dissapeared in a whirl of deep brown hair.   
  
Nice decoration, Curtis told himself as he sat down. Comfortable chair... He was trying extremely hard to focus on anything else, but his earlier thoughts somehow managed to creep back into his head.  
  
_You know... the business?  
  
Oh... oh!_  
  
It was as if there was hidden secret that both Bernard and Kae understood... something Bernard was hiding from Curtis. Curtis found himself clenching his fists in fury, thinking about how Bernard didn't even tell it to the one who had been his friend for over seven hundred years, yet he had confided so easily in a girl he had aparently met less than a year ago!  
  
_ I'm trying to decide who bickers more... you and her, or Bernard and Perrin.  
  
Bernard... and Perrin... they're actually around each other when they aren't at the North Pole?   
  
Of course! You should see them some of the times... Perrin and Bernard work together all the time!   
  
Do they... work well together?   
  
_  
  
Imagine, his life-long friend going behind his back and making friends with Curtis's worst enemy. Was Bernard mad at him for something? Or was he just bored of Curtis? Either way, he never though Bernard would sink so low as to get back at Curtis by befriending Perrin. And even as much as he hated that arrogant prat, not even Perrin diserved being used.   
  
Bernard... you bastard, Curtis mumbled slightly to himself just as he heard the light footfall of Judy coming back down the stairs.   
  
Curtis... swearing?! This must be a lot worse than I imagined... and especially if he's calling Bernard that. Those two seem so close... Judy thought to herself, swallowing hard. Forcing a smile onto her face, she cleared her throat.  
  
You like it? Curtis looked up and had to do everything in his power to keep his jaw from dropping. Judy was in a dark blue, velvet, skin-tight dress that looked a bit chinese, flowing about her ankles and the sleeves rather short. The turtle neck, sleeves, and slit down the left side were all lined in pearly white, giving her an elegant look. A soft, white shawl rested about her elbows and her hair was in a partial ponytail that was twisted into an elegant bun in the back, a tiara with strings of pearls encircling her brow.  
  
Uh huh... Curtis replied, making Judy giggle, her cheeks looking even rosier than before. Remembering himself, Curtis got to his feet and strode across the room before taking her arm in his.  
  
Shall we?  
  
Of course. Where are we going? Judy asked, secretely wondering if she looked too nice.  
  
How about that French-ish resteraunt that just opened? Curtis asked, wondering if he looked nice enough.  
  
Isn't it expensive? the she-elf asked as they began down the street, a light snow falling through the sunset.  
  
Not for you, Curtis smiled and Judy giggled, her cheeks gaining an even rosier look.   
  
~*~  
  
Table for four, please, Perrin told the woman at the front.  
  
Right this way, sir, she picked up four menus and guided them to a booth, the boys sitting on one side and the girls on the other.  
  
Um... its all in French, Perrin peered at the foreign words.  
  
Jacey opened her own menu and her brow began to glisten in panic. What if I order cooked rabbit or something?!  
  
Then we'll all die, Perrin sneered and Jacey's eyes narrowed. Kae and Bernard both burst out laughing when Jacey jerked slightly, causing a thud under the table as Perrin's face to twist in pain.  
  
Well, can _you_ read it? Perrin asked after recovering, looking to Bernard. The Head Elf shook his head, his black locks shaking with him. Perrin sighed and looked back at the menu.  
  
Ladies and gentlemen, Bernard can't read, Bernard stopped shaking his head and glared at the elf, who only sneered back.  
  
Boys will be boys, eh? Kae groaned and Jacey nodded, rolling her eyes.  
  
Well, can you read it?! Bernard snapped. Kae looked rather uninterested with him, keeping her eyes on her menu.  
  
I dropped out of school when they were still teaching us how to count to ten in Spanish, Kae replied. Bernard sighed heavily, as did Jacey and Perrin. Kae was the only one who didn't look rather disturbed at what she might end up ordering. It was then Bernard remembered that Kae grew up on the streets, eating whatever she could get her hands on. He didn't want to think about what it was she ate each night.  
  
~*~  
  
Two for the bar please, Curtis asked.  
  
Right this way, the woman grabbed two menus and led them to a dimly lit section, where they seated themselves near the end so that they could be alone. Converstations were never as fun when you had to keep your voice down for fear the fat guy wearing the wife beater shirt and drinking his third beer in a twenty minutes behind you would decide to join in.   
  
Do you know french? Curtis asked, opening his menu. Judy laughed and nodded.  
  
I took a side course for it, she replied.   
  
Can you translate?  
  
Tell me what you want and I'll try to find it.  
  
The two of them laughed together, everyone else slipping away. They felt like they were the only ones there, and with this feeling, they found themselves talking to each other as if they were back at the North Pole: Drinking cocoa, laughing, and enjoying every moment.  
  
~*~  
  
The orders came for the four Grey Elves. Perrin had wound up with a soup the same blue color as his eyes, Jacey had a fruit looking like a pineapple with strange stuff inside it looking mysteriously like hair, and Bernard had wound up with strange, grey pasta all in a corner with three meat balls to complete the smiley face on his plate. Kae, by some stroke of luck, had ended up with a pizza.  
  
I need to go... be back and will kill you if you touch my pizza, Kae glared at the boys before turning to Jacey. Wanna come?  
  
Jacey nodded, staring at her pineapple/hair dinner with wide eyes and a slightly green face.   
  
As the two girls dissapeared, Bernard and Perrin looked at their dinners, looked at each other's, exchanged glances, sighed and pushed their plates away from them.  
  
I'll try yours if you'll try mine, Perrin offered, to which Bernard gulped and nodded. He could swear he saw little blue things growing in his .   
  
Both of them swallowed hard.  
  
On three, Bernard said, and Perrin nodded in agreement. Perrin wrapped the sickly grey pasta on his fork as Bernard spooned some of the blue soup. they both raised the food up. Then, gulping, Bernard forced,   
  
Two silverwares plunged at the same time, two eyes bulged, and two dinners flew across the table as they spit them out. They both exchanged glances and suddenly burst out laughing... not the kind of instinctive laughter from most jokes every Thursday, but true laughing where you couldn't stop and you couldn't breathe. Bernard hadn't laughed that hard for at least a year, for Dark Elves never laughed and he wasn't much better than one. Now that he was truly laughing again, he remembered what it was like to laugh so hard you couldn't stop. Only about ten seconds later did it die down slightly... actually, now instead of silent hysterics, it was just two men roaring in laughter, tears running down their cheeks.  
  
~*~  
  
Who in the name of Santa is laughing like that?! Curtis groaned, though not in an annoyed way, and Judy was giggling slightly.  
  
Guess something pretty funny happened, Judy shrugged. All the same, though, she stood up slightly on the bars that were the frame of the chair and looked around. Let's see, I think it's coming from over ther-  
  
Curtis asked when Judy stopped short.  
  
Okay, turn around slowly... they might see us... look... right behind you... Curtis, laughing lightly, turned around to see who it was. His smile immediately faded.  
  
It was Bernard and Perrin. They were laughing so hard they were crying. Perrin poured Bernard a glase of wine and they both downed it immediately, gurgling much to the disgust of those around them before swallowing. Their laughter finally dying, he saw Perrin shake his head, eyes wide, saying: in total shock. Bernard was pouring himself more and gurgling again.  
  
How could he... Curtis found himself shaking, both in anger and sorrow. Sighing, he spun back around and hung his head. Judy, what's going on? Does Bernard hate us or something?  
  
Oh I'm sure he doesn't! Judy tried to be comforting. Thankfully, she wasn't as easily angered as Curtis, but instead she felt extremely hurt.   
  
Then why is he going behind our backs like this? We're always saying how much we don't like Perrin, yet now he's... well... he waved his hand back at them.  
  
I'm sure there's a good reason why, Judy tried to comfort her friend, hoping she sounded more convinced that she truly was. Besides, we're jumping to conclusions! Maybe... Santa wanted them to get aquainted!  
  
Maybe you're righ- Curtis cut off, his mouth dropping open. Judy puzzled at him a moment before following his gaze to see two girls coming out of the ladies room, one she immediately recognized as Kae. They were laughing with each other. They joined the table and soon, all of them were laughing together, lost in their own world. Curtis watched with pained eyes at his best friend... one of his only friends, the one he had told all his troubles to, the one had looked up to for so long...   
  
Laughing harder than he had ever with Curtis. A tear crawled down the elf's face, and he suddenly realized how small he truly was. Suddenly, he felt very alone. He felt useless... he got the sinking feeling that Bernard had never liked him at all. Had he just imagined that they were friends that whole time...   
  
Was I just a bother to him? Curtis asked. I always thought we were friends, but did he just put up with me because he had to...  
  
Of course not! Judy told him sympathetically, yet she herself had been wondering the same thing.   
  
I've never seen him that happy... Curtis sighed, turning back around. Even more tears were running down his face.  
  
he asked timidly, trying to keep the sob out of his voice.  
  
she asked, trying hard to hold back her own tears as Curtis raised his head to reveal tear stained cheeks.  
  
Has he always hated me?  
  
~*~  
  
What took you two so long?! Perrin demanded when the two returned.  
  
Do you really want to know? Kae grinned at him and the two boys exchanged glances.  
  
Er... no, not really... Bernard laughed.  
  
Thought so, Kae smiled. Jacey, swallowing hard, scooped out some of the and held it in front of her face at the same time Kae picked up a slice of pizza. Both of them took a bite.  
  
HOLY SHIT! Jacey cried after spitting it out at the same time that Kae said: This is really good pizza! All it needs is a little pepper... Everyone glared at her as she looked around for the pepper shaker. UGH! THEY DIDN'T GIVE US ONE, THE CHEAPSKATES! HOW CAN A GIRL EAT PIZZA WITHOUT PEPPER?!  
  
By picking it, biting it, chewing, and then swallowing, Perrin replied with another sneer.   
  
Shut up, you prat, Kae growled at him and Perrin let his face fall in mock-hurt. Anyhow, I'm going to go steal someone's pepper shaker! THERE'S ONE! she sprung from her seat to retrieve it.  
  
I'll go with you... Jacey followed Kae, looking green again.  
  
Have fun, Perrin called after the two and recieved a cold glance from Kae over her shoulder. They always move in packs... Unfortunately, the table Kae and Jacey ventured to happened to be right next to where Curtis and Judy were...  
  
Judy cried, smiling. The young elf looked up and returned the smile.  
  
she walked over, smiling, Jacey following.  
  
Who's this? Judy asked, motioning to the redhead.  
  
Oh, Jacey, Kae introduced her friend.  
  
Hey... you two, can I ask you something? Curtis asked, raising his head. Neither of them had noticed him because he had been hunching over, and his sudden appearence made them both jump. He looked slightly like he'd been crying. Kae and Jacey exchanged wondering glances before they both shrugged.  
  
As long as you're aware I have no problem giving people bloody noses, sure, Kae smiled innocently. Suddenly, there was a loud crash from in the direction of their table.  
  
Why do I get the feeling that was the boys? Kae groaned.  
  
Probably trying to kill each other to get to you pizza, Jacey replied with a laugh.  
  
Nice talkin' to ya' two... BYE! Kae sprinted back to the table, her pepper in hand.  
  
Uh, they're a riot... Jacey shook her head in laughter before returning her gaze to the two in front of her. Now, what was your question?  
  
Well... um... I... uh... would... well... Curtis sighed, hanging his head and keeping his gaze on the ground. Would you say Perrin and Bernard are... friends? the word seemed choked, but slight hope flickered in Curtis's eyes as he raised them again. That puzzled Jacey thoroughly.  
  
she shook her head, not catching their sighs of relief. Then, she smiled at them. They're more like brothers!  
  
Curtis choked. Didn't they use to say that about Bernard and him? Judy sighed, knowing that was not going to go over well with Curtis.  
  
You bet! You know... how they fight all the time, but they're so close underneath it's scary!  
  
They're... close? Curtis's eyes brimmed with tears.  
  
As close as you can get! Apart from us having dinner together every Thursday, they meet up all the time! Just a week ago, they stayed out all night together and came back drunk as hell! Jacey laughed. She looked at Curtis, and her face quickly fell to see his teeth gritted in anger, fists clenched. I said too much, didn't I? Judy met her gaze and nodded before looking down again, a small tear running down her cheek.  
  
~*~  
  
Bernard had noticed something: Until he, Kae, Jacey, and Perrin had been hanging out so often, he hadn't been happy. Until he finally found three others who knew what he was going through, he had been miserable, and had actually cut his arms every now and then. He had learned to enjoy the pain immensly, for it made him forget about the pain on the inside. Now, whenever he was with them, he wasn't lying every time he either smiled or laughed.  
  
For the first time in seven years, he was truly happy.  
  
So... where's Jacey? Bernard asked, looking around.  
  
Oh, we saw Judy and Curtis when we went to get the pepper... of course, when you two tried to steal my pizza, I left. Curtis had some question or another for Jacey... Kae waved her hand as if it was nothing important.  
  
You left Jacey with them...? Bernard knew this wasn't good, yet instead of being troubled, he burst out laughing again.  
  
a sudden voice made them all jump and he looked up in fear. He knew that voice. This wasn't good.  
  
He imagined Curtis breaking out in little hairs and growing fangs, pouncing on their table, eyes glowing red...  
  
Or not. He almost laughed... Curtis, a werewolf? Well, now that he expected the worst, what was coming couldn't be too bad...  
  
Hadn't he said that before just before the Dark One had forced him to murder... this wasn't good.  
  
His fears were confirmed. Curtis stood glaring at him, fists clenched, tears running down his cheeks. Judy was holding his arm, torn between looking sympathetically at Curtis and glaring at Bernard. Jacey slunk back to the table and sat next to Kae, looking rather stressed and guilty. This wasn't good.  
  
Bernard almost laughed. That was the official understatement of the year. Well, it was either that or I don't think the Dark One likes Christmas that much...'  
  
Bernard... how could you?! Curtis shouted, glaring at the Head elf, snapping him back to reality.  
  
Huh... wait... how could I what? Bernard asked, but that just made Curtis even angrier.  
  
he pointed at Perrin, who glared at his finger.  
  
What about him? Bernard growled, slightly angering himself.  
  
He's been my enemy for this long... and you go behind my back and befriend him?! ARE WE JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH FRIENDS ANYMORE FOR YOU?! IS THAT IT?! Curtis was shaking in fury. And... even then, you have to go make friends with that... that ignorant prat?! He pointed at Perrin again, and Perrin looked like he was about to jump across the table again and bite his finger off.  
  
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! Bernard was on his feet with a crash as he knocked the table and the three others had to steady it. His own fists were clenched, and Curtis was backing down slightly. So what does it matter to you who I'm friends with?! Perrin has been there for me for several years in a way that you could never understand... we have a lot in common. Curtis, there are things about me I could never tell you because you would probably hate me for it... my past isn't all peaches and cream, and it is because of things that I wouldn't dare tell someone like you... Curtis couldn't tell whether to be offended or apologetic. He looked at the three behind Bernard as they exchanged knowing glances. He clenched his fists again.  
  
What do you mean, someone like me?! Someone not as important... am I just not good enough for you, First In Command?! Bernard was shocked at being called that.  
  
No, I don't, Curtis. I mean someone innocent like you! You don't have to worry about the things that I do, and if I were to tell you, I would curse you. Do you know why I grew up, Curtis? Bernard could feel tears springing to his eyes but he ignored them. Curtis shook his head, his anger fading. Curtis, elves grow up if they aren't innocent anymore. All of you live in worlds of laughter and wonder while we, he motioned to himself and the three behind him, are forced into worlds of darkness. I'm sorry that you can't trust me enough to realize I wouldn't ever do anything to hurt you. We've been friends for over seven hundred years, his eyes fell, though he didn't break their gaze. Doesn't that mean anything to you?  
  
Curtis suddenly cried out in frusteration and anger before spinning around and fleeing. Judy glanced back at them once before chasing after Curtis.  
  
Don't worry, he was a bastard anyway, Perrin smiled and Bernard snorted. That was Perrin's excuse for everything... the Dark One might as well have been walking around with a sign on his forehead reading bastad' with how many times Perrin had called him that.  
  
~*~  
  
Bernard sat alone in his home. He was feeling extremely guilty... small tears burned down his face. He loved Perrin, Kae, and Jacey... oh, he loved them like family! Yet at the same time, Curtis... and Judy... they had always tried to cheer him up even when they didn't know what was wrong! Weren't they the reasons he gave his life up? Weren't they what he was clinging to?  
  
And he had lost them.  
  
Slowly, Bernard walked into the kitchen. Moonlight spilled through the window, the only light in the room. Yet it was enough. He found his way easily to the knives. Drawing one of them, he glared at it.   
  
What if it all just went away? Bernard wondered. He tightened his grip on the deadly strip of metal before raising it. He backed up against the wall and held it at arms length in both hands. I can make it go away... He shut his eyes. I really can... forever...  
  
And he plunged the knife.  
  
Bernard cried out in pain, eyes becoming wide. He sank to his knees and then fell all the way to the floor, breathing hard though it came in wheezed gasps. Tears ran down his pale cheeks, reflecting the moonlight as blood spilled out onto the wooden floor. Pain racked his body, pain almost as horrible as when the Dark One cursed you. He could hear someone crying out, and suddenly realized it was him...  
  
I missed... he gasped. He looked with blurry eyes to where the knife was burried all the way through his shoulder. I couldn't do it... He slowly pushed himself upwards so that he was on his hands and knees, shuddering violently. Placing a sturdy hand on the knife, he yanked it free.  
  
And screamed.  
  
Blood poured out onto the floor even more than before. Bernard was becoming dizzy.  
  
I can't do it... I have nothing to live for... so why can't I? he asked, peering into the darkness. And suddenly, he saw Curtis in the doorway. A small smile curved his lips. Maybe I still have faith in him... Curtis... he thought to himself. Then, looking down at the floor, he laughed at the blood puddling down below him. Maybe I'll bleed to death... with that final thought, his eyes rolled back into his head and he collapsed into his own, crimson pool.  
  
He never really realized that Curtis was standing in the doorway... and had been since Bernard stabbed himself. The Head Elf's voice rang in his ears.  
  
_I'm sorry that you can't trust me enough to realize I wouldn't ever do anything to hurt you. We've been friends for over seven hundred years... Doesn't that mean anything to you?_ _  
  
_ Curtis sobbed, falling to his knees. Oh god Bernard... I'm so sorry... please...  
  
Bernard didn't move.  
  
~*~  


Pick me up,  
Been bleeding too long,  
Right here, right now,  
I'll stop it some how.  
  
I will make it go away,  
Can't be here no more,  
Seems this is the only way,  
I will soon be gone.  
  
These feelings will be gone,  
These feelings will be gone.  
  
Now I see the times they change,  
Leaving doesn't seems so strange,  
I am hoping I can find,  
Where to leave my hurt behind.  
  
All this shit I seem to take,  
All alone I seem to break,  
I have lived the best I can,  
Does this make me not a man?  
  
Shut me off,  
I am ready,  
Heart stops, I stand alone,  
Can't be on my own.  
  
I will make it go away,  
Can't be here no more,  
Seems this is the only way,  
I will soon be gone.  
  
These feelings will be gone,  
These feelings will be gone.  
  
Now I see the times they change,  
Leaving doesn't seems so strange,  
I am hoping I can find,  
Where to leave my hurt behind.  
  
All this shit I seem to take,  
All alone I seem to break,  
I have lived the best I can,  
Does this make me not a man?  
  
Am I going to leave this place?  
What is it I'm hanging from?   
Is there nothing more to come?   
Am I Gunna leave this place?  
  
Is it always black in space?  
Am I going to take it's place?  
Am I going to leave this race?  
Am I going to leave this race?  
  
I guess God's up in this place?  
What is it that I've become?  
Is there something more to come?   
More to come?  
  
Now I see the times they change,  
Leaving doesn't seems so strange,  
I am hoping I can find,  
Where to leave my hurt behind.  
  
All this shit I seem to take,  
All alone I seem to break,  
I have lived the best I can,  
Does this make me not a man?  
  
Now I see the times they change,  
Leaving doesn't seems so strange,  
I am hoping I can find,  
Where to leave my hurt behind.  
  
All this shit I seem to take,  
All alone I seem to break,  
I have lived the best I can,  
Does this make me not a man?  


  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
A/N: Alas, I couldn't get Curtis seeing Bernard quite as sad as I'd of liked, but it's not a total catastrophe, is it? ^_~ And bout Bernard... now does the song make sense... I will soon be gone'. Just to warn you:  
  
I'm not the kind of author who has a problem killing off the main character.  
  
Next chapter is gonna be REALLY REALLY REALLY ANGSTY!!!!!!!!!!!! **REVIEW!!!!!!  
REVIEW!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!!  
  
**You won't find out whether Bernard is dead until you review!! I've said the next chapter is really angsty... is it just more Bernard murders, or is it the funeral? Will Kae ever be able to admit she loves him, or will it fall on deaf ears? Did Bernard kill himself for nothing, since Curtis obviously came there to apologize? *grins evily* **  
  
I WILL NOT POST THE NEXT CHAPTER UNTIL I THERE ARE 5 ON THIS ONE!!!!!!!!  
  
REVIEW!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!!**


	5. Fall

A/N: Guess what?? I DIDN'T KILL BERNARD!!!!!!!! Honestly... I can't kill a main character off when I still have more chapters!!! Really... the whole idea is to kill the Dark One... you really think I'd kill Bernard before everything was either resolved or the entire world plunged into darkness?? Honestly, I write logical angst!!!!!! *grins* ^_~ You're gonna hate me for the end of this one too, though... ^_^ BTW, seriously think about the song... now, he's singing to Kae... no, he doesn't actually sing to her, but you get it. By the way... I kiss your neck'... thats a hint for a scene I only hint to... ^_^ You'll get it when you read it!! SO GO READ IT!!  
  


**Fall  
****chapter 4  
  
**I close my eyes,  
Thought I was lost, but I was stranded,  
I go outside,  
To my surprise the sky has landed.  
  
I thought it made more sense,  
If I could only keep you guessing,  
I was a fool to think,  
That I should stop you from undressing.  
  
Now I'm believing all the words you say,  
That I can't say back to you,  
To you...  
  
And so I fall,  
I don't want to feel this small,  
You know I just can't handle this,  
Handle this at all.  
  
And,  
I'll just fall,  
I let my heartbeat drop,  
I falter as the music stops.  
  
And you watch me as I stall,  
And wonder when I fall...  
  
I kiss your neck,  
I feel you breathing on my shoulder,  
Still I'm perfect,  
It must be you cuz now it's over.  
  
I was so close,  
That was the most that I have ever been through,  
Now old cassettes and cigarettes,  
Will be the ones to save you.  
  
How can you ask for me to stay,  
When all you ever do is go?  
Just go...  
  
And so I fall,  
I don't want to feel this small,  
You know I just can't handle this,  
Handle this at all.  
  
And,  
I'll so I fall,  
I let my heartbeat drop,  
I falter as the music stops.  
  
And you watch me as I stall,  
And wonder when I fall...  
  
Go on,  
You've kept me waiting,  
Go on,  
And watch me as I...  
  
Fall,  
I don't want to feel this small,  
You know I just can't handle this,  
Handle this at all.  
  
And,  
I'll just fall,  
I let my hearbeat drop,  
I falter as the music stops.  
  
And you watch me as I stall,  
And wonder when I...  
  


~*~  
  
Pain.  
  
That was the first thing Bernard was aware of. Pain. He whimpered softly and opened his eyes to reveal small, chocolate brown, unfocused slits.   
  
And then, it all came rushing back.  
  
Dear God... Bernard cried, suddenly wide awake. He tried to sit up, but the pain in his shoulder was unbearable. He cried out in pain and fell back down, breathing through clenched teeth, eyes shut. Oh god, it hurt...  
  
the voice... Bernard couldn't remember who's it was, but he knew it. Slowly, he looked around the room and for the first time, he realized he was in his own room in his own bed, and also that someone had pulled up a chair and was sitting next to him. He raised his eyes to see who it was.  
  
Curtis.  
  
Bernard managed. His shoulder felt like it was on fire... he could hardly focus on the small elf. Why're you her- Realization hit him like a freight train. He looked down, and sure enough, his shoulder was bandaged. Slowly, he raised his head back to the number two elf with question filling his pained eyes.  
  
Yes. I saw you do it. I was there, Curtis's eyes were on the floor and tears flowed down his cheeks like little rivers. Suddenly, he raised his blood-shot eyes to Bernard with a hint of anger in them. Why, Bernard?! WHY?! His face faltered and he shrank back slightly, his voice becoming a whimper. Is it because of me?  
  
No, of course not, Curtis, despite his pain and absolute horror, Bernard laughed as he said this. Then, a thought struck him.  
  
It was because of Curtis. Curtis was the reason he had become a Dark Elf. When he lost Curtis, he lost what he had to live for. Yes, it was because of Curtis. He hung his head.  
  
Then why? the number two elf choked back tears, his voice a sob. Why, Bernard?  
  
I can't tell you, Bernard shook his head.   
  
Curtis was suddenly on his feet. You're my best friend, Bernard! You can tell me anything! That's what friends are for, right?!?!   
  
What's going on? the two leaned over to see who it was in the doorway. Bernard's eyes widened in horror. Shit, the whole fucking world might as well come see that he had tried to kill himself now.  
  
It was Kae.  
  
Curtis faltered, at a loss for words. Then, he shut his eyes and more tears ran down his face. He sat down and let out a loud sob before burying his face in his hands. Kae sighed and strode across the room.  
  
Bernard, what did you d- the moment she saw him, she knew. Oh god... Her eyes flicked to his shoulder and then back up to Bernard. YOU DIDN'T!  
  
I'm sorry, Kae...  
  
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Kae shouted in horrible fury, yet at the same time, she was worried... oh, she was worried! BERNARD... ALL OF THEM...  
  
I know, Kae, Bernard cut her off, his voice stern. Sighing, he told her. The reason I became what I am is because of Curtis. I wanted to protect him... he was what I held onto. When I thought I'd lost him... tears began to crawl down his pale face.  
  
Oh Bernard, Kae sat on the edge of his bed and hugged him tenderly. All of us care about you! You're family to us! You are part of what we choose to hold onto!  
  
I'm so sorry, Kae, Bernard whimpered softly.  
  
What's going on? they both suddenly became aware of Curtis. The tears still trickled, the rivers still plain, but Curtis's face was full of shock and confusion. He cleared his throat, a bit afraid of the answer. By family... you mean you two... or are Jacey and Perrin included?  
  
Yes, they are, Bernard replied without fear. Curtis's face fell in pained sorrow and he hung his head. Curtis, you are too, though. He raised his head again, wonder dancing in his eyes as if he didn't dare to believe it. Bernard smiled at him. Two different families... and in both of them, you are what I have to hold onto. You may not understand that now, his face softened with the best smile he could muster, for the pain in his shoulder was still making him want to scream, but when all this is over and I can finally tell you the truth, you will realize just how important you've been to me.  
  
What do you mean...? Curtis was filled with wonder and amazement, even though he didn't understand. He meant something to Bernard... when he had thought he was nothing, Bernard was saying he was near everything.  
  
Bernard dances upon the edge of death, both of them looked to Kae, who smiled affectionately at Curtis. You are what catches him when he begins to fall. Curtis's eyes filled with different tears now and he smiled, simply amazed and with nothing to say.   
  
Just don't ever try that again... Curtis finally managed.  
  
Don't worry, he won't, Kae grinned as she spoke. 'Cause I'm gonna be stayin' here to make sure he doesn't!  
  
Bernard cried, and that resulted in him screaming and grabbing his shoulder.  
  
Dumb ass... Kae pushed him back down on the pillow. Besides... I wasn't joking when I said I blew up my house. She grinned at him again.  
  
Oh fine! Bernard groaned. He was in no mood to argue with an elf like kae, and she knew it, which was proven by her mischevious grin.  
  
I guess... I better be going, Curtis got to his feet. Don't worry... I won't say anything to Judy.  
  
You better not, cause I... well, with his help, she pointed to Bernard, I know where you live! Curtis smiled and nodded slightly before leaving the room. Bernard watched him go before turning to Kae.   
  
It was all he could do to keep from gasping aloud. The setting sun's final light came through his window in countless colors, all of them framing Kae and making her glow... like an angel.  
  
Bernard inwardly laughed. Kae' and angel' didn't belong in the same sentence unless there was a negative in there too!  
  
And suddenly, she turned to him with glassy eyes.  
  
and with that, she broke into silent sobs and let her head fall onto his unwounded shoulder. Honestly... why...?  
  
I'm sorry, Kae, he repeated.  
  
If I lost you... I don't have anything else to hold onto! Bernard's eyes widened at that statement. I didn't believe it... I tried to make it go away... but no matter how many times I pretended... she burried her face between his neck and shouder. I still love you. Bernard smiled and brought his face right next to her ear, breathing softly on her shoulder.  
  
Why do you think I kissed you? Kae raised her eyes, her face looking as if she hardly dared to believe it, yet she was hoping with all she had.  
  
she blinked back small beads from her eyes. Bernard nodded. Suddenly, Kae's eyes filled with different drops of emotion.   
  
The tears dancing away from her eyes, glittering in the sun's light like tiny crystals, she bent down and pulled him into a fierce kiss, and Bernard kissed her back, each of them pouring every emotion they held into it.   
  
Moments later, Bernard moved down her neck, making Kae laugh lightly. Slowly, she unbuttoned his shirt. And suddenly, they both stopped.   
  
A small bead burned down Kae's cheek as she traced the Kurai with her finger. Amazing how that simple, shaped burn could change you forever. With a small sigh, Kae leaned back and pulled off the black tank top to show only the grey, V necked shirt underneath. With his good arm, Bernard traced the Kurai on Kae's chest before they locked gazes, one in question, one in answer. Kae nodded softly. And as she kissed him softly, the last of their doubt faded away with the sun's light, the truth becoming clear as day.  
  
Bernard and Kae were desperately in love.  
  
~*~  
  
It was early September and Bernard walked through the North Pole, traveling a route he could follow blindfolded. Dread filled him, but he knew he had to do it. He and Kae had both talked it over after a recent Gathering. The Dark One's voice rang in his ears, stiffening his resolve.  
  
_It is only a matter of time before we have enough to finally destroy the Light Elves. We will murder them, torture them, twist them with pain and leave them begging for death. We will destroy them all._  
  
It was too much to handle at the same time as the job of Head Elf. The Light Elves at the North Pole had always filled him with strength, but somehow, he knew what he had to do. Clenching his teeth, he knocked lightly on Scott Calvin's door.  
  
came the reply. Taking a deep breath, Bernard pushed open the door and walked inside, knowing this simple conversation would change him forever.  
  
~*~  
  
Curtis, who was helping some of the elves with a toy truck, looked up when he heard the familiar, heavy footfall. He smiled when he saw Bernard, but it quickly faded. He was sure he saw tear stains down the Head Elf's cheeks, but he couldn't be sure. Bernard... crying? Never!  
  
he asked timidly, making his friend jump. Then, his face formed a smile.  
  
Curtis! I didn't see you there... Bernard tried to pretend nothing was wrong. It wasn't working.  
  
What's wrong? And don't try to deny something is, because I know, Curtis grinned, making Bernard sigh in defeat before he knealt down to Curtis's level. All the elves stopped working to stare at the two, knowing something important was going on, especially when Bernard didn't tell them all to get back to work.  
  
Curtis, I... Bernard's face faltered before he sighed again and lowered his gaze. Slowly, he reached up to his beret and to the horror of everyone around them, he undid the Head Elf pin. I can't be the Head Elf anymore, he said, his eyes on the ground, a small tear slipping down his cheek.  
  
Bernard... but you... you worked so hard... all of us... why?! Curtis shouted in exasperation, but tears filled his own eyes from behind his glasses.  
  
Curtis, please, Bernard held up his hand to stop the Second-In-Command before continuing, his eyes still on the ground. This is harder for me than you can imagine, but I have to. Please don't ask me why. Curtis closed his mouth, trying to think of what to say. Finally, his voice coming out in a sob, he managed to speak.  
  
We're all going to miss you, he whispered, to which Bernard smiled and met his gaze.   
  
And I'll miss you guys too, he tried his best to keep his smile. Curtis's face twisted as he let out a sob, his shoulders jerking pitifully, before he fell forward and embraced Bernard, who hugged him back tightly.  
  
How can you leave? Curtis wondered silently, not wanting to let go. Soon, though, Bernard sat back.   
  
he said, pulling off Curtis's hat. To the young elf's surprise, Bernard fastened the Head Elf pin to his hat before replacing it on his head. He smiled as he got to his feet. You're the Head Elf now. That's what you've always wanted, right? Curtis tried his best to smile back.  
  
It won't be the same without you... Bernard sighed again. For a long time, he and Curtis just stared at each other, everyone around them too shocked to move. Finally, Bernard broke the horrible silence.  
  
Take care of them for me, Curtis nodded and Bernard raised his head to the rest of the elves. I'll miss you all, but trust me, he grinned. Curtis will be a wonderful Head Elf! Now as my final order, I demand that you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! And with a final smile, he vanished in a show of silver.  
  
From where they stood, Scott and Carol both wiped away tears and Scott put his arm around his wife's shoulder.  
  
It's never going to be the same without him... Carol, despite her short time there, somehow knew that simple fact, which made Scott pull her even closer.  
  
I know... I know...  
  
~*~  
  
Kae sang, opening Bernard's curtains so that the sunlight streamed through.  
  
the elf hid under his pillow to shield his eyes.  
  
Oh no you don't! Kae walked over and stripped the sheets off of him. COME ON! I made breakfast!  
  
What is it? Bernard asked, his voice muffled.  
  
You're favorite... Chocolate Chip Pancakes and Cocoa, Kae grinned as Bernard leapt out of bed and ran to the closet.  
  
I'll be downstairs in a minute!  
  
See you then! Kae replied with a laugh before leaving the room.  
  
They had been living together for almost two months now, and Bernard had grown to enjoy her company very much. As long as she wasn't playing with his things... and by playing he meant when Kae tried to see what all would blow up in a microwave and what wouldn't... she was great to have around. He felt much less lonely.  
  
Wow... this is really good! Bernard complimented her on the cocoa. Kae was in a cute apron that Judy had made her, pulling the pancakes off the stove.  
  
Judy taught me a couple things... Kae smiled mischeviously. Basically, that meant she either chased Judy around with some dangerous object, threatened her, or tickle-tortured her till she spilled. Bernard had to laugh. The two had actually become pretty close friends... Judy and Curtis visited them often. At first, it had just been Curtis wanting to check on Bernard's shoulder and Judy tagging along, but it had become more lately.  
  
Bernard shouted in pain as he jumped up from the table and slapped his palm to his chest, breathing heavily.  
  
Kae raised an eyebrow at him. Despite the fact that his Kurai felt like it was on fire, which was never a good sign, he almost laughed. Kae, the punk-elf, in a cute little apron was just something he would never get used to. It was strange to see a face like Kae's in attire like that, especially with her classic eyebrow raise, which she had turned into an insult within itself.  
  
A summon... Bernard groaned in reply, struggling to regain his breath.  
  
This early? Kae cried. Oh well... I'll keep the pancakes warm for you!  
  
and with that, he vanished. Kae watched him go, and suddenly, she realized her stomach was in a tight knot. A summon... she had grown used to his usual comings and goings, but somehow, this one didn't feel right...   
  
Setting her cooking down, she took her apron off before walking through the living room and into the hallway. On the wall was a painting of Jesus. Kae folded her hands.  
  
Dear Lord, I know you probably don't like me very much, but I'm still gonna ask you a favor... Please watch over Bernard for me, she opened her eyes and sighed heavily. She felt a little better, but she still chewed on her lip nervously as she sat down and prepared to attempt sowing... She had suffered forty-three finger bleeds from the in one week, and from it all, she had managed to knit a sock that would only fit a baby. Now, she was sowing another one.  
  
~*~  
  
Yes, m'lord? Bernard bowed down to the Dark One.  
  
Rise, 712, on command, he resumed standing. I believe we have traitors on this side...  
  
Terror set itself deep inside Bernard. He suddenly realized how lucky he had been not to lose anyone close to him...  
  
238, 425, and 473 have been whitnessed passing information to Light Elves. All want all three dead by tonight! Bernard couldn't believe it. He knew those numbers... it was Ian, Christy, and Ron. He felt like screaming... or running... or something! Yet at the same time, he bowed his head.  
  
Yes master, he stood for a moment, trying to make sure he didn't faint. That definately wouldn't look too good...  
  
Well, GO! the Dark One pointed to the left of him. Bernard almost laughed. He felt like telling the Dark One that the North Pole, where all there worked, was in the complete opposite direction, but he figured it wise to keep his mouth shut.  
  
As you wish, Master, and with that, he vanished.  
  
~*~  
  
Bernard walked as slowly as he could through the North Pole towards the Reports Room. What in the name of all the was holy was he going to do?!   
  
Murder them... a part of him hissed. He tried to stop it... he tried to fight it... but somehow, the Dark Elf inside him began to take over, his eyes turning red, and his pace quickened. In no time, he was to the Reports Room.  
  
~*~  
  
Hello... WHOA! Christy leapt to her feet, knocking the table over. Ian and Ron also jumped up at the sight of the cloaked figure in the doorway.  
  
WHAT DO YOU WANT?! WHO ARE YOU?! Ron spat. 712 raised his palms.  
  
I will murder them.  
  
NO! YOU CAN'T!  
  
We will murder them.  
  
NO! I WON'T!  
  
Bernard tried to fight it. With horrified eyes, he saw the red sparks dancing in his palms. He looked up to Christy, Ron, and Ian's faces. And suddenly, different images spun through his head...  
  
~*~  
  
_ Christy rushed to his side as he staggered, pulling him down into a chair. WHAT HAPPENED?!  
  
I... I had to kill... Bernard's eyes filled with horrible pain. I killed Ron's uncle. And with that, he broke down.  
  
M-my... u-uncle? Ron stuttered.  
  
I'm so sorry! Bernard burried his face in his hands.  
  
I don't blame you, shocked, Bernard jerked his head up. Ron had tears streaming down his face, but he smiled at Bernard. If you hadn't, you would have been killed and then someone else would've. It couldn't be avoided...  
  
_Ron... he had forgiven Bernard. Bernard had killed someone who meant more than anything to Ron, for his uncle had taken him in when Ron's parents died. Yet Ron still forgave the Head Elf.  
_  
_~*~_  
  
Bernard... what is it? Ian had asked when Bernard walked in, tears running down his face.  
  
How many... how many more innocents do I have to slaughter? Bernard collapsed into a heap on the floor. In an instant, all three of them were at his side, yanking him to his feet and sitting him down.  
  
Bernard, I'm sorry, Ian told him comfortingly. Tell us who... and then, you can forget about it! If it wasn't you, someone else would've. Nothing can stop the Dark One once he wants someone dead. It isn't you fault! Tell us... and then you can join us in some poker!  
  
_And that day, he realized just how blessed he was... well, at least for his situation. After every murder, Ian, Ron, and Christy were always there to cheer him up.  
  
~*~  
  
Bernard forced his hands down at the last moment and the red sparks slammed into the floor, making wooden planks fly in all directions. In an instant, he reached up and tore of his hood as the red left his eyes.  
  
Christy near-sobbed.  
  
I'm sorry... I couldn't help myself... Bernard couldn't explain why he hadn't been able to control 712. It was hard to believe...  
  
You were sent to kill us...? Ian choked, to which Bernard nodded.  
  
You need to get out of here... fast! he told them. Or the Dark One will send someone else!  
  
What about you?! He'll kill you! He can track you because of the Kurai... what happens to you?! Ron's face was full of concern. Bernard smiled. He knew they shouldn't of, but they did. Here he was... he had almost just killed them, and they were worried about him. Tears began to run down his face. Somehow, the three Grey Elves seemed to understand. All of them smiled back at him.  
  
A sudden, cold voice broke the air.  
  
Good-bye, friends of the Light! Christy didn't even have time to scream before the red sparks consumed her.  
  
Bernard watched her fall, her eyes closing in pain, all life fading away to leave an empty body behind. Christy... the laughing, smiling, wonderful Christy... was dead.   
  
Bernard watched in fear as three Dark Elves stepped out of the shadows. He was frozen... there was nothing he could do... he couldn't move... He just stared at Christy's cold, expressionless face, her eyes dull, no longer shining.  
  
Ian shouted, jumping for the girl, when the red consumed him as well.   
  
STOP IT! Bernard tried to shout, but it came out a strangled sob. Ian... oh, wonderful Ian... now lay dead next to Christy.  
  
You enjoy seeing death, don't you? a voice hissed inside his head.  
  
Bernard tried, but it was useless.  
  
You've become a bloodthirsty murderer. You almost killed them.  
  
  
  
IAN! CHRISTY! Ron stared at them in panic and pain. Suddenly, his eyes filled with hatred as he gazed at the three Dark Elves. And he leapt forward just as they released the Red Sparks.  
  
Ron ducked them, something few could do in time. Then, he launched himself at the Dark Elf that had killed Ian. He wrapped his hands around the Elf's neck, resulting in a sickening CRACK! Bernard had a feeling the elf was dead before Ron's own sparks finished the job.  
  
Then, he turned to the next Dark Elf.   
  
Bernard cried, still unable to move... he wasn't even sure he had shouted that word, or if he had just thought it. Tears streamed down his face... Ron...  
  
Red sparks danced in Ron's palms. He smashed them against the Second Dark Elf, but not before it had managed to release its own. Bernard watched as the Elf crumpled to the ground, a lifeless heap, but then he suddenly became aware of the red that had engulfed Ron.  
  
Time slowed to a crawl as Ron was held mid-air. His eyes never gained the look of fear that so many recieved when held by Death's Curse. No... Ron was strong. Slowly, he began to fall, leaving his soul behind. And as Ron hit the floor, he closed his eyes. Forever.  
  
Bernard tried to run to them, but bindings of Dark Elf Magic went around his arms before he could move a foot. The last Dark Elf pulled him over and snarled at Bernard. The Head Elf was kicking and fighting, trying desperately to get to those three. This couldn't be happening... it just couldn't...  
  
So the Dark One's suspiciouns were correct, the Dark Elf cackled. You are a friend of the light... Bernard felt the world crashing down around him. He wishes to take care of you himself...  
  
~*~  
  
Kae snapped awake, breathing heavily. She looked around the room frantically to find that she was in his living room. She had dozed off. Still, her dream... she had a feeling it wasn't just a dream...  
  
Oh Bernard... please, be safe! soft tears trickled down her face. Please be alright...  
  
~*~  
  
Jacey stared at him with wild fear in her eyes as he opened his door.   
  
I know... I know... Perrin nodded at her.   
  
Oh god, Perrin, she suddenly fell into him, hugging him tightly. This can't happen... it just can't!  
  
They all felt it... they were all part of a picture, yet one of them was starting to rip... how long until he was completely torn away?  
  
~*~  
  
the Dark One hissed, holding Bernard around the neck, their face's only inches apart. His nails dug deep into the Head Elf's neck, thin lines of blood running freely to stain his shirt. Bernard, however, simply clenched his fists. Who are you, you filthy little Light Elf?! And with that, he threw Bernard to the ground. Most would lay in a crumpled heap there, too afraid to move. But Bernard though about Kae... Jacey and Perrin... he thought about Curtis and Judy, and all the North Pole elves... everything that gave him strength.  
  
I'm Bernard, the Dark One was surprised, to say the least, when the elf spoke. Slowly, he rose to his feet. I was the Head Elf at the North Pole.  
  
An even worse traitor then I thought! the Dark One smashed his palm towards Bernard, the air thunderining forward where he had struck. The surge of power knocked Bernard backward, sending him crashing to the ground. Yet still, he struggled back to his feet, teeth gritted.  
  
A Dark Elf cannot laugh. My laughs fill the room everyday, he spoke fearlessly.   
  
YOU WORTHLESS LIGHT ELF! gravity seemed to intensify all around Bernard, once again smashing him to the ground. Pain filled him, yet still, Bernard pushed himself to his feet. All he had to do was think of his friends... his family... and new strength filled him. His legs shook underneath him, threatening to give out any second, but his eyes were set in determination.  
  
A Dark Elf must hate Christmas. I'm willing to give my life up for it, anger boiled over the Dark One.  
  
FEEL THE PAIN THAT YOU HAVE SUMMONED! from his hands shot sharp crystals. They smashed into Bernard, making his scream in pain as he collapsed onto the ground. Deep gashes were in both arms, his sides, his legs... The Dark One cackled. he turned his back and began to walk away, ready to let a recent joined Dark Elf finish the Light Elf on the floor.  
  
the voice stopped him. Slowly, pain leaking from his eyes and blood soaking him, Bernard was getting up. A Dark Elf... cannot love... Bernard once again stood to his full height. I love many with all my heart.  
  
YOU FOOLISH PIECE OF SHIT! horrible pain consumed Bernard. It wracked his body, crimson staining him. He couldn't help but scream... the pain was like hot fire, searing his skin... every inch of his skin felt like alchohol on an open wound magnified ten times. The stinging... it was unbearable. He didn't know how much longer he could hold out against it, blood still running. How long till he bled to death? How long till every limb in him snapped? How long till it was all over?  
  
He was forced to wonder that as the torture proceeded, lasting long into the night. And for hours, Bernard's screams rang in the heads of his three most beloved.  
  
~*~  
  
Master, how did you do it? a young Dark Elf asked as the Dark One walked away.  
  
Simple power... it won't be long until he drowns in his own blood.  
  
That was what Bernard heard... barely heard. Tears ran down his face, the streaks they left becoming the one of the few places down his face clear of blood. He whole body racked with unimaginable pain. Everything spun, and he felt like he was burning up, yet cold sweat beaded everywhere. Everywhere, it was like tiny knives were stabbing him, piercing his skin, slowly killing him.  
  
I doubt he even remembers who he is, the Dark One said with a laugh, yet secretely, he said it out of fury of who Bernard had told himself as.  
  
I do... Bernard managed, though it opened the wounds around his lips and let the blood drip into his mouth. He didn't stop, though. My name... is Bernard... Using the last of his strength, he vanished in a puff of silver.   
  
~*~  
  
Bernard hadn't even thought of where he had taken himself. He was rather surprised to see that he was suddenly in front of a strange house. It took all he had, but he crawled to the door. His arm ached horribly, feeling like someone was shoving long knives through it over and over. Yet still, Bernard raised it till it could go no higher. And then, he let it drop.  
  
~*~  
  
What was that? Judy asked, looking up from her sowing when they heard a small thump on her door.  
  
Not sure... I'll go see, Curtis, who had been visiting the she-elf, rose to his feet and opened it.  
  
his voice was that of pure fear, high pitched and terrified. Immeidately, Judy sprang to his side, and she had to grab the door frame to keep from falling over. She tried to speak, but all that came out were strangled gasps.   
  
In front of them lay Bernard, covered in blood. Through their snowy yard was a trail where had dragged himself, all of the soft white stained crimson.   
  
Help me... his voice was choked, barely understandable, yet it triggered both elves. Judy immediately grabbed him and pulled him inside, and he winced in horrible pain at her touch. Everything... he was filled with horrible agony at every touch, whether it was Judy's hands or the feeling of the couch he was set on.  
  
What happened?! Curtis cried, near hysterics.  
  
I don't know... I think he was tortured... Judy sounded close to tears as well. Oh god, Bernard... She traced a finger down his cheek, making him flinch away in pain, letting his head fall softly onto the pillow.   
  
I... Kae... I have to... Bernard was vaguely aware of what was going on. Yet at the same time, he knew he couldn't stay with Curtis and Judy.   
  
Judy put a finger to his bloody lips, and he ceased talking. Then, she turned to Curtis, determination filling her eyes as tears ran from them. Curtis, he needs professional help, but for now I need you to get me a damp washcloth and the first aid kit!  
  
Curtis dashed into the kitchen before he had even finished his word. Worry... that was almost all he felt. And fear. Bernard... who would have done such a thing?! And why?!  
  
Judy watched Curtis go before turning back to Bernard.  
  
Oh please Bernard, hold on, she begged, pushing a stray lock from his brown eyes. She looked him over, fighting hard not to sob. A large bloodstain, growing by the minute, had formed on the left side of his chest. Judy decided she would tend to that one first and slowly began to undo the buttons of his shirt.  
  
No... don't... Bernard tried to stop her, but with this extra fear piled onto everything else, he finally gave out, slipping into unconciousness. Judy, still undoing the buttons, momentarily smiled at him in hopes he would no longer feel the pain before returning her eyes to her work.  
  
And she screamed a horrible, blood-curdling scream.  
  
Tears blurred her vision as she stumbled backwards blindly, staring terrified at the Head Elf. She screamed without realizing before turning to run and smashing into him. To afraid to speak, she burried her tear stained face into his shirt, sobbing hysterically.  
  
Judy! WHAT IS IT?! Curtis took hold of her shoulders and pushed her back to arms length. Slowly, she rose her gaze to meet his, eyes filled with terror and pain, tears faling unnoticed down her pale cheeks.  
  
His chest... his chest, Curtis... Curtis pulled Judy back into his shirt before looking over her shoulder at Bernard. It was then his eyes fell upon his greatest fear, the sign of one who would kill Curtis and Judy without a second thought, gleamed at him from where it was burned into Bernard's skin. His worst nightmare, staring back at him from what he had thought was his best friend. His lips formed a single, choked whisper as his eyes filled with tears and unbearable pain.  
  
The Kurai...  
  
~*~  
  


I close my eyes,  
Thought I was lost, but I was stranded,  
I go outside,  
To my surprise the sky has landed.  
  
I thought it made more sense,  
If I could only keep you guessing,  
I was a fool to think,  
That I should stop you from undressing.  
  
Now I'm believing all the words you say,  
That I can't say back to you,  
To you...  
  
And so I fall,  
I don't want to feel this small,  
You know I just can't handle this,  
Handle this at all.  
  
And,  
I'll just fall,  
I let my heartbeat drop,  
I falter as the music stops.  
  
And you watch me as I stall,  
And wonder when I fall...  
  
I kiss your neck,  
I feel you breathing on my shoulder,  
Still I'm perfect,  
It must be you cuz now it's over.  
  
I was so close,  
That was the most that I have ever been through,  
Now old cassettes and cigarettes,  
Will be the ones to save you.  
  
How can you ask for me to stay,  
When all you ever do is go?  
Just go...  
  
And so I fall,  
I don't want to feel this small,  
You know I just can't handle this,  
Handle this at all.  
  
And,  
I'll so I fall,  
I let my heartbeat drop,  
I falter as the music stops.  
  
And you watch me as I stall,  
And wonder when I fall...  
  
Go on,  
You've kept me waiting,  
Go on,  
And watch me as I...  
  
Fall,  
I don't want to feel this small,  
You know I just can't handle this,  
Handle this at all.  
  
And,  
I'll just fall,  
I let my hearbeat drop,  
I falter as the music stops.  
  
And you watch me as I stall,  
And wonder when I...  
  


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
A/N: Didn't turn out as angsty as I had thought it would... oh well! ^_^ Just a heads up... there are only a few more chapters, two at least, but there will be a sequal!!!!! ^_^ **REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	6. Good News

A/N: Once again, many thanks for the reviews!!!! Unfortunately, there is only one more chapter after this one and then an epilouge... but, on the bright side, there will be a sequal, which I will write as you review... or maybe I'll just finish it before I post it... *shrugs* Can you believe that the other chapters all equaled up to 121 pages?!?!?!? Alrighty... I must warn you, because there are only two chapters left, anything can happen... *grins*  
  


**Good News  
****chapter 5  
  
Something Corporate - Good News**  
  
She's trapped inside her room,  
With reruns on the screen,  
Old books and movies,  
But she can't stop thinking.  
  
I'm torn between myself,  
My radio, my friends,  
I want to write this one of,  
Over and over and over again...  
  
And then she looked at me to scream,  
My castles are falling!  
And I can't look into the street,  
Without everything changing...  
  
I want to read good news, good news,  
I want to be innocent again,  
I want to read good news, good news,  
But nothing good is happening...  
  
She waits all day,  
She stands a stranger in her skin,  
And she moves the science,  
With her hands.  
  
She lines her walls,  
With every paper she can see,  
These words consume her,  
But they never set her free...  
  
And then she looked at me to scream,  
My castles are falling!  
And I can't look into the street,  
Without everything changing...  
  
I want to read good news, good news,  
I want to be innocent again,  
I want to read good news, good news,  
But nothing good is happening...  
  
But nothing good is happening...  
But nothing good is happening...!  
  
I want to read good news, good news,  
I want to be a little kid again,  
I want to read good news, good news,  
But nothing good is happening...  
  
I want to read good news, good news,  
I want to go to sleep at night again,  
I want to read good news, good news,  
But nothing good is happening...  
  
But nothing good is happening...  
But nothing good is happening...!  
  


~*~  
  
Bernard... Bernard, are you awake? yes, he was definately awake, judging by the fact that his whole body ached with pain he hadn't felt only moments before. Bernard was vaguely aware... he couldn't focus on the voice, and when he tried to move his lips, it felt strange, making old wounds around his lips burn again.  
  
Kae... Kae... he mumbled, opening his eyes slightly and finding himself blinding by the light. He could barely see someone next to him.  
  
No, it's us, Bernard... he opened his eyes fully, ignoring the pain of the bright lights.  
  
he asked, his vision finally clearing.   
  
Yes, Bernard, we're here, Carol knealt down next to him and held his hand in hers, rubbing her thumb over it.   
  
Bernard asked, absently fumbling at some memory that would give him an answer.  
  
Curtis and Judy... the told us things... Bernard suddenly saw the tear streaks down her face. Though the small beads were no longer there, the paths they made were still as plain as day. Terrible things... Scott placed his hand on his wife's shoulder as another tear made it's way down her face.  
  
And suddenly, it all came rushing back. Bernard sat straight up, ignoring the pain. He knew where he was now... he was in a Elven Hospital Room, where elves were taken to heal their wounds before being taken to prison. He became aware of the small, silver bracelet on his left wrist with a small, blue gem set in it. It was a bracelet that made any kind of magic impossible... and as he looked around, he was sure there were magical barriers around the room.  
  
But you came anyway, Bernard smiled at them, suddenly filled with wonder. They knew, but they still believed in him. It was enough to send small tears down his face, but he held them back. Scott spoke up next.  
  
Of course. They aren't... true, are they? Santa managed a weak smile. And suddenly, Bernard was filled with rage. No, they weren't there for him... they were there to try and prove their own, pitiful doubts about his identity. But they were wrong. The horrors of his identity were as true as his devotion for the light elves... Scott and Carol didn't care about him.  
  
Oh, but they are, he snarled, a wicked smile on his face. Carol immediately dropped his hand and leapt back when she saw the calm brown of his eyes turn to leaping flames, specks of red dotting them.  
  
You... you're... Carol stuttered, tears streaming down her face, which only made Bernard's grin spread.  
  
A Dark Elf? A murderer? Of course... I'm D.E.-712, Second Assasin, a loyal servant of the Dark One, he replied.  
  
How could you, Bernard?! he switched his gaze to Scott Calvin, who looked just as horrified.  
  
Murder? Oh, it really is simple. In fact, I've learned to enjoy it! I've been a Dark Elf since the New Years after your second Christmas, a strange sort of joy spread through him as he saw the look of pain in their eyes, staring at him as if he were in animal, eyes filled with disbelief.  
  
You could have killed them all... the North Pole elves... they're so innocent...  
  
Bernard cried, pain suddenly consuming him. DON'T YOU GET IT?! THAT'S WHY WE HATE THEM! They live lives of happiness and laughter while we're forced into darkness... why do you think I was the only elf who ever grew up?!  
  
Why not just let them live in their innocence?! Scott challenged, but he and Carol immediately jumped away as Bernard let out a cry of anger. He launched forward, ready to shake them back and forth by their necks until they understood, but magic around him held him back, though the flame in his eyes dimmed not at all.   
  
WHY SHOULDN'T THEY KNOW THE HARSH REALITIES OF THE WORLD?! IF THEY CAN'T LEARN IT ON THEIR OWN, WE WILL TEACH THEM WHAT MURDER IS! Bernard shouted. NONE OF US WILL EVER BE INNOCENT AGAIN!  
  
Have you killed... any of them...? Scott asked, a strange fear in his voice. Truth be told, Bernard hadn't killed any North Pole elves, but he wasn't going to let them know that.  
  
Of course I have, his wicked sneer spread further. Carol covered her mouth with her hands before burrying her face in her husband's clothes, consumed in an unbelievable grief, pain filling her till it leaked from her eyes and loud sobs shaking her shoulders as they filled the room.  
  
Come on, Carol, Scott took a firm grip on his wife's arm and moved towards the door.  
  
Go ahead then. Go back to your worlds of light. Forget about Bernard, trapped in the darkness forever. Forget I ever existed. Claim I am nothing. Write me out of the name of Christmas forever, Bernard sneered at them, causing Scott to look one last time at Bernard before leaving. Leave me here... Bernard mumbled feebly before shrinking down onto the the bed, half surprised to find tears streaming down his face.  
  
~*~  
  
Carol and Scott hurried down the hall, trying to get as far away as they could. They were both watching the floor, both of their visions blurred by tears, and they ended up running smack dab into Kae.  
  
Kae... what a pleasant surprise, Carol had seen Kae often back when Bernard was head elf. They'd talked a bit and she found Kae amusingly like the kids back home, a kind of elf that made the North Pole seem completely like the home she left. What're... what're you ding here?  
  
I'm going to see Bernard, Kae replied. And you... two... Reality washed over Kae. Ooooooh damnit... she muttered under her breath as both of their expressions changed to fear and pain.  
  
Scott instructed her. He... he...  
  
He's a Dark Elf! Carol broke down into sobs and proceeded towards the exit. Kae, without a moment's hesitation, was sprinting back down the hall towards Bernard's room repeating, Oh damnit, oh damnit, over and over again.  
  
She flung open the door to his room and stopped dead in her tracks. He was alone in the room, his hair shadowing his face as he stared at his hands. Kae felt a wave of sympathy for him, replacing the fear that had held her since when she found out. Her only relief came from the fact that he was still alive... the Dark One hadn't killed him. Yet.  
  
  
  
It's over, he cut her off, his face still shadowed under black locks. This is my conclusion. My story ends here. It's all over.  
  
What are you talking about? Kae asked, slightly frightened of what the answer would be.  
  
They hate me... I told them about the murders... the color drained from Kae's face.  
  
Did you... tell them you'd killed any North Pole elves? she asked, fear holding her by the throat.  
  
Bernard replied, slowly bringing his head up to show bloodshot eyes, their sparkle fading, cheeks wet as he let small sobs escape him. I told them... Kae felt her heart slowly breaking as she stared at him, so she tore her eyes away and instead let them rest on the ground.  
  
Bernard... Abbey was killed not long before your capture, Bernard's eyes widened in horror at this statement. They'll think you were the one who murdered her. Now, Bernard understood why Carol's face had twisted so. Tears began to crawl down Kae's face. She was tortured for hours, begging for mercy and screaming, especially for Judy. She even shouted your name...  
  
And suddenly, Abbey flickered through his mind. That sweet, little elf... she couldn't be dead! Abbey... sweet little Abbey, following in Judy's footprints. More than anything, she wanted to be like Judy, and to be able to take over her older sister's job when Judy left. She had loved her sister with all her heart, and had shone just as radianty, the shadow of her wonderful sister over herself never dimming her spirits. But also, she wanted to follow Bernad. One day, she wanted to be Head Elf. She had always looked up to him with utmost respect, loving him almost like a brother. He remember Abbey on days when she had made him smile.  
  
_ Oooh... Santa... you look...  
  
Like he got a good night sleep!  
  
...Like you got a VERY good night sleep!_  
  
She had always been able to make him smile on the worst of his days... warming his heart in both person and memories such as when she had told Scott how to propose to Carol. That little elf had meant much to him... and now she was gone? Little, smiling Abbey, gone forever?  
  
And suddenly, visions of her under Dark Elf Magic spread through his mind. He saw her eyes, full of fear before the red enveloped her. He saw her lying on the ground, screaming as she cried, shuddering violently from pain and sobs. He didn't want to believe it, but somehow, he knew this was how the innocent, young elf had spent her last hours...  
  
he barely managed before his eyes filled with tears that began to spill as he fell forward, and Kae immediately pulled him into an embrace. She could faintly hear him sobbing as she rocked him back and forth, Abbey... Abbey...  
  
She would never become the Naughty-and-Nice elf. She would never be able to deliver cocoa everyone admired. She would never become the Head Elf. All her dreams had been drowned out by the very organization that Bernard had worked for.   
  
~*~  
  
Curtis held Judy tightly, the undying and unwavering rivers down her flawless face making him cringe. Around them, the funeral held the faces of many other crying elves, though none were even vaguely aware of the pain Judy felt. She hadn't been their sister. When it came time for Judy to say her practised speech, Curtis squeezed her hand before letting it go, and she walked to the front, lifting her tear-stained face.  
  
Abbey was one of the happiest elves I've seen in all my long years. She was always reaching for some goal, no matter what it was, and she didn't give up. She was the light in all of our lives, filling all our days with laughter, always there when we needed to see someone's smiling face. It is a great loss to all of us that she will never be here again... never... again... Judy had held herself for so long, but now, she couldn't take it anymore. Curtis was immediately at her side as she fell to her knees, unable to stand, unbearable sorrow making her whole world spin. Slowly, Curtis helped her to her feet, leading her back to their seats. Carol took Judy's place, tears visible down her face as well.   
  
As Judy said, Abbey always wanted to be remembered. She wanted to follow in her sisters footsteps, but more than that, she wanted to follow in Bernard's footsteps, she had to pause a moment to let a few, silent sobs pass, trying hard to stay standing. She regretted what she had to tell the elves next, but it was something they had to know. She was always striving to be like Bernard, for she wanted to be the Head Elf. I think he was her role model... she loved him dearly, and I think she was more devastated than any of us when he left. I found her crying in her room the next morning, her pillow wet with tears, for she had been crying all night long. And I think she missed him more than any of us. Yet despite how much she loved him... he didn't care, Carol saw everyone's face fall into shock, a couple of them shouting their doubts at her. She simply held up a hand to silence them.  
  
Judy saw Bernard as a brother, and he had us fooled into thinking he loved her like a sister. I regret to announce... to announce that... Carol bit her lip and forced the lump in her throat down, staring at all the faces around her, trying hard not to cry as they waited with wide eyes. She knew that nothing could get her out of what she had to say next, yet at the same time, there was nothing that could prepare them for what she had to say. And that simple sentence, she knew, would change them forever.   
  
Bernard was the Dark Elf that killed her.  
  
The snowly clearing nearly exploded, the boy elves screaming their doubts, the girl elves sobbing in disbelief. Almost all of them looked over at Santa, waiting to see him shout that it wasn't true... but when they saw the tears down his own face, the color in his cheeks drained away, they knew it was true and all hope faded.  
  
Bernard tortured Abbey for hours. She screamed for mercy, yet he showed none. When we found her, her body was gruesome and twisted, and it took many hours before we could even guess at who she was. Even then, she was so brutally deformed that we couldn't distinguish her until we realized that Abbey was missing.   
  
Bernard didn't show her any mercy... he didn't even show her the mercy of killing her, but instead waited until her body could no longer take the pain he forced upon her. She loved him with all her heart, yet he killed her with the most brutal death in the history of the Dark Elves, Carol wiped away tears, though more quickly ran down her face as she stepped off stage, silently praying for the young elf who had been the light of so many lives.   
  
And over the elves washed a feeling they had never felt before. They had never known hate, and it burned to hate the elf who had greeted them every day, always pushing them with strict rules and angering them often, yet they always realized he only wanted them to do their very best, and under him they always did. It burned to hate Bernard in his baggy, velvet clothes, small locks of black coming out from under a green beret, bordering his face and glittering, chocolate eyes. None of them could see him trying to kill Abbey, but it was the truth. He was a traitor... a cold-blooded, heartless murderer, killing the very one who strived so much to be just like him.  
  
None of them were aware of a she-elf hidden in the bushes, watching the funeral process, grieved in a different way than any of them. She was grieved knowing that they didn't know. She was grieved knowing that Bernard was innocent, yet everyone else didn't know and may have never known. From beside her, she heard another she-elf sob and a he-elf pulled her into an embrace, rocking her back and forth.  
  
Shhh... Jacey... Perrin spoke soothingly, holding the one he loved. It grieved Kae to know that the one she loved couldn't hold her the way he held Jacey, for he was gone. He was locked away for a crime he commited yet at the same time, a crime he didn't commit.   
  
She didn't cry, though. Instead, her eyes hardened in determination as she got to her feet.  
  
We'll get him out, she told them before turning her eyes to them. I know it. And with that, they all dissapeared, reappering at their Head Quarters where they might be able to get Bernard out. Kae wasn't hoping she could get a bit of tinsel... She was hoping to get Bernard's Pass. As she had told him in a recent visit, when the knew positions had been filled in the place of Christy, Ian, and Ron, they had also come up with letters of pardon for every gray elf, so that in time of need it they were captured, they could get out...  
  
~*~  
  
Bernard sat in his cell, pulled into a corner, unfocused eyes resting on the ground. He hadn't seen sunlight in over two months... he had grown thin and weak. Frequently, he saw an elf being carried away, dead. They had given up. He was surprised that he himself wasn't dead, for though Kae had told him of the pardon to get him out, he knew that if he used it, the Dark One could track him by his Kurai and he would be dead in no time. The only way he'd be set free is if the Dark One was killed.  
  
Slowly, he traced his hand over the silver bracelet, looking for any deflect that may allow him to get it off and escape. With this on, he couldn't get through the magical barrier's around unless it was turned off somehow... Suddenly, he heard a voice sounding very much like Perrin's swear and then he heard a thump on his door before everything went quiet again.  
  
Well, that was different.   
  
Suddenly, there was a loud explosion, and to his surprise, the stone door that had forever cut him off from the world he loved began to slide open. Slowly, he rose to his feet, shielding his eyes and allowing his eyes to reajust to the light, for no matter how small it really was, it burned after no light for over sixty days. When it had creaked all the way open, his eyes fell upon two faces, Jacey's tearstained and Perrin's determined.   
  
We used the pardon... Jacey said, trying not to cry.  
  
Why?! And... where's Kae... anger quickly changed to fear, and one look into their eyes told him all he needed to know.  
  
She's gone.  
  
~*~  
  
Bernard stood alone in the doorway of Kae's room. Night had fallen, leaving him nothing but a shadow. He had searched the house three times over, but she was nowhere to be found. She had fled... taking very little. He knew what she wanted to do.  
  
She... she wouldn't go alone, would she? Bernard asked, returning to the living room where Jacey and Perrin sat on the couch.  
  
Who knows, Bernard? Jacey answered question with question. She and Perrin exchanged glances, and then they all hung their heads. The thing was, they did know... well, they could certainly guess:  
  
Kae, completely and utterly alone, could have gone to kill the Dark One or she could have gone to HQ to get reinforcements and then go. Kae was a determined soul, and Bernard got the feeling she was going to either kill the Dark One or die trying... and the second seemed far more likely.  
  
Then I'll go after her, Bernard finally said. Jacey might as well have just exploded right then.  
  
NO YOU CAN'T! KAE'S ALREADY GONE... NOT YOU TOO! WE CAN'T LOSE YOU BOTH! the red-head was on her feet, emerald eyes dancing.  
  
I have to, Jacey! Bernard replied, snapping his gaze up to meet hers. he hung his head again. And suddenly, Jacey understood. One glance at Perrin and she realized what he must have been feeling... Sighing and defeated, she sat back down on the couch.  
  
her voice was timid, eyes on the ground and Perrin put his arm around her, pulling her closer.  
  
I'll go the HQ first to see if she's there. If not... he didn't need to go farther. The other Gray Elves knew what he meant. Slowly, Bernard got to his feet.  
  
Perrin's voice stopped him and he swivelled around to meet the bright blue eyes. I'll go to the HQ. Even if she went there, she'd have left by now. I'll get reinforcements... you just go to the Dark One! Though his voice was fierce, he managed a very small smile, to which Bernard nodded in reply.   
  
Good luck, Jacey's voice was the last he heard before he dissapeared.  
  
~*~  
  
But Bernard didn't go to the Dark One's lair... no, he wanted to do one other thing. He knew it was risky, but he had to try. As he stood in the darkness, he knew not what he had to say, but only that he had to at least make an attempt. Gulping slightly, he leaned forward and gently shook Curtis's shoulder, getting down on his knees next to the bed of Curtis's room.  
  
Curtis asked groggily.  
  
Curtis... it's me, Bernard hissed, making the young elf sit up slightly. It was then he saw Bernard.  
  
he seethed, crawling backwards with wild eyes. Get away from me! What are you doing here?!  
  
Curtis, please, just listen- Curtis cut him off.  
  
NO! GET OUT OF HERE! YOU DON'T BELONG HERE- Bernard jumped to his feet and clapped his hand to Curtis's mouth, anger flickering in his chocolate yes.  
  
Curtis, listen to me! he snarled. And suddenly, he saw the look in Curtis's eyes... it was that of fear, complete and utter fear. The small elf was shaking in Bernard's hands, shaking from fright of one he had once admired so. Upon realization, Bernard immediately let go of Curtis and stepped back. I'm sorry... he mumbled, his head hung.  
  
What do you want? Bernard raised his head in a wave of black locks to meet Curtis's gaze. His voice was so full of fear that it even seemed as if there was a small sob in it, his body still racking.   
  
I want... I want to tell you the truth, Bernard admitted. A small smile touched his lips when he saw hope spring to life in Curtis's eyes.  
  
he leaned forward a little. Bernard hesitated, unsure of what to say, eyes resting on the eager, child-like creature before him. You didn't kill all those people? It's just a huge mistake? Bernard had to laugh, though he tried to keep it as light as possible. Shaking his head and still laughing, he replied:  
  
No, I did kill them, he suddenly realized his mistake. Anger replaced all fear in Curtis.  
  
You don't care at all... YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THE LIVES YOU EFFECT, DO YOU?! And what about Abbey?! You tortured her! She loved you and you killed her! YOU KILLED HER! And suddenly, the young elf sprung from the bed and wrapped his hands around Bernard's throat, sending both of them crashing to the ground. Bernard struggled under his hands, but Curtis's eyes were fierce with determination.  
  
I'll turn you back in... but first, I'll make you pay for what you did to her! I'LL MAKE YOU PAY! he shouted, and Bernard felt the grip on his neck tightening. He gasped for air, but none would come. WHAT ABOUT KAE?! WERE YOU GOING TO KILL HER TOO?! STRING HER ALONG FOR AWHILE AND THEN HUMILIATE HER?! SO FULL OF LIFE AND SPIRIT... WOULD YOU DROWN THAT OUT?! BEAT IT OUT OF HER THE WAY YOU DID ABBEY?! He was becoming dizzy, only vaguely aware of Curtis still screaming at him. The world was slipping away from him, yet at his words, images of Kae began running through his mind...  
  
No... I'd never do that to her, he told himself, somewhat glad that his last thoughts were of her.  
  
And suddenly, fresh, sweet air filled his lungs as Curtis was thrown off of him. Immediately, his vision cleared, and Bernard sat up and rubbed his neck.  
  
Bernard, you allright? his eyes widened in realization, his hand freezing where it was on his neck.  
  
he gasped, and the elf smiled.  
  
KAE! GET AWAY FROM HIM! HE'S A DARK ELF! HE'LL KILL YOU! Curtis cried. Kae jerked her head around to glare at him.  
  
OF COURSE HE IS! she snapped, making Curtis sit back, his shock allowing him to fall into the shadows. Kae turned back to Bernard. Are you allright?  
  
I'm... fine... Bernard replied, still rubbing his throat. Then, he looked up at her with worried eyes. Where have you been?  
  
I got the pardon for you at HQ, but when Jacey and Perrin telleported to get you out, I came back before they saw me and slipped the officials the plan, she replied, as full of life as ever.  
  
You... you mean to go through with it... on your own? Bernard asked, to which Kae smiled. Then let me go with you... let me help you!  
  
No, Bernard. I'm doing this on my own. I don't want to risk you in my battle. He almost killed off my whole world, and he won't get away with that! she grinned at him. And don't try to follow me, because after you escaped, he moved lairs out of fear that you would tell everyone where he was. You won't be able to find him.  
  
Kae... you can't go alone! Bernard tried to protest, but when Kae's mind was made up, there was no going back. I murdered so many... I need to kill him now! Let me help you!  
  
You aren't strong enough. Besides, I'll be fine. I won't let the Dark One get to me. I'll fight with every fiber of strength in me, and I'll win, her grin turned to a soft smile and she ran her fingers across his cheek. I'll win. I leave in several days, when I will not tell you, to where I will not tell you, and where I'm staying I will not tell you. But I can tell you that I will triumph over the shadow that has befallen our lives.  
  
How can you be so sure? Bernard asked as she got to her feet, her back turned to him. She stopped in her tracks. The small smile still playing her lips and her eyes glittering like tiny gems, she turned her head to peer at him from over her shoulder.  
  
I can't die... because I'm going to be a Mommy, and you're going to be a Daddy, with one last wink, she dissapeared, leaving Bernard to gape into the darkness, a look of complete disbelief on his face, fumbling for words that weren't there, tears brimming in his eyes.   
  
he turned to meet the frightened gaze of Curtis, still crouched in the shadows. What's going on? You... she knows, but she... she...loves...  
  
I can't tell you, Curtis, but I will give you this hint, Bernard said as he got to his feet, tears running down his face, but a smile betraying them. Dark Elves can't love. And with that, he dissapeared.  
  
~*~  
  
Bernard hadn't been able to concentrate the last couple of days. He, Perrin, and Jacey had been together almost everyday, trying to occupy themselves, telling stories of Kae to keep her memory alive, praying for her safety. It was insane... utter madness to go alone! It was impossible... but none of them wanted to admit that. None of them wanted to admit how small the possibilites of them ever seeing Kae again where. It was a week later as Bernard sat alone in his living room that he heard a knock on his door.   
  
Hope filled him, a smile of disbelief crossing his face as he ran to it and threw it open, ready to embrace Kae and whisper sweet nothings into her ear. But his smile quickly faded when he was greated by a normal man.  
  
Are you Bernard? he asked.  
  
Yes, I am, he replied, his smile gone and looking like it was never there.  
  
Oh, well I've been sent to deliver a message to you, he handed a small piece of paper to Bernard. He accepted it with shaking hands, hoping against hope that it was a letter from Kae, telling him that she was allright and would be home soon... home and in his arms. He tore it open eagerly, preparing himself for the shock of Kae's words... However, nothing could have prepared him for the three simple words printed on that paper, tears blotting it to where they were barely distinguishable... yet they were, glittering up at him like a demon of the night, three simple words:  
  
Kae is dead.  
-Jacey  
  
And as the entire world crashed down around him, like a pouring rain, memories of her danced through his mind... memories of her smiles, her laughs, even her insults. Kae... sweet Kae...   
  
But no matter how many times he told himself it wasn't true, the words on the page didn't change. She was gone... truly gone...  
  
Forever.  
  
~*~  
  


She's trapped inside her room,  
With reruns on the screen,  
Old books and movies,  
But she can't stop thinking.  
  
I'm torn between myself,  
My radio, my friends,  
I want to write this one of,  
Over and over and over again...  
  
And then she looked at me to scream,  
My castles are falling!  
And I can't look into the street,  
Without everything changing...  
  
I want to read good news, good news,  
I want to be innocent again,  
I want to read good news, good news,  
But nothing good is happening...  
  
She waits all day,  
She stands a stranger in her skin,  
And she moves the science,  
With her hands.  
  
She lines her walls,  
With every paper she can see,  
These words consume her,  
But they never set her free...  
  
And then she looked at me to scream,  
My castles are falling!  
And I can't look into the street,  
Without everything changing...  
  
I want to read good news, good news,  
I want to be innocent again,  
I want to read good news, good news,  
But nothing good is happening...  
  
But nothing good is happening...  
But nothing good is happening...!  
  
I want to read good news, good news,  
I want to be a little kid again,  
I want to read good news, good news,  
But nothing good is happening...  
  
I want to read good news, good news,  
I want to go to sleep at night again,  
I want to read good news, good news,  
But nothing good is happening...  
  
But nothing good is happening...  
But nothing good is happening...!  
  


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
A/N: This song makes sense too! You know... I wanna be innocent again' as in he wants to have never witnessed Dark Elf Magic and I wanna be a little kid again' because all the innocent elves are children. ^_^   
  


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REVIEW!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!**


	7. Movin' On

A/N: Can you believe it? This is the last chapter (if you don't count the epilouge)!! I can finally say I don't believe you will kill me for the ending... well, it being the last chapter and all, I don't really think I can leave it a cliffie, do you?? ^_^ Well, here is my last chapter, and I hope you all enjoy... by the way, if you have the Good Charlotte CD, I recommend listening to Movin' On', the last song on the CD because it definately sumarizes what they're feeling... actually, it will put you in the wrong mood for the beginning of the chapter, so I'll insert a little note for ya'! ^_^ Well, enjoy the last chapter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  


**Movin' On  
****chapter 6  
  
Good Charlotte - Movin' On  
  
**When I think about my life,  
I wonder if I will survive,  
To live to see 25,  
Or will I just fall?  
  
Like all my friends,  
They just keep dying,  
People round me always crying,  
In this place that I like to call my home.  
  
But not everybody knows,  
That everybody goes,  
To a better place.  
And not everybody knows,  
That everybody could be living,  
Their last days.  
  
But the hard times will come,  
And we'll keep movin' on,  
We're movin' up,  
Keep movin' on...  
  
Life, hope, truth, trust, faith, pride, love, lust,  
On without the things we've lost,  
The things we've gained we'll take with us...  
  
And all I've got are these two hands,  
To make myself a better man,  
I wonder if I'll ever see,  
The end of this.  
  
With all this rain, it just keeps falling,  
On my head and now I'm calling,  
Out to someone else to help me,  
Make it through...  
  
But not everybody knows,  
That everybody goes,  
To a better place.  
And not everybody knows,  
That everybody could be living,  
Their last days.  
  
But the hard times will come,  
And we'll keep movin' on,  
We're movin' up,  
Keep movin' on...  
  
Life, hope, truth, trust, faith, pride, love, lust,  
Pain, hate, lies, guilt, laugh, cry, live, die,  
Some friends become enemies,  
Some friends become you family,  
Make the best with what you're given,  
This ain't dying, this is living!  
  
Said we're movin' on,  
And we've got nothing to prove,  
To anyone,  
Cause we'll get through,  
We're movin' on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and On and on and on and on and on and on and on...  
Keep movin' on...  
  
Life, hope, truth, trush, faith, pride, love, lust,  
Pain, hate, lies, guilt, laugh, cry, live, die,  
Some friends become enemies,  
Some friends become you family,  
Make the best of what you're given,  
This ain't dying, this is living!  
  


~*~  
  
In his hands Bernard held a picture. It was a simple picture that would have no meaning to anyone... except him, that is. Yet another tear fell from his cheek and onto the glass covering it, where he let it stay.  
  
The picture was of him as the Head Elf. It was taken on the staircase in front of the North Pole, with him and Santa in the very center, Curtis smiling at his side and Judy and Abbey on the other side of Santa, as well as every elf spread out across the stairs. Confetti littered the ground, and everyone was smiling, including him. He was truly smiling.  
  
It had been taken before he became a Dark Elf, back in the days when he was still innocent... to some degree. Now, more than ever, he wished that things were like this again... smiling, happy, and full of life. He wished he had never learned of the Dark Elves, never thrown his whole life away, never plunged into a world of darkness. It would have meant he had never met Jacey, Perrin, and Kae, but then again, wouldn't that mean he wouldn't be feeling this horrible pain? He wouldn't feel his heart torn in two as he set the picture down next to one of him, Kae, Jacey and Perrin on a Thursday night when they had gotten particularily drunk. He looked at Kae's smiling face... no, she couldn't be gone... how could one, simple person drown her out? How could the light inside her be shut out? He pulled the picture close to him, hugging it to his chest and silently sobbing as tears spilled onto the floor. He had nowhere to run now... Kae wouldn't be there for him. Jacey and Perrin were just as grieved as he. The North Pole hated him... there was no place he could go. Nothing he could do. Nowhere he could run.  
  
Nowhere to run.  
  
~*~  
  
Jacey sat curled up next to Perrin, crying into his chest as he held her close, his bright blue eyes dull in his pain. Jacey let a sob escape and he pulled her closer. For a week, they had waited, waiting for some sign of life from Kae. Yet after a week, Jacey had had a dream. She had seen Kae thrown to the ground, pain pressing down all around her, blood running from her body. She had seen the fierce determination in her eyes, fighting for everything she was, everything she had, and everything she could be...  
  
And it wasn't enough.  
  
She had seen Kae blown backwards off her feet again. And then, as she slowly got to her feet, her eyes widened in fear. Jacey had woken up screaming just before the red had consumed her.  
  
Somehow, she knew it was true. As she had described the dream to Perrin, he had seen it in his head, sparked by her words and was able to tell her details that she had left out. She had written to Bernard, and he had sent no reply. Who would expect him to?  
  
She's gone, Perrin, she muttered softly into his chest, and he set his head down on her shoulder, both of them sobbing, holding each other for fear of losing the other if they let go.   
  
~*~  
  
that voice... it was haunting, seeming almost hollow, yet comforting at the same time. Slowly, he lifted his tear-stained face to meet the speaker's eyes.  
  
And there she was. Kae... her body was white and she was hovering off the ground, but there she was, her face inches from him.  
  
Bernard started, but pain filled him at her name. Are you... are you...?  
  
A ghost? she laughed. No, I'm just an image...  
  
An image, Bernard's eyes brightened in hope, making Kae laugh.  
  
Yes. Bernard... he has not conquered me yet. I bestowed the image of our fight upon Jacey, hoping she would realize, but she misunderstood. I gifted it to Perrin, but he took it the same way. No, the Dark One did not kill me, Bernard, unbelievable joy spread through Bernard, tears springing to his eyes, when suddenly he realized what it had to mean.  
  
  
  
Yes, Bernard, Kae nodded. He is holding me prisoner. Bernard... be careful! He is using me as a trap to lure you back, because he wants to kill you. More than anyone, he wants you dead.  
  
Then why not track me? Bernard asked, and Kae laughed lightly.  
  
He wishes pain upon the one who defied him. You stood up to him the way no one else did... you told him of how you broke every law he laid down and how you resisted the magic the Kurai will usually give off, a kind of magic that would make loving impossible. He hates you for it, and he sees you as one who could appose him. That's why he wants you to come to him so that he can kill you in front of me... he knows about us, Bernard. He knows it will grieve you to know you were murdered in front of me... and thats why he wants you to come to him, Kae's words somehow made sense to Bernard now. Yet at the same time, he realized how horrible this really was. He couldn't wait any longer, for the Dark One might decide to greet him instead with Kae's dead body. No... he had to go quickly. He'd get Perrin to bring reinforcements... yes, that's what he would do! And he'd hurry...  
  
Kae, I will come, he told her, and Kae seemed to swallow back the urge to cry.  
  
Just don't get yourself killed, Bernard! she ordered, trying to look her fierce self but failing pitifully. Bernard just laughed and reached out towards her. Kae slowly lifted her hand, reaching to touch her fingertips to his.  
  
Of course, she was only an image, so neither of them felt it physically, but as their hands hovered together in midair, they felt like they were together again.  
  
Suddenly, Kae's face twisted in horror and pain. She seemed as if she were trying to stay, but something was pulling her back and up.  
  
Bernard cried as she reached out towards him, but she was slipping backwards.  
  
Bernard, the Dark One took something else of yours! He took- but in that conveinent moment, Kae dissapeared.  
  
~*~  
  
Bernard sat straight up, breathing heavily. He looked down to see he had fallen asleep on the table he had placed his pictures on, and in his hands he still held the picture of him and the other three grey elves. He wiped away the tears that had been real in both life and dream, determination taking their place. He set the picture down next to the one of him at the North Pole before getting to his feet and dissapearing.  
  
~*~  
  
Jacey lifted her head from Perrin's chest, a bit surprised that he hadn't appeared outside her door and knocked like he usually did. However, when she and Perrin saw the look in his eyes, they quickly forgave him.  
  
What is it? Perrin asked, getting to his feet.  
  
Kae is alive, his reply was short and simple, but the other two elves cringed back and hung their heads.  
  
Bernard, we saw the Dark One kill her...  
  
No you didn't! Bernard shouted back at them. Listen to me... she spoke to me in a dream. That wasn't the Dark One killing her... he was taking her captive! He wants me to come rescue her so that he can kill me... she sent you those images in hopes that you would realize she was being held, but you both took it as her being dead, so she came to me. Jacey and Perrin exchanged glances, not sure whether to be overjoyed or deep in sorrow. Perrin, however, quickly realized what Bernard meant and smiled affectionately at him.  
  
Yes, I'll go to HQ and get the elves. You just go rescue your princess, Jacey giggled a bit at Perrin's words before standing up suddenly.  
  
OH! You don't know where his knew lair is...  
  
You know?!  
  
Yes! I got a summon last night!  
  
A few minutes later, they all dissapeared, each of them knowing that whoever won and whoever was killed would change their lives forever.  
  
~*~  
  
Bernard found himself in a dark, dreary cave. It was haunting, and as he proceeded down the dark tunnel, he often spun around to make sure no one was following him. Man times he had to fight the urge to turn around and run, but thinking of Kae kept him going. When he finally came to the room, nothing could have prepared him for what he saw.  
  
The room was extremely large with stone stairs leading up to a platform in the back of the room, a couple hundred feet up. Kae was in chains held against the dark, back stone wall, anger flickering in her eyes. But what really hit him was that there was another chained up against the wall, tears running down his face, blood smeared all over him... Kae's words drifted through his head:  
  
_Bernard, the Dark One took something else of yours! He took-_  
  
Bernard cried, causing two heads to look up and the Dark One to spin around.  
  
Kae cried, chest heaving, torn between relief and fear, tears falling from the corners of her eyes. The Dark One didn't seem quite as happy to see Bernard.  
  
Well well well... if its isn't 712, how nice of you to join us! Really, you've come just in time to see the death of your best friend here, he gestured at Curtis, who's eyes widened. Though Bernard didn't know it, they weren't widening at the thought of his own death. Best friend? What was the Dark One talking about?!  
  
I won't let you touch him, Bernard seethed, his fists clenching, red sparks dancing in them, though this time, red didn't cloud his eyes. They shone brilliantly, for he was not 712. No... he was Bernard, and he always would be. He almost laughed, though, when he saw how utterly shocked Curtis seemed.  
  
You know, I often wonder why someone with as much promise as you would throw it all away, the Dark One's wicked sneer became visible.   
  
I didn't throw it all away. I've been working for the Light the whole time! Bernard retorted and he heard Curtis let out a strangled gasp.  
  
Oh really... the sneer grew even wider. Suddenly, he heard Kae scream.  
  
BERNARD! LOOK OUT! he dove to the side as the Dark One's hands came out from behind his back and red struck the air where he had been only moments before.  
  
HA! You missed that one, but now you're helpless on the floor, the Dark One cackled. But I won't let you die that painlessly. No... I have a better idea... Bernard, by this time had gotten to his feet. However, his Kurai suddenly burned like hell, making him cry out and clench his hands as it seemed to explode in fire. Then, as quickly as it had come, the pain vanished and when he opened his eyes, he saw that instead of red sparks, he held a red sword in his right hand. He looked up to see the Dark One holding one much larger than his own, glowing black with red around the edges.   
  
Well... aren't you going to fight me? he asked. Bernard snapped.  
  
With a cry of fury, he ran forward and up the steps. Using all his might, he leapt up into the air, which was rather high considering he was a nimble elf. As he came down towards the Dark One, his opponent simply held up his sword and met Bernards. Sparks flew everywhere as their magic met and Bernard tried to hold out against the Dark One.  
  
Suddenly, he was blown backwards. He flew through the air at an amazing speed, screaming in pain. He crashed down onto the floor where he lay still, dust rising into the air around him.  
  
Kae screamed, tears streaming down her face, yet he still didn't move.  
  
Curtis mumbled silently, and found that he too was crying. The Dark One just laughed. He started walking forward and dissapeared before reappearing not far from where Bernard lay. He flicked his sword and suddenly, red energy enveloped Bernard, causing him to scream in pain as he was snapped awake.  
  
Kae screamed as the energy faded and Bernard slumped back down onto the floor. Slowly and painfully, he opened his eyes, trying hard to sit up.  
  
Woudln't it be a shame for the one you love to see you die? he cackled. Suddenly, Bernard launched at him again, but with another flick of his wrist, the Dark One sent Bernard's sword flying away from him. Bernard tried to make another one, but suddenly, he realized something:  
  
When his Kurai had burned, that had been the Dark One transforming his magic so all of it was contained in that little sword that now lay on the other side of the room. That was all of his Dark Elf Magic...  
  
Bernard barely had time to duck as the sword thundered past him, but the sheer power of it sent him flying backwards despite the fact that it had missed and he once again lay on the ground. Pathetic... and I thought you would be the one to follow in my place one day.  
  
Why do you do this? Bernard groaned, once again trying to sit up, blood dribbling from the corner of his mouth.  
  
Why do you think I do this? his eyes darkened and as he shouted, he raised his sword to strike Bernard down for good, I want an end to the Light Elves! Bernard simply stared up at him, shaking from the strain, though anger flickered in his eyes.  
  
A sudden scream behind them made them both snap their heads up.  
  
Kae's scream was that of anger and fear. Suddenly, in a flash, the entire room was enveloped in blue light, the brightest of it being the aura around the small elf. The chains binding her shattered away and she lowered her fists so that they were clenched at her sides, tears streaming down her face and teeth clenched in rage. I won't let you hurt Bernard!  
  
What is this power? the Dark One snarled.   
  
A power that you do not possess, he spun around to see Bernard on his feet, glaring at him and fists clenched at his sides, eyes narrowed darkly.   
  
Lord Agurakki, I'm warning you! The Dark One seemed thoroughly surprised at being adressed by his real name. MOVE AWAY FROM BERNARD!  
  
What will you do? Agurakki sneered back. Kae let out a loud growl and snapped her hands out in front of her, holding them an inch apart. Suddenly, the blue around them started swirling, all drawn towards her hands and forming a glowing, blue ball. She snapped her hands out and suddenly, it came thundering forward. Agurakki had no time to dodge it and it hit him square in the face. He snapped his hands to his face and bent over, screaming in pain. Kae stood for only a moment, the blue around her fading to the normal color of the room before she slumped to the ground.  
  
Bernard was sprinting up the steps in no time, falling to his knees beside her and drawing her onto his lap. He heard a small pop behind him and saw Curtis falling to his knees, the chains gone, eyes wide.  
  
Curtis had tears of disbelief brimming in his eyes, but Bernard only smiled at him.  
  
I am a Grey Elf... I was never a Dark Elf, Bernard reassured him before turning to Kae, who was struggling to open her eyes.  
  
You did it Kae! he told her, beads of joy running down his face.  
  
Kae managed to get it out in a strangled gasp, causing Bernard's smile to fade. She opened her blue eyes, though they were only slits, and looked extremely distressed.   
  
What do you mean- a sudden explosion from below made all three jerk their heads around. Agurakki's face shattered as if it had been only a mask, white pieces falling into all directions, his body becoming nothing but swirling black. Slowly, it began to form, taking shape. A long head pulled out with two, blood red slits of eyes and a long mouth opened to reveal rows of long, sharp fangs. He watched as the rest of Agurakki took shape until down below stood a giant, black dragon, spreading wide wings and growling menacingly.  
  
You must... fight him Bernard... Kae told him.  
  
How?! The sword... Bernard cried as he turned back to Kae. Agurakki was looking at his long, clawed front feet, clenching and unclenching his fingers in a sense of power.  
  
Don't rely on Dark Magic...! Kae told him, and a small smile played her lips. Use your own power...  
  
But you...  
  
Don't worry about me, Kae tried to smile at him again. I already told you... I'm not going to die, because I have to be a mother, she lifted a hand and placed it on her stomach, which Bernard stared at with glassy eyes, but he smiled back at her and took her hand in his.  
  
And I'm going to be a father, he replied. Kae's smile spread just a bit before her eyes shut and her body became limp. Bernard set her gently down before turning to Curtis, who's eyes were still shedding tears, but he was smiling slightly.  
  
Watch over her, Bernard told him, smiling back, before turning and getting to his feet, fists clenched at his sides. He dissapeared and reappeared in front of the giant dragon. Agurakki snapped his head up to face Bernard, baring his teeth.  
  
Fool! You dare to stand against the power of the Dark One?! he snarled.   
  
You at one time were nothing more than an ordinary elf with infanite hatred, Bernard replied.   
  
Curtis looked down to see Kae slowly sitting up, and he stabled her before both of them watched, worry in their eyes.  
  
I'm not afraid of you, Bernard seethed. That did it.  
  
I WILL PAINT MY WALLS WITH YOUR BLOOD! he cried before red light shot forward from his hands, smashing into Bernard and all around him. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as Bernard's calm eyes widened in surprise, and then everything exploded. Smoke covered the area and Agurakki laughed, horrible and cruel.  
  
Curtis screamed, reaching out but Kae grabbed his hand and held it tightly in her's, so he burried his face in her shoulder.  
  
Now, for you two... Agurakki turned to them, but suddenly, he saw something out of the corner of his eye and twisted his long neck back around to see what it was. WHAT?! HOW CAN THAT BE?! As the smoke cleared, Bernard was visible standing there, a barrier of light around him. He held his hands out and slowly, the barrier began to swirl into his hands, making the same type of ball that Kae's did. He suddenly clenched his fists and a sword formed, though one of light instead of darkness.  
  
In my hands I hold the power of the light, and light will always beat the dark, Bernard said with strange calmness, and Curtis snapped his head up to stare at the one he had thought was dead, the very tears on his face freezing in place.   
  
THE LIGHT WILL NEVER WIN! Agurakki shouted before smashing his hands into the ground. Suddenly, black vines with thorns all around them broke out of the walls and ground, making Bernard leap into the air. Shimmering white magic surrounded him, allowing him to move through the air, never hitting the ground, dodging the strikes at him.  
  
Kae screamed in fear, but the only thing Bernard's eyes held was determination. He dodged one last swipe from a thorny vine before putting his foot down on a vine's bare spot and launching himself into the air, sword held over his head. Slowly, he came down towards Agurakki, ready to stab. Time seemed to slow and as Bernard fell, and instead of seeing himself falling towards a dragon, he saw a young elven boy, head turned to the side and eyes closed. As Bernard fell through the air, he slowly opened his eyes, turning himself to face Bernard, a look of fear in his eyes.  
  
And then Bernard's sword slashed straight down the middle of the dragon. Instead of blood, light sprayed in all directions. As his sword hit the flesh, an image flashed through Bernard's head. He saw a small, crying boy in a corner, drenched in the rain, abandoned and lonely.  
  
You never had anyone...? Bernard asked, shocked and for once, feeling slight pity.  
  
I guess I'll forever remain alone in the darknes... a small boy's voice sobbed, light consuming his face. And as light exploded from the dark body, darkness fading into nothing, a loud scream filled the room before fading away.   
  
The Dark One had been defeated.  
  
~*~   
(A/N: If you have the Good Charlotte Cd, listen to the last song on there, called Movin On')  
  
An auditorium in the North Pole was filled with tiny elves, all chattering away to each other. It was at the HQ as the Grey Elves knew it, but to everyone else, the police block. The main man came up and tapped the microphone.  
  
Hello, everyone, and thank you for coming! he said, which otherwise meant Hi, now shut up, sit down and listen! Everyone immediately quieted and all eyes turned to him. I must say this doesn't happen very often. Very few of you know who I am, but I am Mr. Rollow, the head of Head Quarters. Everyone exchanged confused glances at the words Head Quarters', but he only laughed. As you all know, Lord Agurakki, the Dark One, has been defeated.  
  
The room exploded in wild cheers and whistling. From where Carol and Scott sat near the back, the cheering was the loudest.  
  
This ceremony has been called, as some of you may know, to thank those who helped in his defeat and honor those who gave their lives in the attempt, Mr. Rollow continued. Curtis flipped through the program before shutting it angrily. As Head Elf, he was going to have a word with Mr. Rollow afterwards, because he didn't see the words Grey Elves' in the entire thing. Still, he contented himself to sit back and listen.  
  
Of course, the Clauses were thanked, and they smiled and waved to everyone. Everyone gave a moment of silence for those killed, most of which they didn't know, but especially for Abbey. Curtis blushed bright red when his name was announced, and Judy's name was mentioned as well though no one really knew for what.  
  
Good job, Curtis laughed, putting his arm around her and she giggled, scooting closer to him. Many more names were announced, and every cheered loudly. Finally, the last awards on the program were handed out, and as the applause died down, some started to get up.  
  
Wait a minute, folks! Mr. Rollow called, causing them to exchange puzzled glances but sit down all the same. I have a few more people announce, and I will be giving them medals of honor. Everyone looked at each other and began talking at once, but Mr. Rollow quieted them with a single, raised hand.  
  
Well, before that, I would like to ask if any of you know what a Grey Elf is? everyone looked at each other and shook their heads. Curtis grinned, because though he really didn't know what a Grey Elf was, he knew what was coming. Also, he was hoping for an explanation, which he did indeed get.  
  
Grey Elves was an organization of elves who gave up their whole lives for this cause. You see, they all joined as Dark Elves, which forever cursed them. They were forced to give information to the Dark One and murder for him, but they did it anyway simply in hopes that they could somehow beat the Dark One. Firstly, I would like to mention three who were killed just recently. They were the elves Christy Felling, Ron Gansburg, and Ian Jordan, everyone clapped, but from somewhere came wild cheering, though none could figure out who was doing it. Though there are more Grey Elves, I will not mention them all. However, I have several I want to award medals, he grinned, and everyone waited expectantly. Firstly, I would like to award a young elf who joined last November. She had not even a year of training, which was why it was extremely hard for her, but she pulled through much easier than any of us had expected. I award this medal of honor to Grey Elf 4039, Jacey Hemmings! Everyone clapped politely, but again from somewhere in the shadows came wild cheering. Jacey emerged from the shadows and walked onto the stage.  
  
This is ridiculous! We're sitting here seeing some elves get awarded because the have a Kurai but claim they aren't on his side! Judy growled.  
  
Curtis exploded, causing her to jump. They did not! They prevented many attacks and they had to murder and lose their closest friends in return! They diserve your respect! Though he had just been yelling at Judy, the whole room had head and Jacey was blushing bright red. Mr. Rollow laughed.  
  
Yes, that's correct Curtis. I hope none of you are mistaken the way she was, for they did not just tell us one thing or prevent one attack. They risked their lives and actually, though you may not know, prevented three assasinations of Scott Calvin this year alone, everyone gasped and Scott looked slightly paler, making Mr. Rollow laugh. You see, ladies and gentlemen, I have reason to believe that without these Grey Elves, the North Pole would have been destroyed years ago. Now, I would like you to truly applaud this young lady!   
  
This time, the whole room exploded in clapping and loud whistles, making Jacey turn even redder as Mr. Rollow placed the medal over her head. She started to walk off stage but he held out his hand.   
  
No, Jacey, I'd like you to stay up here. You see, there were three others just like her. They were four of the closest friends I've ever seen, always there for each other, sharing each other's pain... thats why I'd like for you, Jacey, and the rest I call up to remain standing up here so you can be seen together, for you have worked together and gotten through this together, Mr. Rollow smiled at her and she beamed back at him, tears running down her face. Noticing this, Jacey turned (if possible) even redder and wiped them away.  
  
So much for a strong-minded Grey Elf! she groaned, making everyone laugh lightly as she rubbed her eyes and then stood, smiling and proud.  
  
Next, I would like to award someone very close to Jacey. This boy joined over five years ago. His mother died during his birth and his father was killed by Dark Elf Magic. He was raised by his Aunt and Uncle, both of which were Dark Elves. That was when he decided he wanted to be a Grey Elf. He came to us and trained for three years, so he has truly been a Grey elf for over eight years. For his services and several times being the one who prevented Scott Calvin's assasination, I award this medal of honor to Grey Elf 971, Perrin Alwney! the entire room was silent a minute except for, once again, the wild cheering in the shadows and Perrin emerged from them. Of course, no one had clapped sense they were all stunned that Perrin had done this, but upon hearing the wild cheers, they soon joined in, making Perrin laugh.   
  
He walked up next to Jacey as smiled at her. The medal was placed around his neck and everyone broke into wild cheering again, and the two clasped hands.  
  
Next, I would like to thank someone who touched the lives of all that knew her. She grew up on the streets where everyone she knew became Dark Elves, yet she resisted. She trained for two, solid years and then became a Dark Elf last New Years. She has the power to make any of us laugh yet keeps a firm grip on reality, always ready to help. For what is soon to be three years of service, I award this medal of honor to Grey Elf 4041, Kae Karison, everyone cheered wildly for her as she, too, emerged from the shadows and jumped up on stage, completely ignoring the stairs. She stood next to Perrin and as the medal was placed over her head, everyone cheered.  
  
Oh, she is such a wonderful girl! Carol whispered to her husband, who saw the tears in her eyes and laughed (and recieved an elbow in the ribs). Holding up the last medal, Mr. Rollow stepped back up to the mike.  
  
Lastly, I would like to thank an elf who has made a difference in all of our lives. He has shown devotion beyond anything I've ever seen or imagined. He juggled two of the hardest jobs and accomplished them both wonderfully. I was amazed by how much he has accomplished, for he was the first Grey Elf to work directly with the Dark One. In the beginning, he had neither Jacey, Kae, or Perrin to comfort him... only himself. And he couldn't tell anyone because it would endanger both his lives and the lives of those around him. He trained for two years and has been a Dark Elf for over eight years. Also, as if that wasn't enough, he was the one who truly destroyed the Dark One using not Dark Elf Magic, but Light Elf Magic, something that can only be awoken in the most purest of hearts, every elf broke into applause here, wondering who it would be, for Mr. Rollow had said they all knew him.   
  
For his ten years of service, utmost devotion, and outstanding courage, I would like to award this medal of honor to a certain elf, though before I tell you who, he asked me to please tell you all something, he waited for dead silence, which greeted him quickly. A small smile played his lips. He wanted me to tell you all that he was forced to say certain things so as not to give away his identity, for that would have ended with him dead. He was forced to lie to you all about something that deeply grieved him. Quoting him exactly, he says, I never, and nor would I if the Dark One had told me to pick between it and death, hurt Abbey. I am not the Dark Elf who killed her.' Ladies and Gentemen, I present the former Head Elf and Second Assasin 712, Bernard Almsberry!   
  
Curtis jumped to his feet, cheering as loud as he could. Perrin, Jacey, and Kae screamed as loud as they could, clapping like mad. Everyone else sat completely still in utter shock as Bernard emerged from the shadows. He stopped once he was in the light and raised an eyebrow.  
  
Come on, ten years of torture and I don't even get an applause? he shouted with a laugh. Everyone exchanged glances, and suddenly, the entire room exploded. Elves were jumping up on their seats and whistling, screaming at the top of their lungs, and many of the she-elves had tears streaming down their faces.  
  
Carol stared at her husband with so much joy in her eyes that he had to laugh. Bernard... Bernard... he isn't... Scott just laughed harder.  
  
Charlie shouted from next to them. Alright, I get up here to here my life-long idol is a murderer and now... he is but he isn't? He stared quizically at his parents, who exchanged glances before they burst out laughing and then resumed their cheering.  
  
Speech! Speech! Speech! soon, the whole room was chanting, and Bernard groaned and stepped up to the microphone. Everyone immediately quieted down.  
  
Well... basically, all I really have to say is that I'm sorry I lied to you guys. However, I have a feeling this explains a lot... yes, being Second Assasin and Head Elf was enough to turn my hair grey...  
  
Which is why he wears that beret! Kae shouted, making them all laugh and he glared at her before continuing.  
  
Yes, well you see, that was why I handed the position over to Curtis. Of course, it didn't really work, because then the Dark One became suspicious about me and asked me to murder Ian, Ron, and Christy, the three Dark Elves named earlier. Though I didn't know it, it was a test, and of course I couldn't kill them. Instead, other Dark Elves emerged from the shadows, killed those three and took me to the Dark One. He tortured me for hours... I was able to rest every now and then when he snapped orders at other Dark Elves. Now that I think about it, I remember him telling someone to murder any of the North Pole elves they could find as a way to repay my being a traitor. I suppose that was why Abbey was killed... he let the statement hang in the air a moment before continuing.   
  
Well, on a happier note, I'd like to thank a couple people. Of course, I have to thank the Clauses, and yes Charlie, I consider you a Clause, he smiled at the three in the back and everyone clapped. Also, I'd like to thank all the North Pole elves... I never grew used to murders, but seeing all of your smiling faces day after day gave me strength and reminded me why I was doing this, everyone screamed at the top of their lungs in approval, to which Bernard smiled, starting up again once the noise died down. I'd like to thank Curtis and Judy, who have been there for me even when they didn't know what was wrong. They have been my best friends for a long time, and they are what kept me going, more cheering as well as two elves turning bright red. And lastly, I'd like to thank the three elves who were always people I could turn to for help. They understood and shared my pain and have been the greatest friends I've ever had and now, they seem like a family to me, everyone applauded loudly again as Bernard smiled at his best friends, and Jacey was absolutely wailing.   
  
To conclude this speech, I would like to say four words, he turned to face his friends as dead silence hung over the room. Suddenly, as if he had been trying to keep a straight face and had failed, he smiled at them with amazing joy in his eyes. Guys, we did it!  
  
Once again, the room exploded in absolute love, wonder, and pride of the one they had believed a traitor. Bernard had given up his whole life for them and never asked anything in return. They had all hated him, yet he still returned and still beamed at them.   
  
And they all loved him for it.  
  
As Bernard looked out into the sea of smiling faces, he recieved a sudden pang of sorrow. For a moment, he imagined his life before this all... before he had been forced to murder for the one he hated. He imagined himself just simply the Head Elf, watching in jealousy as Judy and Curtis's love grew, whether they realized it or not, forever hating Perrin with Curtis, never knowing his good side, never meeting Jacey or Kae, or learning what life truly meant. He imagined how his life had been just ten years before. He laughed out loud.  
  
Or not.  
  
~*~  
  


When I think about my life,  
I wonder if I will survive,  
To live to see 25,  
Or will I just fall?  
  
Like all my friends,  
They just keep dying,  
People round me always crying,  
In this place that I like to call my home.  
  
But not everybody knows,  
That everybody goes,  
To a better place.  
And not everybody knows,  
That everybody could be living,  
Their last days.  
  
But the hard times will come,  
And we'll keep movin' on,  
We're movin' up,  
Keep movin' on...  
  
Life, hope, truth, trust, faith, pride, love, lust,  
On without the things we've lost,  
The things we've gained we'll take with us...  
  
And all I've got are these two hands,  
To make myself a better man,  
I wonder if I'll ever see,  
The end of this.  
  
With all this rain, it just keeps falling,  
On my head and now I'm calling,  
Out to someone else to help me,  
Make it through...  
  
But not everybody knows,  
That everybody goes,  
To a better place.  
And not everybody knows,  
That everybody could be living,  
Their last days.  
  
But the hard times will come,  
And we'll keep movin' on,  
We're movin' up,  
Keep movin' on...  
  
Life, hope, truth, trust, faith, pride, love, lust,  
Pain, hate, lies, guilt, laugh, cry, live, die,  
Some friends become enemies,  
Some friends become you family,  
Make the best with what you're given,  
This ain't dying, this is living!  
  
Said we're movin' on,  
And we've got nothing to prove,  
To anyone,  
Cause we'll get through,  
We're movin' on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and On and on and on and on and on and on and on...  
Keep movin' on...  
  
Life, hope, truth, trush, faith, pride, love, lust,  
Pain, hate, lies, guilt, laugh, cry, live, die,  
Some friends become enemies,  
Some friends become you family,  
Make the best of what you're given,  
This ain't dying, this is living!  
  


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
A/N: Well, how was that for an ending chapter? Come on... I actually wrote something happy! Give me some credit! ^_~ Man, I can't believe how much this song fits the end of the chapter! If you don't get it, I will explain: Everyone around hims dying and all of them are usually crying, and no one knew when their friends would be dying. Yet at the same time, no matter how many hardships he went through, he and the Grey Elves just kept moving on. While most would be slowly dying from these things, this was Bernard's life. Quite simply, this is how you sumarize his life: Life, hope, truth, trust, faith, pride, love, lust, pain, hate, lies, guilt, laugh, cry, live, die. See what I mean? OOOOOOH I love this song!   
  
Well guys, it ain't over yet... 5 reviews and I'll post the epilouge and I've already started the sequel... well, if you call writing the A/N and saving it on my desktop starting, yup, I have! Of course, your reviews are what have kept me going, so the more **reviews**, the faster I'm liable to write!!! 5 reviews and I'll post the epilouge, so...:  
  


**REVIEW!!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!!!**


	8. If You Could Only See

A/N: Well folks... this story is almost over... and your reviews are what kept me posting!!!!! I love you all and I am posting the thanks at the end of this chapter... I am thanking EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!!!!!! I love you all sooooo much, and I will try and write the sequel ASAP!!! Well, here's is the *supposively* touching epilouge!!  
  


**If You Could Only See****  
Epilouge**  


  


**Tonic - If You Could Only See  
**  
If you could only see the way she loves me,  
Then maybe you would understand,  
Why I feel this way about our love,  
And what I must do.  
  
If you could only see how blue,  
Her eyes can be when she says,  
When she says she loves me...  
  
Well you got your reasons,  
And you got your lies,  
And you got your manipulations,  
They cut me down to size.  
  
Sayin' you love but you don't,  
You give your love but you won't...  
  
If you could only see the way she loves me,  
Then maybe you would understand,  
Why I feel this way about our love,  
And what I must do.  
  
If you could only see how blue,  
Her eyes can be when she says,  
When she says she loves me...  
  
Seems the road less traveled,  
Show's happiness unraveled,  
And you got to take a little dirt to keep what you love.  
That's what you gotta do.  
  
Sayin' you love but you don't,  
You give your love but you won't,  
You're stretching out your arms to something,  
That's just not there.  
  
Sayin' you love where you stand,  
Give your heart when you can...  
  
If you could only see the way she loves me,  
Then maybe you would understand,  
Why I feel this way about our love,  
And what I must do.  
  
If you could only see how blue,  
Her eyes can be when she says,  
When she says she loves me...  
  
Sayin' you love but you don't,  
You give your love but you won't,  
  
She loves...  
  
Sayin' you love where you stand,  
Give your heart when you can.  
  
If you could only see the way she loves me,  
Then maybe you would understand,  
Why I feel this way about our love,  
And what I must do.  
  
If you could only see how blue,  
Her eyes can be when she says,  
When she says she loves me...  
  


~*~  
  
Bernard clasped Kae's hand tightly, but she was holding his in a far more powerful grasp... in fact, he was losing feeling in the tips of his fingers, but he figured now would NOT be the time to tell her that... Kae was liable to blow him up. Then again, he coudln't really blame her... she was having a baby, for god sakes!  
  
The time between when he had reemerged back into the world of Light Elves till now, he had spent almost every waking moment with Kae, and he'd only made one mistake... two nights before, he left her in the hospital while she was asleep and went out for some sushi and sat at the bar for awhile, yelling at the TV just as loudly as the men around him and flicking off anyone who looked at his ears.   
  
Thinking he was doing the right thing, he decided to be nice and brought her back some sushi. Kae turned slightly green and then proceeded to take the bag and chase him out of the room by pelting him with sushi. Then the nurse came back in and slipped on one of them...  
  
Bernard was brought back to the present and yelped rather loudly... he was pretty sure he had heard his hand crack. Then, to his extreme relief, Kae let go of his hand. Ignoring the pain, he looked up and smiled at her, and she smiled back, looking extremely relieved, her forehead still dotted with beads of sweat.  
  
OUT OUT OUT! one of the nurses suddenly shouted at him before shooing him out.  
  
Not long after, a nurse came out to get him.  
  
Mr. Almsberry? she asked, and he immediately jumped up. He opened his mouth, still trying to figure out what question to ask, but the nurse held up a hand, smiling. Ms. Karison and the baby are both just fine! She turned around and Bernard followed her, wondering why she couldn't move any faster. Though it seemed like forever to Bernard, they soon reached the room where Kae was.  
  
he looked up to see Kae propped up on a few pillows, holding a small bundle. Bernard suddenly became aware that he had left his stomach in the waiting room. Still, he managed a smile and stode over to her side. She gently moved her arms and small yet beautiful, bright blue eyes opened. He gently lifted the small child in his arms, holding her close and gently bouncing her up and down. She yawned a large yawn and then fell asleep with her head on his chest. Bernard found he couldn't tear his eyes away from her face.  
  
Our daughter... he whispered softly and was rather shocked to find he had tears of joy running down his face, but he made no move to wipe them away. That small, beautiful face... there were no words for what he felt, except complete and utter joy.  
  
Yes, Bernard, Kae smiled at him, but he only flashed her a quick smile before returning his gaze to the amazing bundle of life in his arms. That only made Kae laugh softly. She is our little Amber...   
  
~*~  
  
Wow, that was a long day! Bernard shouted to absolutely no one, exasperated, as he flopped down onto the couch.  
  
Don't even get me started! he heard Kae call from the kitchen. Bernard froze, going slightly pale.  
  
  
  
  
  
Have you started dinner?  
  
  
  
GOOD! DON'T! Bernard sighed in relief. Kae came out of the kitchen, looking both confused and disgruntled. Now that she had returned back to her normal size, she was the same old Kae. The only difference was that in her arms she held a small, sleeping bundle. Amber was a beautiful, wonderful child who actually didn't cry much (well... in baby terms, that is).   
  
May I ask what you have in mind- Kae was cut off by the doorbell ringing. Both of them walked into the main hallway to find Jacey and Perrin there, Jacey holding her one-month-older baby boy, Hunter.  
  
Jacey and Perrin are watching the kids tonight, Bernard told her. And we're going out to dinner.  
  
Reservation in an hour?  
  
And a half.  
  
Love ya hun! Kae gently placed Amber in Bernard's arms before bolting upstairs to get ready. Bernard watched her go, shaking his head and laughing, beckoning for Perrin and Jacey to come inside, which they did.  
  
So, how's Amber? Jacey asked politely.  
  
She's a doll... Bernard replied immediately, making both of them laugh, which caused little Hunter to stir. Bernard leaned down to meet his chocolate eyes with Hunter's bright blue, just like Perrin's. And how is this little tyke?  
  
Hunter blinked at him a minute and then promptly stuck his finger up Bernard's nose. Perrin and Jacey burst out laughing before Jacey handed the baby to Perrin and went upstairs to join Kae.  
  
Well... suppose he's healthy... Bernard spoke absently, squinching and unsquinching his nose.  
  
We've considered renaming him Damien, Perrin told him, which made them both laugh before Hunter decided Bernard's curls would be fun to rip out of his head.  
  
Yeah... Damien's good... Bernard groaned as Hunter continued his tugging, pulling Bernard down further and further. Perrin calmly disentangled Hunter's fingers and Bernard sat up, straightening his beret. Suddenly realizing something was a bit different, he peered at Perrin a moment. You got a haircut, didn't you...?  
  
Need I explain why? Perrin threw a glance at Hunter, who giggled and suddenly spit up on Perrin's shirt before giggling again and clapping his hands.  
  
No explanation needed, Bernard replied, laughing.  
  
~*~  
  
Bernard and Kae seated themselves at a rather nice resteraunt. Kae (with many prompts from Jacey) had ended up wearing a slinky, dark blue dress and had pulled as much of her short hair as she could back, twisted elegantly into a clip.   
  
So, you just decided you didn't want to do dishes for a night? Kae asked, and Bernard grinned slightly.  
  
Not exactly... his grin spread a little.  
  
What are you getting at? Kae asked, raising an eyebrow. Bernard sighed before meeting her gaze. The candlelight was flickering in her eyes and shining from the sparkles on her cheeks. She had a sort of beauty he could not put into words, simply finding himself lost in her eyes, that swirling depth of blue... Sighing again, he stood up and grasped her hand.  
  
Come with me, he told her before leading her to a back hallway and then up to a door. He gently pushed it open and Kae peered eagerly inside, trying to get a glimpse. It was all she could do not to gasp at what she saw.  
  
Inside stood about seven Christmas Elves in a line, each holding a different boque of flowers, all smiling at her. The room flickered with candles, the light dancing off the chandeleir hanging from the ceiling. Sweet violen music played, beckoning for her to enter, which she quickly did. Bernard shut the door quietly behind her and she turned slowly around to face her.  
  
her attention was brought back to the Christmas elves as one of the pulled gently on her dress, so she turned back around and smiled at the little elf.  
  
Here you are, ma'am, as Kae took the boque, the little elf smiled, curtsied, and then turned to walk to the back of the line. Kae looked at the beautiful flowers and smiled, happy but puzzled, when she suddenly noticed a small envelope in the center. Holding the boque in one arm, she opened it and held up a small card. She peered at it a moment, then looked confusingly at Bernard.  
  
It's in French, she told him, but he smiled and motioned for her to turn back around. In front of her was another elf, who also presented her with a boque before bowing and going to the back of the line. Again, she found a card and quickly opened it.  
  
she was becoming more and more puzzled. The rest of the elves walked up to her, each giving her a boque and each giving her a card in a different language (the rest were German, Japanese, Spanish, Chinese, and Russian).  
  
I can't read any of these, she said with a laugh, putting the Russian card back into the boque, having a little trouble holding seven flower arrangments in only two arms.  
  
They all mean the same thing, she heard Bernard's voice from behind her and spun around to face him, a questioning smile on her face, jaw slightly dropped, one eyebrow raised. With a sincere smile, Bernard took something out of his pocket and then knealt down on one knee. Kae had a sudden thought... a sudden wonder...  
  
Could he be...? But the thought vanished when she saw he pulled another, small card out of his pocket and handed it to her.   
  
This is what all of them mean, he told her, and she looked down at the card. Her jaw dropped.  
  
Will you marry me? -English' is what it read. She looked at Bernard, hardly daring to believe it. Now, he pulled a small box out of his pocket and opened it to reveal the most beautiful ring Kae had ever seen: a golden band and a beautiful diamond bordered by tiny saphires glittered up at her. Tears ran down her face as she looked up at Bernard.  
  
Kae, will you marry me? he asked her softly. Kae simply stood there for a moment, staring at him a minute. Suddenly, her face broke into a huge smile and she leapt forward, flowers flying in all directins, throwing her arms around him.  
  
everyone in the room began cheering and applauding loudly as Bernard rocked Kae back and forth, both of them laughing. God, I was wondering when you were gonna propose! she scolded into his ear, but that just made both of them laugh harder. Bernard then let go of her and gently pulled the ring from the box and took hold of Kae's hand in his other. Gently, he slid the ring onto her finger before raising his eyes to meet her own. Both of them had tears running down their face.  
  
I love you, Kae, he said softly. She smiled again.  
  
I love you too! she jumped forward and locked lips, the rest of the world melting away, the Christmas Elves clapping and awwing'.  
  
All of them were completely unaware of two figures hiding in the shadows, watching. Jacey gently wiped away a tear and Perrin laughed.  
  
You both sure do know how to propose! Jacey laughed softly, looking down at the gleaming ring on her left ring finger.   
  
I'm glad they're finally getting married... he said truthfully.  
  
Hey Perrin?  
  
  
  
You think Curtis and Judy are alright with the babes?  
  
Judy maybe, but Curtis... he shook his head and they both laughed before Perrin put his arm round Jacey's shoulder and she rested her head on his chest, both of them watching the two elves in front of them... two of the most amazing elves either of them had ever met. They had been Dark Elves, going against everything the North Pole stood for, gaining the hate of many, forced to murder ones they knew and hurt those dear to them... yet despite that all, they had found it in their hearts to love eachother, even when it was impossible.  
  
Even when there was nowhere to run, they had still loved eachother.  
  
~*~  
  


If you could only see the way she loves me,  
Then maybe you would understand,  
Why I feel this way about our love,  
And what I must do.  
  
If you could only see how blue,  
Her eyes can be when she says,  
When she says she loves me...  
  
Well you got your reasons,  
And you got your lies,  
And you got your manipulations,  
They cut me down to size.  
  
Sayin' you love but you don't,  
You give your love but you won't...  
  
If you could only see the way she loves me,  
Then maybe you would understand,  
Why I feel this way about our love,  
And what I must do.  
  
If you could only see how blue,  
Her eyes can be when she says,  
When she says she loves me...  
  
Seems the road less traveled,  
Show's happiness unraveled,  
And you got to take a little dirt to keep what you love.  
That's what you gotta do.  
  
Sayin' you love but you don't,  
You give your love but you won't,  
You're stretching out your arms to something,  
That's just not there.  
  
Sayin' you love where you stand,  
Give your heart when you can...  
  
If you could only see the way she loves me,  
Then maybe you would understand,  
Why I feel this way about our love,  
And what I must do.  
  
If you could only see how blue,  
Her eyes can be when she says,  
When she says she loves me...  
  
Sayin' you love but you don't,  
You give your love but you won't,  
  
She loves...  
  
Sayin' you love where you stand,  
Give your heart when you can.  
  
If you could only see the way she loves me,  
Then maybe you would understand,  
Why I feel this way about our love,  
And what I must do.  
  
If you could only see how blue,  
Her eyes can be when she says,  
When she says she loves me...  
  


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
A/N: And that's the end, folks!!!! I think I mad the proposal a bit corny, but it worked! I have plently of ideas for the sequal, so the first chap should be up VERY soon!!!! My love to all who reviewed... and I will now thank each and every one of you personally, because it is truly your reviews that kept me going!! Without you guys, I never would have come up with a sequal or anything... but your reviews inspired me, and soon, I will have Nothing to Hide' up!!! Thank you to everyone to read and especially to everyone that reviewed... allright, here are the thank you's... of course, some people wrote more and some people wrote less, so do not be offended by how I thank you!!:  
  
Thank You to:  
Kriss (my first reviewer!!!!)  
Midnight Loner  
Savethebadones  
fire snake  
  
Big Thank You to:  
Shmeilia Rockie: I'm extremely honored to have a writer like you saying you like my story... thank you!  
Horse-Girl: I have lost you recently, but in the beginning, I LOVED your reviews!!! Thank you!!!  
SpellGrrl: Thanks for the short & sweet reviews!! ^_^  
GtWe: Thank you for the review... it was nice to know the story had that much effect ^_^   
Morgana Pendragon: I must say I wish you had reviewed more, but its wonderful to know you've been reading all along!! I thank you much for not giving up on my story, even if I didn't know it! ^_~  
  
~***Special***~Thanks to:  
Autumn Took: I loved getting your reviews!!! You were there I think every chapter, and you have no idea how much that means to me!!! I love your work, and having a writer like you with my clone as a best friend reviewing my story is a HUGE honor!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!  
  
Simoriah: Girl of Summer: I think you were there almost every chapter, and thank you SO much for it! When you used to review my LOTR stuff, I got the feeling you didn't like it too much... now I feel like I've finally impressed you, and it means a lot to have you reviewing. THANK YOU!!!!  
  
Tabbi/Jesus-Freak: Hey beb!!! Thank you so much for your reviews... you reviewed pretty damn close to every single one, and it's reviewers like you who keep me going!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!! I always felt like you actually liked the story and you weren't just saying that to get me to shut up... and that means a lot!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!   
  
SilentThunder086: I kinda feel like I lost your attention near the end, but I still appreciate your reviews just as much!!! (hey, it makes the number go up, right? ^_~) I love having you as a reader, and I have a few words of advice for you: More sleep and LOTS of caffeine!!!  
  
VickieTori: HEY GIRL!!! THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR YOUR REVIEWS!!! I have always felt like you were there for me when I wrote this (which is quite scary actually when you look at how many death threat/reviews you sent me...) and your reviews mean a lot to me!!! You reviewed (I think) every single chapter... *sniffs and hugs Tori* I especially love how you write Entel... *whacks her with frying pan* THANK YOU SOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Spike's Girl: Yes, I know, I'm obsessed with my frying pan... I even started a club for it... well, for whacking characters with kitchen utensils ^_^*grins* Thank you for your reviews... and if those weren't enough, YOU PUT MY STORY ON YOUR FAVORITES LIST!!! Thank you soooo much!!!! Luv ya hun!!  
  
If I have forgotten anyone who reviewed (or thinks they did, cuz I just checked my reviews over 3 times), e-mail me and I'll put you on the list!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!! SOOO MUCH!!!!!!!! *hugs all reviewers* Look for the sequel, which I will have up ASAP!!!!!! It's been a long journey... 185 pages to be exact, and I couldn't have done it without you. I love you all and am sorry to end this, but then again, that's what a sequel is for, right?? I hope to see all of you in Nothing to Hide' and just for the record:  
  


**THANK YOU ALL SOOOOO MUCH!!!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!  
  
**

(PS: It takes some pretty good reviewers to get my crying... you all must be great reviewers!!)


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